A Personal Ad

So in case you didn't know I am single, really really single as in the only males I ever talk to are someone elses boyfriend, guys that may or may not be gay, and guys that I could never see as anything more than platonic. So, in light of all this I have decided to take out a personal ad on my blog. I know what you're thinking... lame, and who meets anyone on the internet?! But it's not what you think...

My personal ad I'm taking out here on my blog is NOT for a guy. No it is not for a girl either... well at least not in a romantic way. I am taking out an ad for some single friends. I need other single girls to hang out when everyone else is with their boyfriends. It's pretty annoying when you're just looking for some company and everyone is occupied with boys. What ever happened to quality girl time? What ever happened to "F**k guys, I just wanna dance!" (That's a Dane Cook reference in case you didn't catch it!)

So, I'm seeking a college age, preferably straight just so there's no confusion, female, any size any color whatever. The only qualification is that you are completely single! And you want to hang out... I need some quality girl time. And no, listening to you talk about your boyfriend and how great he is or how great the sex is doesn't count! It would help if we could hang out IRL but, you know, blog friends/ twitter friends are welcome too!

So if you think you fit the description, let me know! You'd think that in a house full of 69 girls I could probably find some single friends, but all my good friends seem to have been taken by the relationship bug and suddenly don't have time for anything else anymore. Which is the reason for this ad! Do you need a personal ad for something, too?! Speak your peace and those of us in need can unite!!

An Open Letter....

Dear Ass hole, Yes... you. You know who you are. Look there are just some things that I would like to say to you. I'm going to try to be as nice honest as possible. You are attractive... very attractive. I think you know that. I am attracted to you. This doesn't mean that I'm obsessed with you or want a relationship with you. However, when a girl gives you her number and you promise to call her... the least you can do is text her back! Is that so hard? I know you can do it... I question your intelligence sometimes when you talk because you tend to just repeat the same phrases over and over like "woahh all the sudden..." What does that even mean!?!?!? I know you are capable of sending a freaking text message, though. I wanted to believe you that you were a nice guy. Everyone told me you were an ass hole, and you know what, you proved them right! So congratulations! You are an ass!!! You're a good kisser, yes. A good person? NO. Apparently not! Everyone told me you told people you wanted nothing to do with me... so why did you kiss me not one night, not even two nights but on three different occasions?! And don't even think about blaming the alcohol. That is a crap excuse! You know what I wanna know? What makes you so much better than me? What makes me so unimportant to you that I'm not even worthy of a text message back? I'm good enough for you to fool around with multiple times but you can't send me a freakin' text message? What is it? How do you decide whose good enough and whose not? Is it like Project Runway: "One day you're in & the next day you're out"? Is that your motto as well? Apparently... You know what? Thank you for showing your true colors so I can move on... next time you just want a make out buddy stay away from me... & my roommate for that matter! Oh yeah & F**k you! (No, not literally.)

Sad Day

Just in time for the holiday season, sad news :( My boyfriend and I broke up last night... he broke up with me. He was nice about it, and he didn't want to have to end things... but he has a lot going on and needs to get his life together before he can be in a relationship. I understand, I do, but it hurts... a lot. I wish there was a way that he could get his life together and still keep me in his life as his girlfriend, but it doesn't look like there is a way for that to work right now. I am so lucky to be surrounded by amazing friends, who all took care of me last night. I know this is the best thing right now, and I'm really glad that he cares about me enough not to drag me on when he doesn't feel like he can be 100% committed to this relationship. He has a lot going on in his life, and he felt like our relationship was possibly just another way for him to escape. I know he needs to get his life together, and we both said that it's possible there is a future, but for now he has to figure some stuff out. I just can't stop blaming myself... I know it's not my fault, it's no one's fault really, but I feel like there is more I could've done, I should've been there for him more... there are just so many regrets. If there is such a thing as a good time to break up, I guess that now is a good time because I'm leaving tomorrow to go home for thanksgiving, so we'll get a break from each other and we'll be able to think about things. It sucks. There's really no other way to say it. It really sucks. I miss him. I wish it didn't have to be like this. The worst part is, I had no idea. I did not see this coming at all, and that sucks even more. I know I'll be okay, and eventually when I'm ready I'll be his friend because he needs friends in his life right now, and maybe someday, when the timing is right, we can be together. Who knows what the future holds... all I know is I need to stop focusing on the past, and focus on the positive things. It's just gonna be a really hard couple of days...

How Much is too Much?

ok so the general concencus on this was to post it... so I'm going out of my comfort zone and hoping no one I know IRL actually reads this! Well actually just the person this is about.. but whatever! So I've said before that I pride myself on being a good friend. I go above and beyond, and I know that sometimes I do too much, but I really do enjoy it. I think. But sometimes it can be discouraging, and it can start to feel like you're doing all of this for nothing, and what are you getting in return. This is the situation I'm in now. There's this boy. (That's how it always starts right?!) He may or may not have been mentioned on here before..) Well this is how it went... we started talking, I liked him, thought maybe he liked me, then he made it perfectly clear he's just not that into me, and wants to be friends. Of course, because I'm every one's friend, right? Perfect. So I gave it some time, and didn't talk to him for awhile. Then I decided we should be friends because I like him as a person and although part of me wants to be more than friends, I am willing to sacrifice my feelings to at least get to hang out with him and talk to him, because I enjoy that. Well, so far every time we've hung out it's been me helping him write papers for school. Which is fine, I like helping people, and I'm happy to do it since I happen to be a decent writer and it's a talent most people don't share. In his defense, he works 5 days out of the week and absurd hours, like overnight, then goes to classes during the day and sleeps when/if he can. So, although we're only hanging out when we're working on his papers, it's kind of the only time he has to hang out, so it's like killing 2 birds with 1 stone. However, I have to wonder. How much is too much? I have been going more than out of my way to help him. So out of my way that I slept over in his dorm room in order to help him with his paper, make sure he woke up to finish, etc. I wake him up for class in the mornings, I help him with his papers, I help him with basically whatever I can. I feel like I'm part nanny, part mom and part girlfriend. Except I'm none of those. I enjoy his company. I enjoy hanging out with him. But people are concerned... my friends say I'm going to get hurt. I know he doesn't like me like that, and I guess I accept that. But if I'm being completely honest, a part of me wants more. I kind of feel like I'm getting the raw end of the deal... like he gets my help basically whenever he needs/wants it, and there's no strings attached. Yes, I like hanging out with him. But I don't want to only hang out because he needs help. I don't know whenever I think/talk about it I just end up going in circles. I don't want to stop hanging out with him. I know he needs help, and for whatever reason I feel responsible to help him. But I'm afraid I'm gonna get hurt. I already got hurt by him once, after the whole I don't like you speech, but I got over it, and I decided to be friends because I really enjoy his company and talking to him. I guess I'm just wondering how much is too much? How much can I do without really getting anything in return other than a thank you and maybe a hug? It's not like I want sex. I don't. I don't want it to sound like that. I don't know what I want... I'm confused, and I'm scared of getting hurt. I don't know what to do. I know it's not going to turn out the way I want to... I can't make him want to be with me if he doesn't.

My girl/guy theory

So I was talking to this guy the other day, and he said something that stuck with me for awhile because I never really thought about it until now. He told me that he had girl problems, blah blah, and the one thing he said that stuck with me ever since (well it's only been like a little over a week, but still) is "Nice guys always finish last". Now I try to be an optimist (although my friends laughed hysterically when I called myself "positive Patrice" the other day so I guess I'm not very successful at it), so I immediately told him he was wrong! I told him I would much rather date/talk to a sweet guy than some jerk who treats me like nothing! He told me I was rare. I thought this was a very depressing way of looking at things! I guess I've heard that some girls like bad boys or whatever, but still! I guess I buy into the whole hard-to-get thing to a certain extent, because honestly it does kind of make me want them more, but as far as dating I would much rather date a sweet guy and not a jerk! Well, after a lot of thinking I have decided that nice girls finish last, too. So I guess I am cynical and whatever, but it's my theory and I'm sticking to it! For as long as I can remember, ever since I've had crushes on guys, I have always gotten the friend line: "you're a great friend... but I just don't see you as my girlfriend." Now, I pride myself on being a good friend. I will go above and beyond to make sure I am the best friend I can possibly be, so I am glad people recognize that I'm a good friend. However, I don't want to be every one's friend. I want to be someones girlfriend, too. Why is it that because I'm nice and because I'm a good friend, that makes me like un-dateable or something? So if I were a bitch you would want me to be your girlfriend is that it? If I treated you like nothing, would you like that? I doubt it. So what's the compromise? Hot sometimes, cold other times? I don't like playing games. I want to be myself, and some guy should like me for that. But apparently that's not good enough. My non-skinny, average looking at best, nice self is not what guys want. So here's my theory with the help of my friend John*: Nice guys and girls apparently always finish last. *Names have been changed to protect the innocent (well I wouldn't really call him innocent but whatever)