Because Everyone Needs A Little Humor

So I really didn't mean to leave my pity party post up for so long without posting again, I just couldn't figure out what to say next! So to take a break from being serious and throwing pity parties... I thought I would do something funny! I got this in a FWD text message the other day, and I thought it was hilarious, so I wanted to share! (Luckily I found it online so I didn't have to type it all up from text messaging) This is Called In Order to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity 1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down. 2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice! 3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that. 4. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks . Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso. 5. In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write For Marijuana. 6. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get. 7. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face. 8. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'. 9. Sing Along At The Opera. 10. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache. 11. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!' 12. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!' 13. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, 'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.' And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity 14. PICK UP A BOX OF CONDOMS AT THE PHARMACY, GO TO THE COUNTER AND ASK WHERE THE FITTING ROOM IS.

Reason # 10000 Why Boys Suck!

Today I was reminded of why I hate this whole girl/guy I like you, do you like me, lets date, lets not whole mess... you know what I'm talking about!? Lately I have started to feel like I am finally over my ex. We can talk and it's not awkward, we laugh at each other's jokes; we are friends, finally I think. So, in the spirit of moving on, I asked a guy if he wanted to watch a movie tonight with me. I don't even know if I have feelings for him or anything, but he expressed his feelings to me a couple times already, and I decided I should give him a chance. Well, his response to watching a movie with me? "Maybe." Um... k? Way to be vague! I'm so glad I put myself out there and asked you to do something when you're the one telling me you like me, and I never hear from you! It's not a big deal, I'm not gonna be crushed or anything if we don't hang out, but it just reminded me of why I hate dealing with boys. They tell you they like you, but they never make a freakin effort to talk to you! I understand being shy, but it's not that hard to text someone... especially if someone asked you to hang out, you said maybe and you said you would let me know. Then I don't hear from you all day. What is that about!? I also wait how boys can turn you into something so pathetic! The one thing I hated about being with my ex was waiting around for him to text me. I would wake up in the morning and wonder when he would text me, or why he hasn't yet. It's stupid! I don't need to live my life around someone else's schedule! Also apparently when guys say one thing when they're drunk they may or may not mean it when their sober (i.e. I like you a lot). I hate that. Basically right now I just hate boys.

Funny Comments, 2nd Edition

I got a pretty good response from this last week, so I'm gonna try and it make it a weekly thing, and post them either Sunday or Monday! So here are this weeks funny, random quotes from conversations that were either overheard or I was involved in: "I got kicked out of girl scouts. I was a Daisy & they let me graduate to Brownies, but then they asked my mom not to let me come back." "Why!!?" "I don't know... some sort of duck duck goose incident" "No junk food, we need beach bodies for Spring Break!" "Um you have a beach body you're a stick" "No... not really" "What's a beach body? Big boobs & a big butt?" "No because I can't afford big boobs!" "Does anyone have (name of professor)?" "Yeah, I've had him..." "Well today I found myself real attracted to him!" "What!? He's like 65!" "I know, but I was attracted to him..." "EW... why!?" "I don't know, maybe I was just feeling extra full of desire today..." "What kind of drink did you get?" "I'm trying something new I got a sex on the beach!" "Oh I've heard from a lot of people that's really good..." "yeah, plus it's so much fun to say!" "I'm not an alcoholic, alcoholics go to meetings!" "You can't judge, you're a stoner" "Yeah, they don't have meetings for that..."