3.8.09

23 Days: A Year Later

A year ago, I wrote this post entitled 23 days about how close I was to making that final step in the transition from high school to college, and how scary that is. Now, a year later, I am back at that mile stone; the 23 days mark. (actually, a little bit past that, but work with me, people!) The overwhelming feeling, although I have many others too, is I can't believe I'm back here already! I remember writing that post so well. I remember those feelings of being unsure of what the future will hold for me. I remember being scared of those friendships that I had at the time, and what would happen to them? And now, a year later, it feels weird. In my post last year, I mentioned a get-together with students & alumns from Dallas that go to William Woods. Yesterday, I was back there again, only this time I was the one with the answers, with the advice for those new students feeling probably a lot like I did a year ago. That is weird. It definitely went by fast; it feels like yesterday I was writing this post about school ending. I remember that feeling of sadness the whole week before school let out. I remember wondering how I would ever survive the summer without my friends! Those friendships I was once so scared of losing have been lost, but replaced with better ones. I am lucky to be going back to a place I love and to people I love, even though I am leaving behind other people I love as well. Part of me is sad. I have had a great summer & have been blessed to be able to spend a lot of time with my family & strengthen those bonds. I'm going to miss them a lot, but I know I'll see them soon. Part of me is also scared. There is a lot at stake this semester... to be honest my grades weren't great at the end of the year. So non-great in fact, that if they aren't great or at least better this year, I'm basically screwed. Which is scary, of course. I want to believe I can do it, I'm capable of so much more than what I have done so far, but it's hard not to play the "what if" game. What if I can't do it? What if I try, and fail? Also, going back brings out some insecurities. Will they still like me?! Will they think know I got fatter? And, the hardest part for me is the back & forth. I like my comfort zones, & I don't like leaving them! But, I am doing my best not to focus on that, and instead focus on the things I am excited for, the things I have missed. My friends and sorority sisters, of course. Shower parties! Meeting and befriending new people. Partying (not too much of course!), and lots more. I know that it won't take hardly any time at all for me to feel comfortable again, and it will be like we never left! I have said it before, and I'll say it again! I am so lucky to be at a place I love & to have found friends I love. This is the most important thing, because above all else, I love where I go to school & I really love my friends & sorority sisters, so I know going back to school will be great despite all the insecurities & worries & whatever else! I just can't believe it's already been a year!

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9 comments:

Sarah Alaoui said...

I can't believe I just finished my first year at college either--it went by so fast! I don't go back until the end of September but I have some of the same thoughts you're having. It will be okay!

Rebecca Louise. said...

The other day I went and did a question and answering session at my nursing school to new people who want to join. It felt so strange that I was in that audience two years ago. I am about to enter my final year and like you put across in this post. It is amazing what to lose, gain and find strength in =) xxx.

sues2u2 said...

It's pretty amazing to look back sometimes & see where we've been & where we're going. I'm so excited for you & the things that you are getting to experience. Have a great school year!

Chelle said...

It seems like you just got out for the summer! It's crazy how fast time has gone by for you.

I can't wait to read about your second year...imagine the stories you'll have!

Dawn said...

Time seems to go by much quicker the older you get, and I am starting to think that is because of all the responsibilities we have with each passing year. Enjoy this year!! As for your grades, you can do it. Give it the ol' college try! ;-)

Katie said...

Patrice I just love your blog! It always takes me to exactly how I felt. You are going to do great your second year in! The new students are so lucky to have someone so kind, friendly and most importantly funny as you to help them figure out how it all works. Can't wait to read all the fun stories from year two! You can do it!

oh yah- and I am sure you have mentioned it, but what sorority are you in?

tanya said...

Stumbled on your blog and just love it. Enjoy your school year. The years seem to gain speed the faster you age. I am almost 40 and had a blast until settling down to have kids at the ripe old age of 36. Life is for living so work hard and don't forget to have fun too.

Anti-Supermom said...

Patrice, you are just on the cusp of some very interesting college years - you'll be amazed (and maybe a little drunk).

Twin XL said...

I swear, th e longer you're in college, the faster the time goes by...enjoy it while you can :)

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