It's been awhile since my blog was lighthearted and funny. Once upon a time, I used to be funny on my blog, you know, before life got so serious. It's not that life isn't serious anymore and you better believe I will still be blogging about Anna, but for now, I thought we could use a change of pace around here. That is why I knew I had to sign up for Thrift Store Pen Pals. This is the perfect opportunity to do something completely different on my blog!
What is thrift store pen pals you ask? Well, Woody at Woodn't Ya Know It started posting about random, crazy items he would find while thrift store shopping. These posts were always hilarious and intriguing to say the least and it was the kind of post I wished I could write. Luckily, he came up with the brilliant idea of sharing this ingenious idea with us, his blog readers. So, he sends you an item in the mail and you blog about it. Easy enough, right?
So.. lets talk about what I got! After reading the other Thrift Store Pen Pal posts, I was really excited to see what I got. I was surprised when I got a box and not an envelope or something smaller. I looked at the return address and knew that my pen pal item had arrived! I tried to use context clues to guess what it was; I shook the box a little to see what it sounded like. It was a little heavy, but not too heavy. What could it be?
I opened up to find....
That, my friends, is what they call a Doll Baby (or as it says on the box DOLL BABY... although I think the capital letters make it a lot more creepy). Personally, I think I would have named it something a little different like... creepy doll missing her body or creepy doll head, I don't know but Doll Baby just sounds so affectionate and cute... everything this thing is not. Let's take a closer look, shall we? Here is Doll Baby removed from her
Immediately, I looked for some sort of warning on the box... I thought maybe it would say "caution! Do not let your children play with this for they will be seriously creeped out for the rest of eternity," or maybe "Beware! This is not a toy! It is simply meant to f**k with peoples minds."
In case you can't read it, this is basically Doll Baby's origins. It says she was created by someone named Martha Nelson Thomas. Remind me to be on the look out for people with that name because, seriously, who comes up with something like this? Anyway, the history basically says that Martha thinks you should "cuddle, love and play with" dolls. Novel concept, Martha! Except wait... who wants to cuddle with a body-less doll!? Not me. Anyway, after reading the history I came to the conclusion that Doll Baby does in fact have a body... you just have to buy it separately and sew it together... I think. Now there are a few problems with this philosophy: First of all, you have to know how to sew. If you don't.. well I guess you don't get a body to go with your doll head. And second of all, how many parents do you think forget to buy the body? They are in a hurry and they grab the Doll Baby box not thinking anything of it and then they get home and have to face the question of "But, mom, why doesn't my doll have a body?" How do you explain that!?
Next, I discovered a check list on one side of the box. It is because of this checklist that I discovered this box contains much more than a
Not only does this box contain the doll baby doll head but also a birth announcement (really, for a head?), but also a certificate of authenticity, a name tag, care instructions, the Doll Baby story, and an instruction book with patterns and shoes (shoes... for a body-less doll?) The main thing that stuck out to me out of all this stuff was the Care instructions. Why? I don't know, but my instincts told me that this would be interesting, and I was right. Read carefully the care instructions for your doll baby:
The last 2 sentences are my favorite... "When you are ready to dress your baby again, you might want to sprinkle a little baby powder on its bottom... that's what makes them smell right!" Wait... I realize that you just washed a cloth doll and maybe that's why it wouldn't "smell right" but really? Baby powder? I hope they are kidding. The final sentence of these care instructions is by far the best: "By the way, Doll Babies are allergic to dog bites and sauerkraut." Hold up... what!!!? I don't even know what to say about this statement. I don't know if this is Martha's attempt at humor or what. Dog bites I guess I can understand... dolls that are neglected can likely be subject to a sad life of being a dog toy. But sauerkraut? First of all, who even eats sauerkraut? I'm guessing no one who plays with baby dolls (or baby doll heads, whatever) eats sauerkraut. Maybe I'm wrong, and Martha knows something I don't. Stranger things have happened...
Oh and just in case you were wondering, this is not the only version of Doll Baby. So, if you decide you want a Doll Baby for yourself (they're available on Ebay, I googled it), there are lots of options for you to chose from. See for yourself:
Lets just say I appreciate the Doll Baby I got a little more after seeing the other
Now the question remains... what should I do with my Doll Baby now that she has been blogged about? I'm thinking I may have to take her to class with me one day and blog about people's reactions. Or, you know, she might make a really great prank to pull in the sorority house... Thoughts!? What would you do with your Doll Baby?!
Once again, I'd like to thank Woody for allowing me to participate in this fantastic blog series. Make sure you check out all the other Thrift Store Pen Pals too!
*Disclaimer: All pictures were taken on my iPhone, so I apologize for the crappy photo quality. I probably didn't do Doll Baby photography justice...