A Personal Ad

So in case you didn't know I am single, really really single as in the only males I ever talk to are someone elses boyfriend, guys that may or may not be gay, and guys that I could never see as anything more than platonic. So, in light of all this I have decided to take out a personal ad on my blog. I know what you're thinking... lame, and who meets anyone on the internet?! But it's not what you think...

My personal ad I'm taking out here on my blog is NOT for a guy. No it is not for a girl either... well at least not in a romantic way. I am taking out an ad for some single friends. I need other single girls to hang out when everyone else is with their boyfriends. It's pretty annoying when you're just looking for some company and everyone is occupied with boys. What ever happened to quality girl time? What ever happened to "F**k guys, I just wanna dance!" (That's a Dane Cook reference in case you didn't catch it!)

So, I'm seeking a college age, preferably straight just so there's no confusion, female, any size any color whatever. The only qualification is that you are completely single! And you want to hang out... I need some quality girl time. And no, listening to you talk about your boyfriend and how great he is or how great the sex is doesn't count! It would help if we could hang out IRL but, you know, blog friends/ twitter friends are welcome too!

So if you think you fit the description, let me know! You'd think that in a house full of 69 girls I could probably find some single friends, but all my good friends seem to have been taken by the relationship bug and suddenly don't have time for anything else anymore. Which is the reason for this ad! Do you need a personal ad for something, too?! Speak your peace and those of us in need can unite!!

An Open Letter....

Dear Ass hole, Yes... you. You know who you are. Look there are just some things that I would like to say to you. I'm going to try to be as nice honest as possible. You are attractive... very attractive. I think you know that. I am attracted to you. This doesn't mean that I'm obsessed with you or want a relationship with you. However, when a girl gives you her number and you promise to call her... the least you can do is text her back! Is that so hard? I know you can do it... I question your intelligence sometimes when you talk because you tend to just repeat the same phrases over and over like "woahh all the sudden..." What does that even mean!?!?!? I know you are capable of sending a freaking text message, though. I wanted to believe you that you were a nice guy. Everyone told me you were an ass hole, and you know what, you proved them right! So congratulations! You are an ass!!! You're a good kisser, yes. A good person? NO. Apparently not! Everyone told me you told people you wanted nothing to do with me... so why did you kiss me not one night, not even two nights but on three different occasions?! And don't even think about blaming the alcohol. That is a crap excuse! You know what I wanna know? What makes you so much better than me? What makes me so unimportant to you that I'm not even worthy of a text message back? I'm good enough for you to fool around with multiple times but you can't send me a freakin' text message? What is it? How do you decide whose good enough and whose not? Is it like Project Runway: "One day you're in & the next day you're out"? Is that your motto as well? Apparently... You know what? Thank you for showing your true colors so I can move on... next time you just want a make out buddy stay away from me... & my roommate for that matter! Oh yeah & F**k you! (No, not literally.)

Reason # 10000 Why Boys Suck!

Today I was reminded of why I hate this whole girl/guy I like you, do you like me, lets date, lets not whole mess... you know what I'm talking about!? Lately I have started to feel like I am finally over my ex. We can talk and it's not awkward, we laugh at each other's jokes; we are friends, finally I think. So, in the spirit of moving on, I asked a guy if he wanted to watch a movie tonight with me. I don't even know if I have feelings for him or anything, but he expressed his feelings to me a couple times already, and I decided I should give him a chance. Well, his response to watching a movie with me? "Maybe." Um... k? Way to be vague! I'm so glad I put myself out there and asked you to do something when you're the one telling me you like me, and I never hear from you! It's not a big deal, I'm not gonna be crushed or anything if we don't hang out, but it just reminded me of why I hate dealing with boys. They tell you they like you, but they never make a freakin effort to talk to you! I understand being shy, but it's not that hard to text someone... especially if someone asked you to hang out, you said maybe and you said you would let me know. Then I don't hear from you all day. What is that about!? I also wait how boys can turn you into something so pathetic! The one thing I hated about being with my ex was waiting around for him to text me. I would wake up in the morning and wonder when he would text me, or why he hasn't yet. It's stupid! I don't need to live my life around someone else's schedule! Also apparently when guys say one thing when they're drunk they may or may not mean it when their sober (i.e. I like you a lot). I hate that. Basically right now I just hate boys.

Things that don't help when going through a break up

I promise my blog is not being taken over by me feeling sorry for myself over the whole break up thing... however in my defense it has only been a week, and it's my blog I should be able to write whats on my mind, and whether I like it or not, this is on my mind. Anyway, lately I've been getting a lot of advice and sympathy going through this whole thing. Some people are really helpful, and my friends are an amazing support system. I'm lucky to be in a house full of people who really care. However, sometimes when people think they are helping they just aren't. Here's some of the not-so-helpful-but-trying-to-be comments that I've gotten lately:

• There are plenty of fish in the sea- While this may be true, yes. 1. It's a small school & a small town, so I kind of feel like my options are limited, and 2. That's not really what I want to here right now.
• You can do so much better- again, this may be true, but again, not what I want to hear right now. It honestly just pisses me off coming from friends because when we were together, we were "so cute" and he's "such a good guy" and now all the sudden he's not good enough? I can understand if he was a jerk about the break up, but as I said, he wasn't.
• You can't keep doing this to yourself, stop thinking about it all- I got this as I was crying... like it was my fault I was upset, like I want to feel like total crap! Like I want to obsessively think about everything, to the point where it does make me want to cry? No, but I really can't help it. Like I said it's still so new, and it still hurts, so sometimes I cry... it's all part of the process.
• Just give it time, time heals everything- I know this can actually be really good advice, but again, not so much what I want to hear. I don't want to give it time! I just want to fast forward through the "time" and get to a point where its not awkward for us to be friends.
• Do you really think you can be friends, that never works- um yes. I do. and thanks for the voted confidence... real nice!
• He's a jerk- this kind of goes a long with the whole you can do better thing... 1st of all he had the opportunity to be a jerk about it and he wasn't, and 2nd he really isn't a jerk, and he definitely wasn't a jerk when we were together, so the fact that we broke up doesn't make him a jerk because he broke up because he cares.

I know people mean well, and I know from experience its hard to know what to say to someone going through a break up. I just had to vent a little. Also, on the subject of advice... one of my guy friends just started a blog!!! I'm so excited, it's going to be like an advice blog, so if you want to ask him any questions, e-mail him at bryansadvice at gmail dot com, and check it out his blog (maybe give it a little while so he can get a post up!)

Sad Day

Just in time for the holiday season, sad news :( My boyfriend and I broke up last night... he broke up with me. He was nice about it, and he didn't want to have to end things... but he has a lot going on and needs to get his life together before he can be in a relationship. I understand, I do, but it hurts... a lot. I wish there was a way that he could get his life together and still keep me in his life as his girlfriend, but it doesn't look like there is a way for that to work right now. I am so lucky to be surrounded by amazing friends, who all took care of me last night. I know this is the best thing right now, and I'm really glad that he cares about me enough not to drag me on when he doesn't feel like he can be 100% committed to this relationship. He has a lot going on in his life, and he felt like our relationship was possibly just another way for him to escape. I know he needs to get his life together, and we both said that it's possible there is a future, but for now he has to figure some stuff out. I just can't stop blaming myself... I know it's not my fault, it's no one's fault really, but I feel like there is more I could've done, I should've been there for him more... there are just so many regrets. If there is such a thing as a good time to break up, I guess that now is a good time because I'm leaving tomorrow to go home for thanksgiving, so we'll get a break from each other and we'll be able to think about things. It sucks. There's really no other way to say it. It really sucks. I miss him. I wish it didn't have to be like this. The worst part is, I had no idea. I did not see this coming at all, and that sucks even more. I know I'll be okay, and eventually when I'm ready I'll be his friend because he needs friends in his life right now, and maybe someday, when the timing is right, we can be together. Who knows what the future holds... all I know is I need to stop focusing on the past, and focus on the positive things. It's just gonna be a really hard couple of days...