Thrift Store Pen Pals!

It's been awhile since my blog was lighthearted and funny. Once upon a time, I used to be funny on my blog,  you know, before life got so serious. It's not that life isn't serious anymore and you better believe I will still be blogging about Anna, but for now, I thought we could use a change of pace around here. That is why I knew I had to sign up for Thrift Store Pen Pals. This is the perfect opportunity to do something completely different on my blog!


What is thrift store pen pals you ask? Well, Woody at Woodn't Ya Know It started posting about random, crazy items he would find while thrift store shopping. These posts were always hilarious and intriguing to say the least and it was the kind of post I wished I could write. Luckily, he came up with the brilliant idea of sharing this ingenious idea with us, his blog readers. So, he sends you an item in the mail and you blog about it. Easy enough, right?


So.. lets talk about what I got! After reading the other Thrift Store Pen Pal posts, I was really excited to see what I got. I was surprised when I got a box and not an envelope or something smaller. I looked at the return address and knew that my pen pal item had arrived! I tried to use context clues to guess what it was; I shook the box a little to see what it sounded like. It was a little heavy, but not too heavy. What could it be?
I opened up to find....

This.
That, my friends, is what they call a Doll Baby (or as it says on the box DOLL BABY... although I think the capital letters make it a lot more creepy). Personally, I think I would have named it something a little different like... creepy doll missing her body or creepy doll head, I don't know but Doll Baby just sounds so affectionate and cute... everything this thing is not. Let's take a closer look, shall we? Here is Doll Baby removed from her home box.

Immediately, I looked for some sort of warning on the box... I thought maybe it would say "caution! Do not let your children play with this for they will be seriously creeped out for the rest of eternity," or maybe "Beware! This is not a toy! It is simply meant to f**k with peoples minds." Strangely, Turns out I didn't find any kind of warning. What I did find, though, is some interesting information about the origin of "Doll Baby".

In case you can't read it, this is basically Doll Baby's origins. It says she was created by someone named Martha Nelson Thomas. Remind me to be on the look out for people with that name because, seriously, who comes up with something like this? Anyway, the history basically says that Martha thinks you should "cuddle, love and play with" dolls. Novel concept, Martha! Except wait... who wants to cuddle with a body-less doll!? Not me. Anyway, after reading the history I came to the conclusion that Doll Baby does in fact have a body... you just have to buy it separately and sew it together... I think. Now there are a few problems with this philosophy: First of all, you have to know how to sew. If you don't.. well I guess you don't get a body to go with your doll head. And second of all, how many parents do you think forget to buy the body? They are in a hurry and they grab the Doll Baby box not thinking anything of it and then they get home and have to face the question of "But, mom, why doesn't my doll have a body?" How do you explain that!?
Next, I discovered a check list on one side of the box. It is because of this checklist that I discovered this box contains much more than a creepy doll head Doll Baby! Check it out:

Not only does this box contain the doll baby doll head but also a birth announcement (really, for a head?), but also a certificate of authenticity, a name tag, care instructions, the Doll Baby story, and an instruction book with patterns and shoes (shoes... for a body-less doll?) The main thing that stuck out to me out of all this stuff was the Care instructions. Why? I don't know, but my instincts told me that this would be interesting, and I was right. Read carefully the care instructions for your doll baby:

The last 2 sentences are my favorite... "When you are ready to dress your baby again, you might want to sprinkle a little baby powder on its bottom... that's what makes them smell right!" Wait... I realize that you just washed a cloth doll and maybe that's why it wouldn't "smell right" but really? Baby powder? I hope they are kidding. The final sentence of these care instructions is by far the best: "By the way, Doll Babies are allergic to dog bites and sauerkraut." Hold up... what!!!? I don't even know what to say about this statement. I don't know if this is Martha's attempt at humor or what. Dog bites I guess I can understand... dolls that are neglected can likely be subject to a sad life of being a dog toy. But sauerkraut? First of all, who even eats sauerkraut? I'm guessing no one who plays with baby dolls (or baby doll heads, whatever) eats sauerkraut. Maybe I'm wrong, and Martha knows something I don't. Stranger things have happened...
Oh and just in case you were wondering, this is not the only version of Doll Baby. So, if you decide you want a Doll Baby for yourself (they're available on Ebay, I googled it), there are lots of options for you to chose from. See for yourself: 

Lets just say I appreciate the Doll Baby I got a little more after seeing the other more creepy variations. 
Now the question remains... what should I do with my Doll Baby now that she has been blogged about? I'm thinking I may have to take her to class with me one day and blog about people's reactions. Or, you know, she might make a really great prank to pull in the sorority house... Thoughts!? What would you do with your Doll Baby?!
Once again, I'd like to thank Woody for allowing me to participate in this fantastic blog series. Make sure you check out all the other Thrift Store Pen Pals too! 


*Disclaimer: All pictures were taken on my iPhone, so I apologize for the crappy photo quality. I probably didn't do Doll Baby photography justice... 

Bin Laden is Dead... and Facebook reacts.

I'll be honest... I found out that Osama Bin Laden was dead on Facebook. It seems as though the first thing everyone did upon the news breaking was rush to their computers and update their Facebook Status. Facebook was literally overflowing with status updates about the news.

Back in the day when Obama was elected, I compiled the different reactions on facebook into a blog post. When I saw all the statues about Bin Laden's death, I knew I had to do the same. Most were celebrating, some were scary and some were hilarious! Check it out... 

The Celebrations:

•  America!! F Yea!!
• Godbless America and the men and women that caught Osama. 'Merica 
• Special thanks to all our soldiers for their courage and bravery. God bless America! :)
•  ...good to see bad things happen to bad people. 
• Well Done Presidents Bush and Obama, The CIA, US special forces, The Navy seals that killed Osama (I would like to shake your hands), and all our soldiers making us proud over seas. Burn in hell a$$ hole. USA!!!!! 
• Would love to been that small group of americans that took that bitch out!
•  WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS...at least for now...USA!! USA!! USA!!

A lot of them were thought provoking and/or quotes: 

•  It's a little disturbing how many people are celebrating a death with such hateful joy. I'm all for justice, but I'd like to think we're...you know...actually better than/different than the terrorists. That being said: adios, sucka 
• Do I take any pleasure in the death of the wicked? declares the Sovereign LORD. Rather, am I not pleased when they turn from their ways and live? - Ezekiel 18:23 
• "We will not tire, we will not falter, and we will not fail."- George W. Bush, Speech after 9/11 attacks
•  "Let every nation know, whether it wishes us well or ill, that we shall pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe to assure the survival and the success of liberty." President John F. Kennedy 
• "Terrorist attacks can shake the foundations of our biggest buildings, but they cannot touch the foundation of America. These acts shatter steel, but they cannot dent the steel of American resolve." -George W. Bush

The Scary:

• evil never dies one leader falls another rises...think about that.
• While OBL might very well be dead, think of what this might mean for our men and women in uniform and for ourselves, when the inevitable backlash occurs. Please keep this in mind while you're popping champagne corks and toasting one another. 
• hey people, just cause he is dead doesnt mean the war is over..... he was ONE person... there are thousands more just like him.

The Funny:

• Autopsy results show Toby Keith's boot inserted into bin laden's rectum 
• Osama Ghost: Well this sucks...I accidentally enabled location on my tweets. 
• I hope Zuck made Facebook strong enough to withstand the day our United States military heroes took out that jack wagon Osama! 
• "I have never wished a man dead, but I have read some obituaries with great pleasure." (Mark Twain)  
• We should bury Obama and Osama next to each other 
• BREAKING NEWS: Chuck Norris returns from trip to Afghanistan. 
• wrap that in your turban and wear it 
• "We'll put a boot in your ass, it's the American way." 
• FOX NEWS EMERGENCY UPDATE: New information suggesting that Osama Bin Laden was actually killed 49 years ago and has now been reincarnated into a multi-racial top political official is beginning to surface. 
• I was going to write a status about Bin Laden being dead...but I think Facebook got the message 
• Well, looks like Obama just got himself another 4 years. 
• Bin laden... best player ever in hide and seek... dead. 

There was even a group some of my friends were joining called "cancel finals in celebration of Bin Laden's death"! As college student I have to appreciate that! 


I always say when something big like this happens, if you want to know how people really feel log on to facebook and read their statuses! People don't hold back on Facebook, that's for sure! I was one of the few who didn't update my status tonight, but if I did I would go with the simple and generic "God Bless America." Today, I am proud to be an American!

When Vlogging Goes Wrong

So today, inspired by Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop, I decided I would make my very first vlog! I had some free time this afternoon and my roommate wasn't home, so I could do it in the comfort of my own room, so I got to work.

I knew I had to look good for my vlogging debut, so I straightened my hair, put make up on and even made sure to put a blue shirt on because it brings out my eyes! Then, I got my laptop set up and rearranged myself to look the best. I tried all kinds of positions, if you will; sitting up, laying down, putting my computer up a little. Finally I came up with an awkwardly low head tilt thingy* that didn't give me a double chin but I wasn't laying down because that would be weird. So, I was ready.

Well, I guess the vlogging gods were not happy with me, because it was not going well. My first take, I decided to quote the quote that is in my header. Well, I got flustered and totally forgot it. So I had to stop and start again. I figured I could just mesh the two together somehow and go with it. Great plan, right? Yeah, except I guess when I titled my computer lower to reduce the whole double chin thing, it covered up my microphone or something because it recorded without sound. So much for that. This is what I got from that.

Not so interesting when you can't hear me right? Fail #1.

So, not one to give up easily (actually, that's not true but whatever), I tried again. I talked for about 30 seconds, then decided I didn't like it, so I tried again. 3 more times. All 3 times there was no sound. So then, I went on a minor rant about how it wasn't working. Then I was all no one wants to hear you complain. So I scratched that.

Then I did a couple more. And of course, once again it didn't have sound. At this point, I started getting frustrated. I mean, this one was perfect! No double chin? Check. Look pretty? Check. Talked well, told a good story, didn't ramble, etc? Check. Sound? NO CHECK! ugh! Here's a screenshot just in case you didn't believe me that I looked good in this one!

Looking good right?!! Haha I swear I am not usually this obsessed with how I look, but it's my first vlog! I wanted to look cute!

Finally, I thought I had the perfect one! I didn't ramble too much, I looked good. Except, when I went to move it into iPhoto, I realized it only recorded 56 seconds of it. It was supposed to be more like 5 minutes. What!!? Here's the beginning of my vlog, all that got recorded.

It was a pretty good start but obviously incomplete. At this point I was just too frustrated to keep going and my roommate came home so obviously I couldn't keep talking to my computer! Plus, I was late for work so I had to go! I tried again when I got home from work, but by that point I looked tired and I was just not feeling it anymore.

If there is anything I've learned lately with all that is going on with my sister, it is when life gives you lemons, make lemonade. So even though the vlogging thing didn't really work out, I could still make a humorous blog post with my outtakes!

For one final laugh, I love this video. I was testing out my voice before I started and my face at the end of this is priceless! I don't know what I was thinking, I guess that I don't like my voice! I just thought I would share. You have to laugh at yourself once in awhile right?!

So maybe I'll try the vlogging thing again sometime. But for now, this is just one vlog gone very, very wrong!

*When holding your head like this for an hour and a half, you get serious neck pain. Just thought I would share that beauty really is pain!

Back to Blogging

So I've been kind of MIA lately, I know. I have really wanted to blog, but first of all there's this thing called school keeping me a little busy these days. Combine that with Sorority life, working, and campus activities and all of the sudden I got really busy! That, and when I did have a chance to blog, I couldn't come up with anything to say! I had no idea what to write about, so instead I wrote nothing. I guess I just needed some inspiration. I think the SITS girls must have known this because this week they are hosting the Back to Blogging event! This event is all about getting back into the habit of blogging after the summer. There are different tasks for each day and everyone links up! They even have awesome sponsors like Standards of Excellence, Westar Kitchen and Bath, and Florida Builder Appliances and are giving away Thelma & Louise, an Electrolux washer & drier!

So, today's task is to re-upload a post you wish more people would have read. This was harder than I thought it would be. I mean it took me awhile to get readers on my blog, so I figured I would have some old posts that no one read that I would want to give life to. Well, the more I read through my old stuff, the more I realized there was a reason no one read it. It wasn't that well written, it wasn't that interesting, whatever the case, I just didn't find anything I felt was worthy of re-posting. And the posts I did like and wouldn't mind re-posting? Well they had a lot of comments already, so I figured that counts as a lot of people seeing it right?


 Finally, I stumbled upon a few posts I thought were acceptable that didn't have too many comments. One was summing up my freshman year of college. But I talk a lot about my college experience on this blog and sometimes I feel like I say the same thing every time, so I wanted to go with something different! 
Finally, I found this post. I was unusually witty that day, and it has always been a favorite post of mine because it makes me laugh and it is about something I love, Starbucks! So this is entitled "As if I needed more reasons to buy Starbucks..." Enjoy! :) 
**********************************************************************
I may have mentioned before that I am a HUGE fan of Starbucks. Yes, I am a Starbucks-aholic. (stands up) Hi, I’m Patrice, and I’m a Starbucks-aholic. Everyone: Hi, Patrice.

So the other day I was enjoying my Grande Non-Fat, with whip Mocha (what? I like it how I like it okay!?) when something caught my eye…

On the back of my cup it said: “YOU. HAVE BEEN WORKING WITH CONSERVATION INTERNATIONAL FOR 10 YEARS.” (They put it in caps, not me just to clarify) So I was all umm… I’m not sure I follow? So I kept reading… “Everything we do, you do.” Ok, now I’m really confused… what are they saying to me?! I kept reading (I was bored, ok? I needed some entertainment…) “Buy our coffee and good things happen.” Well, I knew that… ask anyone that knows me, Starbucks can change my mood from bad to good, it has powers that even people don’t have!

I won’t quote the whole thing (it’s really not that interesting!) Basically, they were just saying they have partnered up with CI (Conversational International) for the last 10 years and have therefore helped farmers and the planet, and by buying their coffee I am helping!!

I don’t know about you, but I think this is FANTASTIC news! I can finally justify my Starbucks addiction love!! I am saving the planet, not satisfying my own needs desires!! I am helping farmers! I, Patrice, am making a difference in the world! So what if it costs me my life savings a few dollars? It is for a good cause!!!

I especially liked the way Starbucks ended their letter to me: “It makes a difference. Just like you do. Congratulations, you.” YES! Congratulations, ME!

I am a planet saver!!!!! Best.news.ever! :)

This is my cup... I know you can't really read it, but I had to save the evidence!
This is my excited face when I found out the great news! lol


Well, that's it! If you came over from SITS, thanks for stopping by! I hope you'll come back. I'm excited to get Back 2 Blogging, I've missed it around here! :) 

If That Doesn't Say Happy Birthday...

Yesterday my mom turned 48 years old! She is of course a very young 48, which is why it's okay for me to tell you her age!

Anyway, you know what birthday's mean: Presents. My mom is so self-less that she would never ask for anything or expect anything for her birthday, but she does so much for me and for my sister I really wanted to get her something special for her birthday. Only problem was I have been a little busy. I started working full time this week, and because I so geniusly totaled my car last summer, I am car-less, which, you know, makes it hard to go anywhere. So as of 5 PM yesterday when I was leaving work, I still didn't have a present for my mom. So, after a quick consult with my dad and asking my sister to borrow her car, I went off in search of the perfect present.

My dad told me about this used book store that she likes where he got her Mother's Day present from. Since I didn't have any better ideas, I decided to go in there and see what I could find. It was more than just a book store; they had a lot of cute decoration things like really pretty crosses, and things to hang around the house. There was a sweet old lady who worked there and asked what I was looking for. "Well, it's my mom's birthday," I told her. So she showed me a few things, but not quite the right thing. I really wanted to go with a sentimental gift, and maybe make her cry a little! ha Happy tears, of course!

For Mother's Day, my dad got her a bracelet from there she loved, so I decided to look at their jewelry and see what I could find. I looked around and finally stumbled across a really pretty silver bracelet that was engraved with the words "I am blessed when I think of you, my mother and my friend." I knew right away it was perfect. So I grabbed a card and checked out and went home and tried to give my mom a good excuse for randomly disappearing!

It was all I could do to not give it to her right away, but I decided to wait. We traditionally open presents after dinner in our family, so I waited until then. So, she opened her presents from my dad and then I handed her my card and the box with the bracelet in it. She took the bracelet out of the box and put it on (she loved it of course), and then that's when I noticed the gift tag at the bottom of the box.

Sitting there in the gift box the bracelet came in, was a Merry Christmas gift tag that said To: Mom. Love, Linda. 

What!? We all had a great laugh at the fact that this gift had apparently been "used." My sister chimed in with "Well, it is a used book store." I knew it was used books, but I didn't expect there to be used bracelets! My promptly announced very matter-of-factly "I would never return something you gave me!" Thanks, mom. Good to know. Too bad we can't say the same for Linda's mom... poor Linda. I mean, does Linda know her mom returned the bracelet? What could she possibly exchange that bracelet for? As my dad put it, did she walk in and say "give me a couple of used books for this bracelet and I'll take a bookmark too..."?

I mean, really though, if a used gift doesn't say happy birthday what does?! (side note: I tried to get a picture of the gift tag, but thought about it too late, so you'll just have to trust me.)

My Newfound Career Plan!

Who needs college anyway!? I have my found my new career, starting... immediately! So, sign up now while you can before I get booked! What? You want to know what it is?! Fine I'll tell you! I have decided my new career will be a facebook teacher! You don't know what that is?! Well, it's simple really (well not simple, I mean it's not like anyone could do it. It takes a special kind of person like me!). This summer I have been helping my parents become active facebook users! I know what you're thinking, why would I help my parents get a facebook? Most people don't want their parents on facebook, but luckily I have pretty cool parents & nothing to hide! Plus when I'm at school I want them to stay updated on my life! Anyway, back to the point. Since I have been helping them learn how to use facebook, I have become pretty good at explaining how to do stuff, what everything means, etc. Anyway, yesterday at work my 30-something year old cousin asked me to explain facebook to him, teach him how to use it, that kind of thing... and *bam* my career was born! You see, there's a pretty good market for this kind of thing. Facebook is no longer just for your average college student like myself, it is now for teens, pre-teens & even *gasp* grown ups like my parents! And a lot of these new users need a few little "how-to lessons?," and that's where I come in! I set up a few classes, with step by step how-to's on facebook, with a small charge for each session (my mom has volunteered to manage the financial side of things for my booming business!). And this is just the first step! I can teach you how to blog, how to tweet, whatever you need to know, I'm your girl (for a small fee of course). It's brilliant, right?! And I'll even give you a discount for being my special bloggy friends! :) So, what do you think!? Brilliant, right? I know, I know. You can think me later!

If My Tweets Were News...

So it's no secret that a bunch of celebs are on twitter, right. I mean, come on, everyone whose anyone is on twitter! lol Well, I like to keep up with Entertainment news, you know read a few gossip blogs watch E! News sometimes at night & lately I've been noticing a trend. If you're a celeb, your tweets are like headline news! Which, I mean really, shouldn't be surprising because as a follower of celebrity gossip I am aware that if they cough or sneeze, it's headline news but still. Anyway, it got me thinking what if my tweets were headline news?! I don't know what they would say about me.. my tweets are actually pretty boring, but apparently it doesn't matter if you're interesting or not. Ashlee Simpson (@ashsimpsonwentz) tweeted about mac lip liner she liked & that made news! So what would my headlines be?! My last few tweets are: My sister double pierced only 1 ear... is it me or is that weird!? why not just do both ears? Apparently that's the cool thing these days..? I can't believe Family Guy got Emmy nominations... what?!?! It's not even a real show it's a cartoon! I really, really hate that show! blah! Working on my post about sororities & sorority life, etc. Have questions?! Ask away & I'll answer them in my post! :) So what do you think?! Newsworthy?! Totally, right!? I can see the headlines now: Patrice's latest tweet: (insert random tweet here)... she's so cool & down to earth! Ha she even tweets about her sorority's philanthropy foundation thingy! (I know it's so professional sounding, right?! I'm sure the real thing would be slightly better!) So, what about you? If your tweets were in the headlines what would they say about you?! Don't tweet? Check out my top 5 reasons why you should & your mind will be changed!

Seen & Heard (Mostly Heard) Around Here Lately

So many of you post funny comments from around your household occasionally & while I don't have little kids that say funny (but cute!) things, there have been quite a few funny things said around here at my house that I felt compelled to share... plus I kind of missed doing weekly funny quotes posts, so it's kinda like that!

So the first one comes from my dear old young dad! He called my mom the other day after his golf tournament, and when she asked him how it went, his response was "Have you have ever had a nail driven through your eye?" She, of course, said no & he said "Well, I guess you can't understand how I feel then..." OMG, dramatic much?!?!!

Then, later that day my mom & I decided to facebook stalk my dad (okay we didn't really plan on "stalking him" we just thought it would be funny to see what he does on facebook!) Anyway, some woman who my mom had never heard of wrote on his wall & told him he looks great! lol So later when my dad came home, this conversation went down:

Mom: "Whose Jennifer So & So (I can't remember her last name, that's not the point!)?

Dad: "She was a Tri Delt when we were in college... she was a party girl."

Mom: "Oh. I've never heard of her. And she wrote on your facebook wall saying you look good! Are you gonna go have an affair with her!?!" (She was kidding, she has no reason to feel threatened!)

Dad: "No... Lot's of girls talk to me on facebook, it's no big deal."

My dad, the player, y'all! Watch out, he's apparently a big stud that gets all the ladies! I should be so lucky to have such a cool dad...!

My 16 year old sister had a bunch of friends over, and I kept seeing flashes coming from the other room they were in. I started listening to what they were saying, and every time they would take a picture they would say "Be... The Hills!" *flash* "Be... Heidi!" *flash* "Be... a cat!" *flash* They seriously did this for probably at least 5 minutes, who knows how many pictures of themselves they took! lol Don't you miss being 16!? ;)

The other night at dinner, my dad & I had this conversation: Dad: "So my friend, you know Mr. H is working on his website for his company.. blah blah blah... (he talks a lot ok!?) & he was looking at some blogs so I told him you were into all that & I sent him the link to your page..." Me: (Now listening way more closely) "Oh..." Really thinking: You did what!!? How did you get that address?! (Ok, I guess it's not that hard... I mean my blog isn't exactly a secret, I was just taken back that my dad reads my blog or at least knows the link!) Conversation between my parents: Mom: "So our anniversary is coming up, we need to decide if we are going to go out for it." Dad: "Oh yeah..." Mom: "Did you already make reservations somewhere special?!" Dad: "Yeah, of course." (after awhile)... "So what day of the week is that on?" Mom: "Well I guess you didn't make reservations!" Conversation between my Dad & I: Me: "I don't think you like kids very much... I'm surprised you had any!" Dad: "What!? I love kids! What are you talking about!?" Me: "Well, you get mad every time they are screaming in church or something..." Dad: "Yeah, well they are better seen not heard!" My sister & her friends, hanging out in the kitchen... my sister's phone goes off: Sister: "Did I get a text!!?" Friend: "No..." Sister: "Yes I did! Let me see!" Friend: "It's just one of those stupid FWD messages..." Sister: (reading) "You will be kissed on the 4th of July by a person who thinks your perfect & tomorrow will be your best day if you forward this to ten friends including me!" "OMG I'm so forwarding that!!!" (My sister's friend) Friend: "So I have 3 boyfriends now!" Me: "Really?! Wow..." Friend: "Yeah, except none of them actually know we're dating, but they'll figure it out!"

There's an "app" for what!?

So I'm pretty sure we've all seen those iPhone commercials.. you know the one's that talk about all their cool apps, claiming "There's an app for just about anything." Well, I love my iPhone as much as the next person (maybe more) & I definitely love apps, but there are some apps that have me thinking wtf!? Who would pay for these things? And even if they are free, why would you ever need them? Allow me to demonstrate: 1. Virtual Lighter- (99 cents) the description says "the next time you find yourself towards the end of a solid rock & roll gig & need to express your respect for the band, simply pop iLighter above the crowd." ok, really!? I guess I can understand their usage for it at concerts, but what's wrong with just a regular lighter? 2. Shy Bladder- (free) Have trouble peeing when people are around?! Well, now just bring your iPhone with you to the bathroom, and use your shy bladder app to help you! The app has 3 different sounds of running water, which are all supposed to help you release your bladder. I see what they are trying to do, but if your fear is peeing around other people, I would be more concerned about what people would think if I brought my iPhone with me in the bathroom, and starting playing noises... that's a little weird. 3. iSteam- (99 cents) you know when you take a hot shower & the bathroom mirror get's all steamy? And you write stuff on it!? Well, now you can do that from your iPhone! iSteam is like a fogged up mirror, and when you write on it, it squeaks... really? I think no matter how bored you are, writing on a fake fogged up mirror is not gonna amuse you! Plus, even if you do really love writing on a fogged up mirror, why pay 99 cents for it when you can do it for free at home!? Even worse, one of the "features" they list says "write secret messages on a mostly steamless image, and hand over to the hot girl telling her how to blow on the microphone: message revealed." Come on, really!? Maybe it's just me, but I would not be impressed if some guy asked me to blow on their iPhone. No, thanks! 4. iFart (99 cents)- a fart machine for your iPhone. I can't even tell you how many different versions of this app there are. There's just iFart, ifart timer, iFart atomic fart, iFart piano, I luv 2 fart... the list goes on and on. Really?!! Who would be amused by this other than a 5 yr old boy? Grow up, people! 5. R u sexy- (99 cents)- Basically, you point your iPhone at you or one of your friends, press a button, and it determines if you are sexy or not. The description claims that it is "a perfect pickup technique for a valentine romance." Really?! If some guy came up to me and told me his iPhone told him I'm sexy, I would think he was a freak! Waste of money! 6. Bad Breath Analyzer- (99 cents)- This app is supposed to be a "prank app" so you can "trick your friends into thinking they have bad breath." You blow into the phone, where the microphone is, and it acts as if it takes a sample of your breath, and then tells you how your breath is. Again... I have to ask why?! Why is this necessary? Maybe I just don't have a sense of humor, but I would be offended if someone did this to me! There are better ways to prank your friends, people (that is if you are in 5th grade and prank people for fun) and for free! 7. R u drunk- ($2.99)- For $3, you get a series of sobriety tests including alphabet typing test, balance test, and a few others. I understand that this is supposed to tell you if you are drunk or not, but I think most of us know when we've had a few too many drinks. And really, what's an iPhone test gonna prove? That you can't text on your iPhone when you're drunk? I can see how this might be a fun party game, to prove to your friends that they are drunk, but according to the reviews it's not even fun for that. Plus, we all know the common sobriety tests (say the alphabet backwards, follow my finger, walk a straight line, etc.), so why pay $3 for what you can do for free!? 8. iBeer special- ($1.99)- I'm a college student, so I definitely love beer, and anything that has to do with beer, but this is ridiculous! It's an interactive picture of beer. You shake your phone, and the beer foams, or you can "pour it", you can even "drink it". Um, personally I would rather put that $2 towards some real beer, not an interactive, fake one. I don't see this being amusing for very long, but that's just me. Variations to this include iMilk, iBug, iSoda, etc. 9. Fake Call- (thanks to Elaina who suggested this!) (99 cents)- Again, there are several versions of this, but they all essentially do the same thing. Basically, if you are in a meeting or on a date, you can set your phone to call you at a certain time so it looks and sounds like someone is calling you. The point is to get out of whatever it is you are doing, so you can say some emergency came up or something. Um... or you could just be mature and tell your date you wanna leave? Just a thought. 10. Poop the World- (99 cents)- This has to got to be the grossest app there is. I need a minute to compose myself before I can even write this! ugh. Just in case you feel the need to keep track of your poop, now there is an app for that. Using GPS, you can keep track of every location in which you poop, and using over 400 different poop combinations, you can record what type of poop it was including smell and type. Um gross. Even more disgusting, using this app, you can e-mail your poop. Yes, that's right. And don't think that you won't be rewarded for keeping track of your poops, there are 4 different trophies you can unlock for logging your pooping habits. It gets better... have you ever wondered what type of poops & where other people were pooping? Well with this app you can view real-time results of where other people all over the world are taking a poop. Seriously!?!? Ask anyone that knows me, I hate the word poop, I hate talking about it, and I hate referencing it. This app is kind of my worst nightmare! If someone ever e-mailed me a poop, I think I would die! I have now said the word that I hate so much enough times to last me a lifetime. But really... who in the world would waste their time keeping track of this stuff? And who really wants to know the location of other people doing their business? Gross. Gross. Gross!!!! So now you see my point? This is a bad economy, people! Think of all the money we could be saving by not spending money on these absolutely ridiculous apps! I could go on, but I think you get my point. Perhaps there will be a part 2 list, because there are that many ridiculous apps! So I guess it's true what they say, there really is an app for just about anything... even poop! (ew.)

WTF/ WTD Wednesday!

1 of my favorite bloggers Supermommy started What's the Deal With That Wednesday, or as I like to call it WTF Wednesday (I'm not alone in this nickname I'm pretty sure lol). Basically, we just post about things that make you go "Wtf?" or "What's the deal with that!?" (really I just like Wtf because it's shorter...). And today just for playing along, you could be entered to win one of these super cute Easter bunnies! (This is *not* why I am playing along, I am not a moocher like that, but I figured some of you could use motivation, so I would inform you about it!) Anyway, today my WTF Wednesday topic is about sex. Yes, you heard me Sex. Now, don't go running away or anything. This is not about me & sex or anything like that (not that those 2 have anything to do with each other.. just saying don't jump to conclusions!) This is more of a public service announcement, if you will, because all women (and maybe men too) need to know this! According to this article, you know that thing that happens when you're getting it on & it feels really good? Ok, i'll just say it... orgasm? Well, apparently when you do that, you are more likely to get pregnant! Yes, that's right. It increases fertility, and gives couples the greatest chance of getting pregnant! Now maybe it's just me... but I couldn't help thinking WTF when I read that. So if it feels good... really good then that's bad (unless you're trying to have a baby then I guess that's good!). So we're supposed to skip the best part (so I've heard...) or we have a better chance of getting pregnant? hmm... great. Remind me to go take my birth control pills now... KIDDING! *disclaimer... this has nothing to do with my sexual habits... I am not saying I am having sex, or even know where babies come from! I am just telling a story about something that made me think "WTF?"*

Funny Comments #4!

Alright so before I go on with this weeks installment of the funny quotes I collected over the past week, I have a couple requests! First of all, I've decided to make this a weekly thing because I really enjoy keeping track of these & sharing them with y'all! However, I want to make it the best it can possibly be and for that to happen a couple things need to be changed. First of all Cammie suggested getting a button for this! I love this idea, but don't know how to make one! If anyone knows how to do this, and wants to make one for me I would love you forever! I would totally give you a shout out every week when I do this! :) Second of all, I feel this deserves a better name... something a little more creative than funny comments... something button-worthy! Just a couple thoughts I had were That's What They Said (like that's what she said, but what they said get it!? haha) or Say What!? But I am totally open to suggestions! Thanks for the help! Sorry for the novel! moving on to this weeks funny quotes: "I just bought my 1st Bible... I thought about going to the Church and telling them I don't have enough money for one, but I didn't want to get shocked by lightning or something" "I'm so drunk right now I just hit my head on the bathroom stall" "He called me a drunken whore! I am not a drunken whore! I may be drunk a lot, but I am not a whore!" "Why me? Why do I have to be sick!? I want to go out tonight! Why can't someone who doesn't go out get sick!?" "What do you call a fly without wings?" "I don't know what?" "It's not a joke! I'm asking! They call it a fly, but if it has no wings, it can't fly, so what do you call it!?" "I wish I had a figure like Boyance" "Who?" "You know, Boyance! She has the perfect body she's like skinny but with curves, I wanna look like that!" "Who are you talking about!?" "Boyance you know the chick that sings 'Put a Ring on it' or whatever..." "...um Beyonce?" "Yeah her!" Girl 1: "You look so hot! F**k me!" Girl 2: "What!!?" Girl 1: "OMG not like that... I meant f**k me like f**k my life!"

Because Everyone Needs A Little Humor

So I really didn't mean to leave my pity party post up for so long without posting again, I just couldn't figure out what to say next! So to take a break from being serious and throwing pity parties... I thought I would do something funny! I got this in a FWD text message the other day, and I thought it was hilarious, so I wanted to share! (Luckily I found it online so I didn't have to type it all up from text messaging) This is Called In Order to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity 1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down. 2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice! 3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that. 4. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks . Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso. 5. In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write For Marijuana. 6. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get. 7. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face. 8. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'. 9. Sing Along At The Opera. 10. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache. 11. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!' 12. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!' 13. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, 'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.' And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity 14. PICK UP A BOX OF CONDOMS AT THE PHARMACY, GO TO THE COUNTER AND ASK WHERE THE FITTING ROOM IS.