I know it's been like a million years since I posted here. Recruitment was over almost 2 weeks ago (read about it here!), so I can't really use that excuse anymore. I have been trying to post; I have like 5 drafts over the last couple weeks that I start, and then I can't finish. There in lies the problem.
Every time I start to write something lately, I think this sucks. I shouldn't post it. or I sound stupid. Or what if someone IRL reads it who I don't want to read it and it causes drama? I guess I just can't get out of my own head, and it is causing problems!
I remember feeling frustrated like this before, like I want to post but I can't because of problem A B or C. So I did some digging and found this post I wrote a few months ago. It's really great when you can give yourself a pep talk! Like I said in that post, I blog for me and the rest of it like comments & blog friends is an added bonus, but is not the focus. I can't worry so much about the fact that my writing sucks or I sound like an awful person because so what!? If I was writing a diary on paper that no one but me read, I would probably suck at writing sometimes, and I would probably sound selfish or something at times because that's real life! If I'm just writing for me, I wouldn't be constantly self-editing to the point where I don't even want to post anymore!
So if my writing sucks and I sound like an awful person, I'm sorry, but later when I'm looking back on my blog, remembering this time in my life, I want there to be something to read. It's not the same going through your drafts folder and reading half written posts or even full written posts that never got posted or never finished. I guess its true when people say you are your own harshest critic. I don't know why I'm so hard on myself...
So I just needed this little pep talk to remind me that whatever I post has a purpose, it serves as a memory, and that is a good enough reason to post whatever I want! I guess if I'm being true to my word I should post one of those drafts that's already finished or half finished, but I figured I might as well put this in writing first! I'll get back to the other stuff eventually.. or not. We'll see...
