I twittered (tweeted? whatever!) about this earlier, but just in case you didn't get the memo.... This is literally the first thing I saw when I walked into WalMart today. (sorry for the bad quality picture, it was taken on my phone!) Now please... tell me this is not a college students idea of heaven! Could there be any more alcohol?!?! (I'm channeling Chandler from Friends with that statement in case you didn't catch that...) It is even complete with a jumbo pack of ping-pong balls... um beer pong, anyone?! If only I were 21... and made of money! I would buy this all!! Thank you, WalMart... since seeing this today, I can't get margarita's off my mind! I hope you're happy....
So the end of the year is approaching quickly, and what would the end of the year be without preparing for next year? That's what's been going on here at the sorority house lately. We've been practicing for recruitment (when we try to get new members to come in the fall), we've been figuring out all the details for next year like whose coming back, whose not, etc, and my favorite (not!)... who is going to live with whom? This has been the main topic here for the last couple weeks, it's on everyone's mind. I try not to let little things like this stress me out, and I tend to have an attitude towards the future like it's just that; it's the future, so why deal with it now? However, it is kind of hard not to think about my future living arrangements when people are constantly discussing it. My roommate this year & I have gotten along great. Granted, we don't have a whole lot in common; she's a graphic design major, I'm a journalism major, she's really into art, I suck at art, I go out all the time on the weekends, she went out for the first time this weekend in probably over a month... & the big one... I'm a mess & she's really clean. This has been our only issue pretty much (except in the beginning of the year when I would keep turning down the air so the A/C would turn on & make the white noise noise I love, & I ended up making our room like 50 degrees)! Because I'm such a mess & my roommate is so clean... I just assumed that she wouldn't want to live with me anymore. I feel like I drive her crazy with my messiness, but she's so sweet & easy going that she just didn't want to say anything. I don't know that she actually feels this way, it could just be my insecurities talking, but it's how I feel regardless. Anyway, one of my good friends (we'll call her friend 1) decided we should room together. I thought about it, and I had my apprehensions, but I agreed. I talked to my roommate to make sure she wasn't going to be stuck without a roommate (or at least a roommate she actually wants to live with), and she had some people in mind as well, so I figured everything was good. Then, friend 1 decided that she didn't want to live together anymore because there is a theory going around the house that if you live with someone you are close friends with, it will ruin your friendship. Fine. Whatever. Was I dissapointed she changed her mind? Well, yeah. I was looking forward to rooming with her, but I understand that she was looking out for our friendship & I am glad that she values our friendship enough to not want to do anything to jeopardize it. So, I figured I had 2 options: my current roommate & one of my other good friends (we'll call her friend 2) who didn't have a roommate yet. I talked to friend 2, and she said she didn't see any problems living together. I agreed, and we said we would think about it before we set anything in stone. I told my roommate my other friend decided not to live together anymore, and told her I had discussed living with friend 2, and maybe she should live with friend 2's current roommate. Roomie agreed, or so I thought... Little did I know that right after friend 1 told me she didn't want to live together, she and several other people were planning who everyone was going to live with... and it turns out that my roomie & friend 1 have decided to live together, and no one told me! I found out from my best friend who is in charge of all this room picking crap. The thing that makes me upset is that I was with friend 1 all night tonight until I got home, at which point I discussed the fact that friend 1 no longer wanted to room together with my roomie. Neither one of them said anything to me... my feelings are kind of hurt. To top it off, with the exception of friend 2 (& my best friend who has decided to live with a new member next year), the only people left without roommates are people who 1.) I would never live with, and 2.)There's a reason why they don't have roommates yet. I don't mean to be rude because they are my sisters, so I love them. However, they are both really awkward, and don't really connect with anyone in the house... that's putting it nicely, honestly. I may be being dramatic, but I can't help feeling "Am I really that bad?!?" I know I'm a mess, but really? I'm one of the rejects! This just adds to my insecurities about not having friends even more. I don't even want to get into that because this post is already so long. Honestly, it's just hard to feel like no one wants me, even if it is because they don't want to effect our friendship.
For some reason this process has been especially difficult for me lately. In case you haven't noticed, I haven't been blogging a lot lately. It's been like 2 weeks since my last post, and it was like 2 weeks since the post before that. It's not from a lack of inspiration; I keep a list on my phone of all the topics I come up with to blog about, and currently that list has 15 ideas on it (counting this one). They are all good ideas, too, if I do say so myself! I would like to blame it on time, but really, I'm on the computer all the time so it really wouldn't be that hard to write a single post. The problem, for some reason, is getting the thoughts in my head into a coherent post. Often times, I get inspired to write blog posts at like 3 AM or some other crazy time where I should be sleeping. (Clearly this includes tonight since it's now 3 AM & I am blogging). Instead of getting up at 3 AM (usually I'm trying to fall asleep, I'm not asleep or anything when I get inspired), I write down the idea, and go back to bed. Well, clearly that is not good enough for me, because the post never happens. I read my list of topics almost daily, believe it or not, and am constantly adding new ideas. However, if it's not at that moment that I am inspired to write the post, I just don't feel like writing it anymore. I love writing, and I love blogging, there's no doubt about that. In my last writer's block post, I talked about this a little; I have been second guessing myself lately when it comes to my blog. Am I making sense? Am I just blabbing randomly? Will anyone care about this? Do I sound like I'm feeling sorry for myself? These are just a few of the questions that go through my head when writing a post, and usually I usually determine, that no, I am not making sense, and no, no one cares! So then I just save the post as a draft and think I'll get back to that later... then never do. Part of it, I think, is that I am afraid to write about certain topics because of who might read it. After I got a really nice anonymous comment on my dear ass hole post from someone who thinks they know who I am writing about & they know this person, I became aware of just how public my blog is. I do, after all, link to it on my facebook, so it wouldn't be hard for someone from school to find the link & read it, & possibly know who I am talking about. I know that I am in control of what links are posted, and I am in control of how I let the fact that anyone could read what I'm writing effect me & my writing, but it is one of the reasons I am sometimes apprehensive to publish posts. I don't really have a point... I don't think. It is 3 AM & I'm really tired & I'm losing my train of thought. However, I'm not going to second guess myself. I'm going to publish this post, and hopefully another one tomorrow, and get back on the blogging program instead of going two weeks without posting!