Grown Up... Who Me?

There are approximately 20 days (give or take) left in my junior year of college. That means in approximately 20 days, I will be a senior in college. Where did the time go?!?! I feel like it was just yesterday I was blogging about my first day here! Anyway, due to this and a few other things that have come up lately, I have become aware of my *ahem* impending status... as a grown up.

Last week in our weekly sorority chapter meeting, our advisor asked all of the juniors to stand up. We did so, thinking we did something awesome and we were going to be bragged about or something. "Look around," she told everyone. We did. "In 20 days, you all will be the seniors of this chapter," she announced as we looked at each other in pretty much disbelief. We were all thinking how did we become the seniors? Weren't we just little freshman getting guided by the seniors? It was a wake up call, to say the least.

We all technically knew we were becoming the seniors soon; we had watched 2 classes of our friends graduate and leave, and we are quickly approaching graduation time where more of our friends will move on with their lives. It's only logical that we are next. But we didn't want to believe it. Didn't want to think that we were so close to having to be grown ups. 

Later in the week, I got an odd phone call. I didn't recognize the number, but I picked up anyway. Turns out it was the dentists office calling to see if I wanted to schedule my next cleaning because I was overdue for one. "That's weird," I told my mom later, recounting the conversation, "Why did they call me and not you?" "Maybe," she told me, "because you're 21 and you're a big girl now." Shoot. I guess I am.

All the sudden, it's all becoming clear to me. I am a grown up. Or at least almost a grown up. A year from now, I will be approaching graduation. From college. And moving home or wherever life takes me. Looking for a job. Being a real life grown up. So technically I have a year before I'm actually a grown up but lately it sure does feel like it's approaching fast. I am becoming more and more of a grown up everyday, whether I'm ready or not!

I am linking up at Mama Kat's Writers Workshop. I used the prompt "The moment I realized I was a grown up."

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PYHO: Seasonal Depression

The time has come. I was doubtful it would ever arrive after months and months of snow and bitterly cold temperatures, but spring seems to be officially here. I realize that for most people this is a great thing, a happy thing. But for me? It causes what I have self diagnosed as seasonal depression.

I know it seems crazy. Beautiful weather, beautiful plants, the ability to actually be outdoors and not freeze.. how does that cause depression?! Let me try to explain...

I have never been a skinny person; it's just not how I'm built. But lately I have gained a lot of weight. I have let myself get so far out of control I don't know how to get back. And most of all, I have been in denial. Winter was easy. Throw on some jeans and a sweatshirt and you don't really have to face what your body looks like under all those layers, so you can tell yourself that you look great. That you haven't gained that much weight. That no one can tell how fat you are.

And then comes Spring... which means short shorts, tank tops, mini skirts and teeny tiny dresses. This brings out all my insecurities and multiplies them by like 1000. Eventually, it is so hot outside that you really can't wear jeans anymore and be fine. Which means it is time for the inevitable but awful; it is time to bust out the shorts. Just the word makes me cringe; I have a hate/hate relationship with shorts. First of all, why do they have to be so short? I don't want shorts that barely pass my crotch because underneath that are my thunder thighs that I am not trying to show off to the world. Second, why is there nothing between the really short shorts and the bermuda shorts? And finally, why is it so hard to find shorts past size 8? Because fat people shouldn't wear shorts? Well then what do you suggest we wear during the spring/summer?!!

And that's just the shorts. Last weekend, when it was 90 outside and there was a frat party that night, I was faced with a whole new dilemma. What on earth do I wear to some random frat party when A) it's 90 outside even at night and B) this means all the other girls are wearing something itty bitty which is what girls are expected to wear in this weather? This seriously caused me so much stress I considered multiple times not going and I may have shed a tear or two. (Not the first time this has happened.) This requires not only digging out my warm weather clothes that are safely tucked away, but also trying things on and facing the sad reality that half of it doesn't fit anymore.

Also, warm weather clothes are not exactly forgiving like winter clothes. They don't cover up the tummy that has expanded to the point that I look 8 months pregnant. They don't hide the FUPA. They don't hide my thunder thighs that rub together when I wear a dress or a skirt. (Side note, yes, putting deodorant there helps. But do you know how self defeating it feels to rub deodorant on your thighs? It's not exactly a confidence booster.) They don't hide my flabby arms that have taken a life of their own to the point where I can't wear sleeveless tops without being so insecure I can't think about anything else except how big my arms must look. They are forcing to me to face all my imperfections and I can't handle.

So, while some people want to stay inside and never leave the house during winter, I prefer to stay inside when it's warm. I don't want to have put on that sleveless top that shows my enormous arms. I don't want to have to rub deodorant on my thighs before leaving the house. Most of all, I don't want to face my body. I want to put on my sweatpants and big sweatshirt and get under the covers and hide. Hide from myself and hide from reality. So, you enjoy your warm weather. I'll be here. Counting the days until it is winter again...

I am linking up at Things I Can't Say today for Pour Your Heart Out.

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Make A Wish Monday: 4th Edition!

I haven't gotten a lot of feedback on this new addition to my blog, so I was hoping you all could answer my poll for me on my facebook page about "Make A Wish Monday". Comments are almost non-existent on these posts so I'm wondering if you're bored, or just don't know what to say. Please let me know (or just leave a comment here if you're not on facebook)

This weeks Make A Wish Story is all about the first ever wish! Last week, I told you about Christopher, who inspired the Make-A-Wish Foundation with his wish to become a police officer. Today, we learn about Frank "Bopsy" who was the very first wish kid! Bopsy was a 7 year old boy with leukemia and his dream was to be a firefighter.

The wish granting team got together with the Phoneix Fire Department to help Bopsy fufill this wish. The fire department made him his very own uniform, complete with a helmet and everything. They also brought him out to the fire station so he could join their ladder engine. The crew let him honk the horn and even use the 75 pound hose to soak some cars. At the end of the day, the firefighters pinned his official fire fighter's badge on his uniform, making Bopsy the city's first honorary firefighter.

Bopsy putting his new firefighting skills to work! (The website had small, hard to see pictures. Sorry for the bad quality)
Bopsy's wish journey was for from over, however. The media picked up Bopsy's story, and suddenly there was on out pour of people who wanted to help lift this little boys spirits. A generous couple, Bob and Chris Pearce, owned and piloted hot air balloons so they took Bopsy on a hot air balloon ride to see Phoenix from the sky!
Then, it got even better! Disneyland created a special day just for Bopsy complete with private tours, meals, gifts and more. This began the relationship with Disney and the Make-A-Wish Foundation. Today, Disney is still one Make-A-Wish's biggest supporters.

Bopsy  and Goofy
 Bopsy had to go back to the hospital after his trip to Disney, but there was one last surprise for him. Five of his fellow firefighters had climbed up to his 3rd floor window using their truck ladder to come spend time with Bopsy. He shared laughs and fun with them before they left and he went back to sleep. That night, Bopsy passed away, but thanks to the Make-A-Wish Foundation, he died happier than ever.

Don't forget that World Wish Day is April 29. This would be a great day to support the Make-A-Wish Foundation with a donation or by spreading the word about their work.

*All images and content came from the Make-A-Wish Foundation website.*

I don't know if I even need to say this, but I volunteered to write about the Make-A-Wish Foundation. I am in no way being compensated or getting special recognition for this. I just fully support their mission and am doing my part by spreading the word.

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