Grown Up... Who Me?

There are approximately 20 days (give or take) left in my junior year of college. That means in approximately 20 days, I will be a senior in college. Where did the time go?!?! I feel like it was just yesterday I was blogging about my first day here! Anyway, due to this and a few other things that have come up lately, I have become aware of my *ahem* impending status... as a grown up.

Last week in our weekly sorority chapter meeting, our advisor asked all of the juniors to stand up. We did so, thinking we did something awesome and we were going to be bragged about or something. "Look around," she told everyone. We did. "In 20 days, you all will be the seniors of this chapter," she announced as we looked at each other in pretty much disbelief. We were all thinking how did we become the seniors? Weren't we just little freshman getting guided by the seniors? It was a wake up call, to say the least.

We all technically knew we were becoming the seniors soon; we had watched 2 classes of our friends graduate and leave, and we are quickly approaching graduation time where more of our friends will move on with their lives. It's only logical that we are next. But we didn't want to believe it. Didn't want to think that we were so close to having to be grown ups. 

Later in the week, I got an odd phone call. I didn't recognize the number, but I picked up anyway. Turns out it was the dentists office calling to see if I wanted to schedule my next cleaning because I was overdue for one. "That's weird," I told my mom later, recounting the conversation, "Why did they call me and not you?" "Maybe," she told me, "because you're 21 and you're a big girl now." Shoot. I guess I am.

All the sudden, it's all becoming clear to me. I am a grown up. Or at least almost a grown up. A year from now, I will be approaching graduation. From college. And moving home or wherever life takes me. Looking for a job. Being a real life grown up. So technically I have a year before I'm actually a grown up but lately it sure does feel like it's approaching fast. I am becoming more and more of a grown up everyday, whether I'm ready or not!

I am linking up at Mama Kat's Writers Workshop. I used the prompt "The moment I realized I was a grown up."

It Changed My Life

Just two and a half years ago, I sat at the computer one day and happened to stumble upon a couple blogs after googling something. One blog lead to another, and then another, and I was quickly enthralled into the blogosphere. The more blogs I read, the more I began to think "I could do this. I could write a blog." And then, one day, I did it; I started a blog.

Little did I know how much would come from a simple desire to journal my transition from high school to college. Blogging was just a small part of what became my love for social media.

Eventually, I started reading about Twitter on some of my new found blog friends' blogs. They talked about "tweeting" with their friends and even following celebs. My curiosity was peaked, so I quickly signed up and started tweeting with the best of them, and never looked back.

When my parents started joining facebook, I realized I was kind of good at explaining social media to people. This realization lead me to write this post about how I should a be a "facebook teacher." I didn't know at the time that this kind of exists. I began to learn about social media marketing, and knew right away I wanted that to be my career. I dove into social media marketing head first to learn all I could; reading blogs, even books on the topic.

This semester at school, my new found love for social media marketing has earned me an amazing internship. I will be doing social media marketing stuff for my University, and it is such an unbelievable experience that would have never come to me if not for the path that has lead me here.

So far, social media has opened so many doors for me; the internship, I participated in 31DBBB this summer to learn more about blogging. I am an active member of countless social media sites and I use at least 2 social media sites a day.

On my social media to do list: I would love to attend Bloggy Boot Camp. Maybe even BlogHer one day. And of course, I would love to get a job in social media marketing after graduation.

Social media has changed my life professionally, personally and hopefully in many other ways yet to come! I have made a ton of friends, learned a lot and gained so much experience! I am truly grateful for the world of social media!



I am linking up at MamaKat's Writer's Workshop (a day late) using the prompt: "How has social media changed you?" 
Also, disclaimer: I was so excited to write this post all week and then when I actually wrote it out, it kind of sucked. But I'm publishing it anyway. Sorry. 

Happy New Year?

When I envisioned my first New Years Eve as a 21 year old, I envisioned big plans. Parties. Bars. Alcohol (because I can partake in that now!), and most importantly friends (because what's a good party without people to enjoy it with?)  Well, plans changed drastically slightly when our family was invited to go on this amazing trip to Colorado (more on that later). Amazing as this trip was (and it was amazing, did I mention that!?), I went to Colorado sans any friends. Instead, I went with my family and four of my sister's friends (who are great, but not exactly who I envisioned spending new years with).

Anyway, as a result of being in Colorado sans friends, I figured New Years plans were out of the question. You know, other than maybe toasting at midnight with my parents and then going to bed. Except, my sister and her friends had other plans and for some reason they wanted me to come. Begged me to come. Obviously, I said no right away, and named off all the reasons I just couldn't possibly go. "I don't have anything to wear." "You just want me to go because I'm 21." " I don't know anyone there." Eventually, though, after all my excuses were shut down and I had a couple glasses of wine at dinner I decided I had nothing better to do, might as well go out with them. Plus, at least when people asked me where I rung in the new year, I could say "The Ritz" as opposed to "At home with my parents" or "in bed" (which could have easily been the truth if I had stayed in). So off we went to a party at the Ritz Carlton because obviously that is where the party is at. And, oh boy, I had no idea what I was getting myself into. (Well, really, I did but I tried to be optimistic and think it would be better than I assumed.)

Me and my "friends" for the evening!

Anyway, I put on my party hat and went in to the Ritz to see what was in store for me. As soon as we got there, my sister and her friends were running off to the bathroom and all of the sudden, for what would be the theme of the night, I had no idea where they were. The rest of the night was spent what I came to call "making rounds; I would occasionally get up from my super exciting activity of sitting in the lobby drinking the night away my few glasses of champagne to walk into the party to check on the girls to make sure they were A) still there B)Not doing anything I wouldn't do inappropriate.

The real fun came around 1 AM when I tried to round everyone up because my mom (driver for the night, lucky her) was on her way to pick us up. Have you ever tried to round up 5 17/18 year old girls who are in party mode?! Let me tell you, it is no easy feat. I went into the party room and I found 4 out of 5 of the girls. The one missing? My sister, of course. "Where's Anna?", I quizzed. No one knew.  Awesome. This is where I turned into, what a friend described as "Mother Hen"; I went into overprotective, older sister/ mother mode. I told the girls I found not to move and went to search for my sister who I found with a boy, of course. "Let's go," I told her, "Say goodnight." Yeah, as if it could be that easy! She informed me she needed to talk to this guy for awhile, and my protests failed. The guy was no help; he promised me he would take care of her. At this point, I was stressed out trying to round everyone up, I was tired, and frustrated with the way my New Years was turning out and I snapped back at the "Oh, yeah, I can trust you." Oops. A little harsh I think. To prove his trustworthiness, he promised me I could punch him where it hurts if he didn't bring my sister back in 5 minutes. What do you say to that!!?

Anyway, she goes down the hall to talk to this guy and I'm trying (unsuccessfully) to watch them without them knowing I'm watching them. Because, you know, what if he tried to run away with my sister!? Once I was confident that he wasn't trying to run away with her (ok, well after I got caught spying on them) I went back to check on the other girls. And what do you know? Another one is M.IA. When I asked where she was the answer was "she ran off with some guy." Fantastic. So I send the other one's to go hang out with Anna and her new found lover, who by the way, did declare his love for my sister in the exact words "I love Anna." Thank you so much for sharing. Now please back away from my sister, thank you. Finally, by some miracle thanks to my great rounding-up skills, all 5 of them are together. I did have to double check a few times, even counting off "1, 2, 3, 4... there's only 4 of you? Who's missing? Oh you're right behind me. Great, we have everyone." Seriously, I felt like a mother counting off all my children. (Thus the "mother hen" reference.)

So, if my New Years Eve has any indication of what my 2011 will be like, let's just say I'm not looking forward to it. Just like I had big plans for New Years Eve, I have big plans for this year (what they are, I'm not sure, but they are big plans, trust me). I definitely do not plan on spending my year chasing around partiers, but hey, you never know. One thing I can say, is that New Years Eve was definitely an adventure, and I'd be up for some adventure in 2011... why not!? If I can handle crazy teenagers, I can handle anything! Bring it on 2011...

I am linking up at Mama Kat's Losin' It for Writer's Workshop today. I used the prompt "If the way you spent your New Year’s Eve is any indication of how the rest of the year will go, how would you say your future is looking right about now?"

Writer's Workshop: Life's Unexpected Lessons

When I was younger, I loved the Chicken Soup for the Soul books. I loved reading stories written by other people close to my age, and reading about other people's life experiences. Some happy, some sad, some in between. I never finished the whole book, though, because there was a chapter I always skipped. It was "On Death & Dying". A couple of times I tried to read through a few stories in that chapter, and I couldn't do it. I couldn't comprehend what it would feel like to lose someone close to you. I didn't want to think about depressing things like cancer, or tragic accidents, or death in general. Little did I know that this ignorance wouldn't last forever. Unfortunately, you can't skip over the "death and dying" chapter in your own life story.

A few weeks ago, a sorority sister of mine passed away unexpectedly. She was a new member, a freshman on campus this year, so I only knew her for about 2 weeks. She was sick; she had been fighting Scleroderma for several years, but was finally healthy enough to come to college; her biggest wish. She was the sister of a good friend of mine's (also a sorority sister) boyfriend who is also a friend of mine, so I had met her once before she came to school here. We all knew she was sick; it was discussed when we were deciding whether or not she would be a member of this house, but she didn't let that define her, so neither did we.

One night, she was having trouble breathing and feeling weak, so she asked her brother to take her to the hospital. It was not unusual for her to have to check into the hospital and get fluids and assistance breathing, so we didn't realize how serious it was when we heard. Early the next morning, she passed away.

The next day, we were all woken up really early in the morning and told to go to the basement. It was there we were told she had passed away. Obviously, we were all sad. Although we had only known her for a short time, she was one of our sisters, and that is an instant bond. I was sad for my friend who was so close with her. I was sad for her brother who is one of the nicest guys I've ever met and would do anything for his sister. Sad for their family. But, I didn't cry. I had only known her for a short time, so it was hard for me to mourn someone I felt like I barely knew.

Later in the week was the visitation, and then the funeral. It was decided that we would sing at her visitation one of our sorority songs in honor of her. I really wanted to be a part of this, so I decided to ride down to St. Louis with a couple sisters and attend the visitation. I have been fortunate enough to not have experienced many visitations before; I've been to maybe two in my 20 years of life, for my great-grandparents, so I didn't really know what to expect. When I walked into the room, there were pictures of Lyndsey everywhere, there were people standing in line to pay their respects to her body, and the open cascet.

All of the sudden, it hit me. I felt an overwhelming sadness, and I could not stop thinking this could easily be my sister. As I watched Lyndsey's friends hug Ryan, her brother, and cry, I suddenly saw myself in his shoes. I imagined Anna's friends paying their respects to her, heartbroken. I couldn't breathe. A year ago, a funeral or a  visitation would have never affected me this way. But in November of last year, everything changed because my sister was sick. And after that I didn't know how much longer I would have my sister with me. After that, I could no longer experience or even read about death without thinking of my sister and her fight for her life.

The more I heard about Lyndsey at the funeral and from my sorority sister and her boyfriend, the more she reminded me of my sister. Even my best friend told me that Lyndsey and Anna reminded her of each other. They are both fighters; Neither of them questioned "why me?", they just did what they had to do in order to not be sick anymore. They are positive, and mature, and have such an amazing outlook on life because of what they've been through. It made it that much harder to deal with someone you know dieing when I looked at her and thought of my sister. When we heard she was in the hospital, I was comforting my friend who was really close with her. We talked about how Lyndsey and Anna were chosen for a reason; because they are fighters. I hate to see another fighter lose their battle, because it reminds me that my sister could lose hers, too.

I am lucky that my sister is still here, and healthy now. But sometimes those thoughts still creep up, no matter how much you try to stop them: "how much longer will she be here?" "how much longer can she stay healthy without chemo?" "What would I do without her in my life?". The truth is, I don't know the answers to these questions. I wish I did, but I have to accept that that is part of what happens when you love someone who is sick.

For now, I just carry with me every day the lessons I have learned from Lyndsey and Anna. I don't take life for granted, and I try not to let little things get me down. People have bigger battles to fight, and Lyndsey and Anna did it with smiles on their faces. I would have never guessed that losing someone I didn't know that well could have affected me so deeply, but it did. As a constant reminder of what I've learned from them and that they are fighters, I rock my "Pray 4 Anna" and "For Lyndsey" bracelets every day. It's my way of showing the outer world that they are always on my mind.

"Pray 4 Anna" and "For Lyndsey, Forever an Alpha Chi"bracelets.

I wish that I could skip over the chapter in my life of "death and dying." I wish I could even read ahead to the end of the book to answer the questions I have. But, I can't. And if I had skipped the chapter, I wouldn't be who I am today. You never know when life is gonna throw you a lesson, and a reminder to be strong for the people you love.

This post is part of Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop. I used the prompt "In the book I’m reading,Girls of Tender Age,the main character is deeply affected by the murder of a childhood friend. Describe a tragedy you didn’t expect to be as deeply affected by as you are."