Trips, hackers, alcohol & some other stuff- Friday Freewrite

I found this awesome new blogger who hosts Friday Freewrites & since I'm out of town this weekend & blogging via iPhone I figured this sounded like the perfect post for me today! So this weekend I'm visiting Rough Creek Lodge in Glenrose, TX for my dads company picnick & in a moment that couldn't be explained as anything other than temporary insanity, I left my laptop at home. So here I sit, blogging via iPhone wishing I had either a)stayed at the lodge (we're staying in the owners house down the road) with my dad & basically every other male member of my family like my uncle & cousins etc & convinced the bar tender to give me some drinks or b) brought my laptop!! Or both. Thank god for iPhones! Speaking of drinks we had a nice family dinner & the waitor asked me if I'd Like a cocktail. Naturally I said yes & ordered my favorite: a margarita! Then the waitor informed me they have a very nice margarita special. It's made with patron & grand marnier. I naturally said "I'll take it!" my review? I've actually had better. It wasn't that fantastic but definitely still good. Anyway remember how much I love trips & how they usually go so well for our family?! Well our road trip out here today was scheduled to take about an hour and a half. Well some geniuses (my dad & grandpa) set the navigation system to take the long way & we ended up taking all the back roads & driving through oak cliff. That was not in the original directions. So our trip ended up taking about 3 hours. Oh well at least we got a nice view of all the back roads! Ha as my dad said "I've always wanted to see what oak cliff looked like!" So apparently the world almost ended yesterday. I mean a hacker tried to take down Twitter facebook & google (& apparently livejournal but who cares about that?! Lol). That couldve been the end to social media as we know it! That would be scary! I may be misinformed (wouldn't be the first time) but I heard it all started with one blogger that the hacker was trying to take out. How much would it suck to be that blogger?! You would need one hell of an apology post, that's for sure! Can you imagine the hate mail you would get?! Like "how dare you cause Twitter to shut down! I had no one tell all the important stuff on my mind to! And as if Twitter wasn't enough you had to try to take down google facebook & livejournal too?! I hope youre happy!" glad I'm not that blogger (really I'm not!"). So this is my last weekend before going back to school. Pretty crazy. After video chatting with a few of my sorority sisters the other night I was a little More excited to go back. Something about seeing their faces again & catching up on stuff made me really ready to get back to staying up late & chatting & laughing. It will be really great to see everyone again. Well I'm about out of things to say for now so until next time, people!

"Are You Excited?"

I hear this almost everyday at least twice a day, probably more. It usually follows the question "When do you go back to school?" As soon as I answer, it always always follows "Are you excited?" This is where the dilemma is. I know the answer everyone is expecting. I know I'm supposed to say "yes! I can't wait! I'm so excited!" The truth? I don't know how I feel. Of course I want to see my friends, of course I'm looking forward to seeing them again, but excited? Not really. Not yet, anyway. When I think about this question, and how I'm supposed to react, it reminds me of an episode of Sex & the City (work with me, it's not what you think!) when Miranda finds out she is pregnant with a boy. She knows what the ultra sound tech is expecting; for her to get all excited! So, in her words, she fake orgasms. She acts all excited, saying "a boy! oh boy oh boy!" because that's what is expected of her even though she wasn't really feeling that way. This is how I feel when people ask me if I'm excited to go back to school. I feel like they expect me to shout for joy, maybe jump up & down with excitement. I mean, can you imagine if someone said "are you excited to go back to school?" and my response was "eh... not really."? I realize that most people that ask this are just being polite, and don't actually expect me to go into a long, deeply thought out answer. Which is exactly why I smile & "fake it" so to speak & say "Yes, I'm so excited!" Don't get me wrong. I love where I go to school. I love my friends. It's just hard for me to go back & forth, and it's hard for me to be excited. It takes me awhile to adjust to a new situation. It's the same coming home from school; when I first get home my parents are all giddy & excited I'm home & I'm thinking getmeoutofhereandbacktoschoolNOW! But pretty soon it starts to feel normal again, and I know that's how it will be once I get to school. It will take a little getting used to at first, but then it will be normal again, and I won't want to come home because I'm so happy there. Like I said here and here and probably 10 other times, I am lucky to be at a school where I'm happy. So, for now, when I get asked if I'm excited, I'll continue to fake it. I'll smile & nod my head & maybe even jump up and down like an idiot (ok, probably not), but inside hold tight to the knowledge that one day soon I will be excited, and won't be able to imagine a time when I wasn't. Or maybe I'll just answer "read my blog"!

23 Days: A Year Later

A year ago, I wrote this post entitled 23 days about how close I was to making that final step in the transition from high school to college, and how scary that is. Now, a year later, I am back at that mile stone; the 23 days mark. (actually, a little bit past that, but work with me, people!) The overwhelming feeling, although I have many others too, is I can't believe I'm back here already! I remember writing that post so well. I remember those feelings of being unsure of what the future will hold for me. I remember being scared of those friendships that I had at the time, and what would happen to them? And now, a year later, it feels weird. In my post last year, I mentioned a get-together with students & alumns from Dallas that go to William Woods. Yesterday, I was back there again, only this time I was the one with the answers, with the advice for those new students feeling probably a lot like I did a year ago. That is weird. It definitely went by fast; it feels like yesterday I was writing this post about school ending. I remember that feeling of sadness the whole week before school let out. I remember wondering how I would ever survive the summer without my friends! Those friendships I was once so scared of losing have been lost, but replaced with better ones. I am lucky to be going back to a place I love and to people I love, even though I am leaving behind other people I love as well. Part of me is sad. I have had a great summer & have been blessed to be able to spend a lot of time with my family & strengthen those bonds. I'm going to miss them a lot, but I know I'll see them soon. Part of me is also scared. There is a lot at stake this semester... to be honest my grades weren't great at the end of the year. So non-great in fact, that if they aren't great or at least better this year, I'm basically screwed. Which is scary, of course. I want to believe I can do it, I'm capable of so much more than what I have done so far, but it's hard not to play the "what if" game. What if I can't do it? What if I try, and fail? Also, going back brings out some insecurities. Will they still like me?! Will they think know I got fatter? And, the hardest part for me is the back & forth. I like my comfort zones, & I don't like leaving them! But, I am doing my best not to focus on that, and instead focus on the things I am excited for, the things I have missed. My friends and sorority sisters, of course. Shower parties! Meeting and befriending new people. Partying (not too much of course!), and lots more. I know that it won't take hardly any time at all for me to feel comfortable again, and it will be like we never left! I have said it before, and I'll say it again! I am so lucky to be at a place I love & to have found friends I love. This is the most important thing, because above all else, I love where I go to school & I really love my friends & sorority sisters, so I know going back to school will be great despite all the insecurities & worries & whatever else! I just can't believe it's already been a year!