So It's just one of those days. You know when you just feel down and don't feel like talking about it, at least not with the people your with?? Well, today is that day for me. I'm just so bummed and I'm just feeling like bored with my life. To all of you busy mom's out there, I know this doesn't sound like much of a problem... but to me, it is. I am in the last 2 months before college... this should be the time of my life. but its just... not. It's uneventful, boring, and lonely. There, I said it, I am lonely. Sure I guess I have friends. But I kind of suck w/ friendships and tend to get attached to one friend and spend most of my time with that person. Some people may call this a best friend- and I normally do. But lately, actually about 50% of the time, the friendship just feels empty. My life just feels empty... like I'm constantly searching for that one thing that will finally make me happy. The problem is, i don't know what that thing is. I just feel unhappy a lot, and maybe I'm being dramatic because it's one of those days, but its how i feel at the moment. So what's bothering me today is the fact that I was looking forward to this weekend for along time- because my parents are out of town and I am on my own. I imagined having friends over, partying, staying out late; its the freedom I am always searching for. However, it has turned out to be a total bust. 2 nights in a row now- nights, where I happen to have an entire house to myself to do whatever I want- I have been home alone... in my sweats watching movies ... alone. I hate that word... alone. It just makes me sad. I love people- I am a people person. I love being with friends and having a good time w/ people. Sometimes it's nice to be alone... but not in situations like this. I'm just missing that one person that I can call and he/she will sit on the couch and be bored w/ me, or even better take me out and tell me "you are not sitting here alone on a Friday or Saturday night." But I don't.. my so-called "Best friend" is completely obsessed with her boyfriend, and suddenly it went from being a trio (the 3 of us used to always hang out- pretty much every night) to them embracing their independence, and leaving me... alone. And unfortunately, I spent so much time with them in the past, that I kind of let my other friendships fall through the cracks. So I guess the joke is on me. I just don't know what my problem is, why I get so wrapped up into one person who doesn't make me happy 50% of the time. I'm just so afraid of being alone.. and that's exactly how I ended up anyway. I don't know, I'm just gonna drown my sorrows and self-pity.... wish me luck.
I am so happy I have a blog now so I can do fun little activities like this!!!
thanks to Jessica @ Farm Fresh for sponsoring this!!
So here goes:
1st up: Curb Appeal- ok please keep in mind that I live w/ my parents b/c i'm only 18 so this is by no means "my house" but its the only house I have!
I have to say.. it's a pretty great place to live!
next: My junk drawer. I used to have several, but I recently did like a total make over to my room, so most of the junk drawer's were cleaned out... however this one managed to survive!
I never realized how much junk there was in my "junk drawer" until I went to take pix and found cigarettes (no idea where those came from- I don't smoke), A random Psalm (from our Senior retreat I think??), Pop-tarts (I seriously wonder how old those are).. crazy stuff!!
Next: From whence I blog
Pretty much all of my blogging is done from my work. Now this may sound bad, but I answer phones at the front desk during the day at my Dad's company, and when the phones aren't ringing, I pretty much have nothing else to do except surf the web (which is exactly how I came across all the blogs I linked to, and became inspired to start my own!!)
You can see the two screens, the one on the right is used for answering the phones- so I actually do work!
Here is a view of my desk area from the front:
Next, my favorite jewelry (I love this topic!!)
So it's not the best picture, sorry I'm not the best photographer. Anyway, this is my Tiffany & Co. Necklace my parents gave me for my 18th birthday. My dad picked it out himself, and it's one of many beautiful pieces of Tiffany jewelry I own, so it was definitely hard to choose! But this necklace is really special to me, and I wear it everywhere so I couldn't resist choosing it.
And finally, my best feature!
Ok, so I wanted my best feature to be my eyes, but when I took this picture and tried to zoom in on just my eyes, it wouldn't save like that, So I'm scratching that and going with my smile because I have to say, this picture shows my smile at it's best and most genuine.
So, I am so glad to have been a part of this awesome idea!! So make sure you check it the rest of the It's Real Life posts!
I just wanna cry rite now. This is y I need a blog so wen I'm freaking out I can express my feelings in a private way. Well technically public, but private from my friends. So I'm not technically in high school anymore, so I can't figure out why the drama seems to be following me... I'll give u the short version b/c I typed the whole story in another post, and it was just too long. So here's the short version: girl meets girl. Girls become best friends. 2 yrs later, boy enters. Girl 1 and boy date for a yr- a very bad relationship w/ several break ups in the year (think Carrie & Big on SATC). Then, boy kisses girl 2 behind girl 1's back. Girl 2 feels bad, tells Girl 1 the truth, but somehow boy and girl work it out and stay together. Then, like a month later Girl decides she's not over the kiss and hates both girl 2 and boy. so.... that's that. Should girl 2 have kept quiet? She was trying to protect Girl 1 from getting hurt... SO back to high school drama (well that was drama but still) I just don't get it. Y does there have to be so much of it all the time! PLease someone tell me college is not like this... for the past year @ least I have been feeling like I'm stuck on some show like Laguna Beach w/ a twist... i just can't wait to get away from all this drama. And i'm praying college is not like this!!!!!
Posted by Patrice at 3:21 PM
I just wanna give a shout out to the people I linked to... (see right) I don't have friends that blog, and I realize most of the women I linked to are posting about their children and husbands, which I love, but can't really relate to... and it's definitely not anything like my blog. But I was just moved by their stories and loved their pictures of their adorable kids, so I figured why not link ?! It's not like anyone actually reads this blog anyway... haha So I'm really excited to be on the blogging network and hopefully I'll make some friends! Happy Blogging...
Yay! So this is something I have wanted to do for along time because I love to write and blogging is something that has always interested me. Anyway, I figured what better time to start then now, as I start my journey from being a girl to a woman... in other words this is my last summer before I start college and I want to use this blog to express this as it is an important milestone in my life. So even if no one reads this blog, its a place to express my inner thoughts and feelings! I will try my best not to make it boring for anyone that actually does read it...