Not Me Monday! (6th Edition)

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week. Ok, so I definitely did not skip Not Me Monday like a million Monday's in a row, because I started doing my funny comments on Sunday/Monday, and then KMBFAG on Monday's, and get too overwhelmed to post that many things in 1/2 days! This week, I definitely did not completely ruin my diet... I did not indulge in cookies, brownies, cake, candy, etc. that were given to my sorority on "suck up day" for our philanthropy week. I am NOT scared at all to read what the scale says today... I also did not work out only once or twice in the past week... I certainly would work out more than that to make up for all the sweets, right? Not me! I did not watch the Oscars only to join in the twitter party even though I hadn't seen any of the movies nominated. I also did not ask stupid questions like "What movie did he win for?". Not me, I'm always caught up on that stuff! I did not wake up really sick Saturday morning due to the events of the previous night. I did not throw up all over my sandwhich I was attempting to eat! I also did not get sick while we had guys from one of the fraternities over for brunch. (Luckily in the other room). I did not recover after a few hours, and decide I was ready to go out that night! Not me... I did not call my mom because my debit card was being declined at Subway when I tried to buy lunch. She did not put money in my account, and tell me to make it last until the end of the month. I did not blow it all in one day... thank you Wal-Mart! Not me, I'm much better with money than that! I did not contact one of my favorite college blog sites about potentially writing for them. I did not freak out when they wanted a writing sample, something other than this blog, and decide maybe I couldn't do it after all! Not me, I have more faith in myself than that! I did not stay up really late reading blogs and catching up on stuff last night... I know better than to stay up late!

Funny Comments #5!

Yay this is probably my favorite post all week! I am still in search of a button for this, if anyone feels like lending their creative talents, and also I feel this deserves a better name... something a little more creative than funny comments... something button-worthy! Just a couple thoughts I had were That's What They Said (like that's what she said, but what they said get it!? haha) or Say What!? But I am totally open to suggestions! Thanks for the help! Now, moving on to this weeks funny quotes: "We learned about anthrax in biology today, and let me just tell you, if you get anthrax and you open it, it can go in the ventilation systems of buildings and everything!" "What's your point..?" "Stay away from buildings!" "I made out with 3 guys in one night!" "Yeah, but that's not really slutty, making out is like a handshake these days!" (random siren goes off outside) "ahh we're gonna die!" "I love how you say that without even moving... we might die, but at least we'll die checking our facebooks!" "You know why I ask what year people are? It's so I know how much longer I have to deal with them..." "I got an event invitation... in loving memory of (name).... did she die!?" "These allergy shots are so much work than alcohol... I feel stoned!" "I think my mouth has brain freeze. I can't even talk!" "I'm losing my voice.. great! Maybe boys will find it sexy! (in a hoarse voice) hey! U wanna come home with me!?" "My dad told me 'if I wasn't your dad I would date you'... is that weird!?" "I feel like you should calm down... this is beer pong, not the Olympics!" "Yes it is... it's like the Olympics... it's the beerlympics!" As always feel free to add your own funny quotes from the week in the comments! Hope you enjoyed! :)

Beware of Creepy Bar Guys...

So this weekend was mine and my friends first experience at one of the bars in town, and let's just say it was a real good time! Anyway, as you may know, there is a certain crowd that hangs out at bars... college students (especially in a college town), townies (people who live in town that aren't college students, etc.), and then you usually get some creepers... If you don't know what a creeper is it's basically the same thing as a creep, it's just someone whose a little strange or creepy for whatever reason. Well, my friends and I (seeing as we're not 21) were getting some guys to buy us drinks and stuff. Well my friend had a few too many drinks, and started getting really friendly with some of the guys, 1 who happened to be a little extra creepy! This guy was really nice all night, buying us shots, buying us drinks, etc, and he seemed friendly enough, so we didn't really think anything of it. Then, my friend went to go talk to him later and asked him to get her another drink, to which he replied she should give him a hickey... creepy right!? Well, all in the name of getting another drink, my really drunk slightly intoxicated friend obliged.. and ended up making out with him, and dancing with him. Later, after we left the bar and went to our favorite frat house, my friend started getting phone calls and text messages from this guy. This is where he enters creeper status; he would not leave her alone! He left her five voice mails making sure she got home okay, promising to be "romantic", and offering to come pick her up so she could come hang out, telling her "I thought we hit it off pretty well... call me back so we can hang out," telling her "I hoped we could finish what we started which was actually kinda hot and kinda sexy...", "I like you a lot, I was hoping we could get back together," and more! Then there were the text messages... even more creepy than the voice mails! In an attempt to get him to stop calling her, she texted him 1st, and the conversation went like this: (I inserted some timestamps randomly to give you an idea of how long this went on for!) (2:41 AM) friend: Hey I made it home ok, thanks for checking (read: stop calling me!) creeper: Please come over you gave me a hickey (ew) friend: haha maybe later (not!) creeper: maybe later what? (get a clue, buddy...) friend: maybe later I'll come over (nope..) creeper: Is this (insert friends name here)? (duhh...) friend: yes creeper: who is this? (wtf did she not just tell you its her!?) friend: (insert name here) creeper: Where you at? friend: At the frat house creeper: can i come pick you up? (umm no!) friend: Y? creeper: you don't want me to pick you up? (No, she doesn't!) (3:15 AM) creeper: please let me come pick you up (stop begging...) creeper: You don't remember us kissing? (no she doesn't actually... that's what happens when you're really drunk!) friend: I do remember I'll get home safe don't worry (read: GO AWAY!) creeper: Please let me pick you up (3:55 AM) creeper: Please come over (the answer is still no) creeper: We should go out. You gave me a hickey. (yes, you mentioned that in every voicemail) creeper: I really want to go on a date with you. (tough luck) (4:24 AM) creeper: Please call me tomorrow. I really want to see you. creeper: Please come over now and we can finish what we started (nothing was started!) creeper: You know I am still crazy about you (Still, as in 6 hours after we met? Wow talk about commitment..) Then the next day, he was still upset, my friend got this text message the following afternoon: creeper: You left me at the bar with a hickey and a hard on. That was not fair. (tough luck buddy!) The creepiest part? We later identified this creeper as an alum of one of the frat houses on campus... they call him "Gramps".... He's 37! Wtf does a 37 year old want with a college freshman!? EW!

Kissing My Big Fat Blog Ass Goodbye: Week 2!

So this was week two or technically week one since I didn't start until this past week! I think I did a pretty good job this week, and my friend told me she can see in my face it looks like I lost weight! I worked out every day this week except Saturday and Sunday because, as my one of my friends put it "those are days to recover from the night before!" I made it a goal to eat healthy, and I think I did pretty well. I made it a point to incorporate more fresh fruit into my diet, and was very conscious of what I was eating. I for the most part avoided sweets, except for one night which I call my "off night." Wednesday night we had a "Boo Boys Boo party"... basically we just had a lot of junk food that had cute names that basically said eff boys in not so many words! I ate a lot more junk food than I should have, but that was my one slip up for the week. Unless you count all the alcohol I had this weekend- my resolution to only drink light beer was a good one, but I failed to consider all the other types of drinks I tend to consume... yummy, fruity one's that probably have 1,000 calories each. So, I'll have to watch my intake of those & I suppose stick to gold 'ole light beer... yum (not). My workouts were all really good this week... I joined the Y like I said I would, and I'm really happy with my decision to do that. Our fitness center at school is really small, and always crammed with athletes, and there's something about working out next to athletes that makes you want to run as far away from the gym as possible and count that as your work out! So the Y is a much better fit for me! I started out just doing the treadmill for Cardio, but by the end of the week I decided to switch it up & try different machines... which seriously kicked my ass! Why is everything else so much harder than the treadmill!? Weird! I tried to get in some weights, too, but I didn't do it everyday. Alright... moment of truth. Did I lose any weight!? Here's the thing... I don't have a scale, so I only weigh myself at the gym, usually after my workouts in case the number is lower after burning some calories! Well, the Y has 2 scales (1 I call the "dr.'s office scale" where you have to balance it & everything, then a digital one). We all know digital ones can sometimes be off (or am i making that up?!), so I decided to weigh myself on both... everytime. So at the beginning of the week, according to the "Dr.'s office scale" I weighed 174 (I think), but according to the digital scale I weighed 170. Today I weighed 169 on both scales... so I'm going to go out on a limb (maybe) and go with the "Dr.'s office scale" for both weights. Which means... I lost 5 lbs this week!! If this is in fact true (assuming I remember correctly what the scale said at the beginning of the week, and assuming I did my math correctly on the scale today), I met my goal for the week, plus 2 lbs! I'm really proud of myself for sticking with my workouts, and eating healthy! It's so hard to say "no" to fast food, and all the sweets that pop up occasionally, but I did it (for the most part) and I dragged my butt to the gym & worked out hard, and you know what!? It felt really good! :) Here's what the digital scale read today:So, I'm hoping I didn't make up the fact that I lost weight, and that the "Dr.'s office scale" really did say 174 at the beginning of the week... I know it said more than the digital one, so I'm trusting it! I think I'll stick to one scale this week... Goals for this week:

• Work out harder, and longer
• more weights- I didn't always do this, and I want to lose weight, but get toned, too, so I need to do some weight lifting as well as cardio.
• Stay away from the junk food... it's so hard! Stupid valentine's day- now it's everywhere!
• More water!
• Watch the fruity drink intake this weekend (probably good for more reasons than 1 if you know what I mean!)

If you want to join us in our quests to kiss our big fat blog asses goodbye, head to Tenakim's place & link up with us! p.s. Sorry it took me forever to get this post up... I was waiting to weigh myself at the gym, then I got distracted & never wrote my post until now!

Funny Comments #4!

Alright so before I go on with this weeks installment of the funny quotes I collected over the past week, I have a couple requests! First of all, I've decided to make this a weekly thing because I really enjoy keeping track of these & sharing them with y'all! However, I want to make it the best it can possibly be and for that to happen a couple things need to be changed. First of all Cammie suggested getting a button for this! I love this idea, but don't know how to make one! If anyone knows how to do this, and wants to make one for me I would love you forever! I would totally give you a shout out every week when I do this! :) Second of all, I feel this deserves a better name... something a little more creative than funny comments... something button-worthy! Just a couple thoughts I had were That's What They Said (like that's what she said, but what they said get it!? haha) or Say What!? But I am totally open to suggestions! Thanks for the help! Sorry for the novel! moving on to this weeks funny quotes: "I just bought my 1st Bible... I thought about going to the Church and telling them I don't have enough money for one, but I didn't want to get shocked by lightning or something" "I'm so drunk right now I just hit my head on the bathroom stall" "He called me a drunken whore! I am not a drunken whore! I may be drunk a lot, but I am not a whore!" "Why me? Why do I have to be sick!? I want to go out tonight! Why can't someone who doesn't go out get sick!?" "What do you call a fly without wings?" "I don't know what?" "It's not a joke! I'm asking! They call it a fly, but if it has no wings, it can't fly, so what do you call it!?" "I wish I had a figure like Boyance" "Who?" "You know, Boyance! She has the perfect body she's like skinny but with curves, I wanna look like that!" "Who are you talking about!?" "Boyance you know the chick that sings 'Put a Ring on it' or whatever..." "...um Beyonce?" "Yeah her!" Girl 1: "You look so hot! F**k me!" Girl 2: "What!!?" Girl 1: "OMG not like that... I meant f**k me like f**k my life!"

A Giveaway That's All About ME!!?

Who doesn't like talking about themselves? After all, that's like half of what we do on our blogs, right!? And even more than that who doesn't like winning things!? Especially a $250 Target gift card? If you don't want to win that, you're crazy (or just super generous & want me to win since you know I am a poor, broke college student!). Well, Auds at Barking Mad has combined all these things into 1! It's a giveaway where you mention your top 10 favorite blog posts so far, and then you could win a $250 Target gift card! Easy enough right? So in no particular order (Because I don't want to play favorites with my favorite posts) these are my top 10 favorite posts:

1. The Dangers of Beer Pong- Who knew Beer Pong could be such a dangerous event!?
2. Comfort Zones- the hard part about breaks from college and going home.
3. My 100th post- How could I leave this out!?
4. My dinner party- The last Mr. Linky thing I did w/ Auds, and I worked hard on it!
5. Things that don't help when going through a break up- some not-so helpful advice!
6. Why I Love Spam E-mail- hilarious spammers!
7. Fake Conversation With A Real Person ( 1 & 2)- I text random numbers back!
8. How Much is too much- the balance between being a nice person & doing too much
9. Letter to Blogger- I take this back, but at 1st I hated the "followers" application
10. My Weekly funny comments (technically this is 3 posts, but it's not cheating right!?)

So, there you have it! I hope you'll check out some of my older posts, I'm really proud of them! Can't wait to read your favorite posts! :) Just go link up with Auds, and you could win, but just remember me... poor, moneyless college student!

Fake Conversation with ANOTHER Real Person!

I'm not making this stuff up, I swear! I don't know how these people find me, but I'm so glad they do! So tonight I was minding my own business when I got a text from a number I didn't recognize. I thought about telling them it was the wrong number, but then I remembered last time I was in this situation, and how awesome it turned out! So I texted back, of course! It went like this! Random #: Hey fool it's Whitney* this is Dana's* number (Insert another random # here.. should I text them 2!?) Me: Thanks! What u doin? ( I was trying to talk ghetto since she called me fool!) W: Not much just chillin how bout ya? (Yes! They texted back... success!) Me: Same. What u doin 2nite? (Trying to make conversation... I forgot it was Wednesday & no one is really partying woops!) W: Nothin tonight ha but this weekend should be fun lol (woah... scandalous!) Me: Lol what's going down this weekend? (Give me some dirt!) W: hangin with the girls and valentines stuff ha you? (I still can't figure out if I'm supposed to be a guy or a girl...) Me: Nice! I don't know yet, I'm still figuring that out but definitely getting crunk! (party all the time! lol jk) W: haha awesome! (Lame answer!) Me: Lol u know it! Do you have a hot date for Valentines!? (trying to get some dirt!) W: Lol yeah my boyfriend ha what about you? (This is starting to sound like my last conversation with a random person) Me: Oh I didn't know you had a boyfriend! (Probably because I don't know you...) No just hangin with the girls probably (thanks for reminding me I have no freakin Valentine's day plans!) W: Lol yeah we just got back together and that's cool ha (ok quit laughing I know I'm pathetic & dateless it's not funny!) Me: Nice! What's his name? Yeah it should be fun (it will be, who needs dates!?) W: Willy* lol (lol Whitney & Willy... funny! too bad those aren't there real names) Me: Nice how did y'all meet!? W: In school like my sophomore year (boring! I've got to make this more interesting) Me: Wow that's awesome that's such a long time (I like how i'm just assuming that, she could be a junior I don't know if she's my age or not) W: I know right we actually didn't start going out til my junior year but that's still like two wholeee years lol (what's with all the e's? I get that its a long time...) Me: Wow that's a long time (I just said that, wtf?) Do y'all go 2 school 2gether? (trying to carry on the conversation) W: No he goes to Stonehaven* cuz his work is near there Me: Aw thats cool where r u going this year? (Stupid question!) W: Quad C.? (oh no she put a question mark! I should've know this... quick back track!) Me: oh lol I knew that my b! (play it cool...) Me: (she's not saying anything! I have to sabotage the relationship!) Sorry about that my friend took my phone (easy excuse right?) W: Sorry bout what (I didn't do anything wrong? what?) Me: lol not knowing where u went 2 school that was a stupid question (don't figure me out, don't do it!) W: oh lol i was did he really forget ha but its all good (I didn't quite follow but its all good, so thats good!) Me: lol yeah he's crazy but we should hang out sometime! (trying to change the subject from my epic screw up) W: lol fo sho ha (lol gangster talk again) Me: lol sweet! What r up 2!? I'm so bored! (im trying to make excuses for texting her constantly...) W: lol I'm actually about to hop in the shower ha so i have to go let ya go (bummer!) me: okay, talk to you later! :) I can't believe another random number texted me! I must have a really popular number or something! The funny thing is I think I was supposed to be a guy, but I had no idea until the end, I can't believe she didn't figure it out when I said I was hanging out with the girls! Maybe she thinks I'm a gay guy... who knows. But I'll definitely have to text them again, and maybe that other number....! Oh, the possibilities! *evil laugh*