Umm.. what ?!?!

So I may have mentioned a couple of times that I have been waiting... and waiting for some funny keywords that people use to get to my blog to show up on Google Analytics so I can write a post like all the great ones I've read from everyone else. (is it me or was that a major run on sentence? O well) Well, friends, family, aliens, others: the day has finally come! I have become a bit obsessed with my keywords, and so I had some spare time and decided to see what people have been searching to get to my blog these days. Here are the winners:

1. 60 something woman's blog- dear Google person, I sincerely hope when you say 60 something woman, you are NOT meaning 60 something in age. Perhaps you were looking for 60 or something different woman's blogs? I don't know, but I am nowhere near 60.
2. Google.com- Um.... who Google's google? And even if you're not using google but yahoo or msn or some other search engine... why on earth would you feel the need to search for google.com?? Also, you spent a long time on my blog after searching for google.com: 3 minutes! I'm curious, google googler (how do you like that?!) what on my blog intrigued you about google.com? Perhaps my love of google reader? or google analytics? Well I hope you found what you were looking for, but I'm guessing not.
3. English paper about a terrible day- Um... why would you write an English paper about a terrible day? I certainly haven't. That is what this blog is for. And yes I have certainly blogged about having a terrible day. But I don't think I've blogged about English papers? Although I did write an English paper about blogging. Not kidding!
4. One month of menus for a sorority house- yes, it is true I live in the sorority house. Alpha Chi Omega to be exact. However, I can not tell you anything about the menus for a sorority house. We eat at the cafeteria like everyone else. If it convinces you to go Greek I'll make something up: Monday- Filet Mignon Tues- Lobster Weds- Spaghetti. Ok, convinced? Good. Rush Alpha Chi Omega!
5. People writing- What exactly were you trying to get to by googling people writing? Yes, I write, especially on my blog. Do you have a blog, googler? You should. It's all the rage. And people write on them. It's like a big giant community of people writing! Yes, people writing, which apparently you're interested in, so go for it!
6. What to say to a girl not loving- Well, I am no expert, but I would say "Why are you not loving?" What not funny? I know. Let me try again... perhaps singing to her "Can you feel the love tonight?" yeah, I've got nothing.

Now for my favorites:

• "movie quote i'll give you three meals a day and you can sleep with me if you want to."- I'm sorry, what??! What kind of movie are you watching? It's true I did a post on movie quotes, but I don't recall offering to sleep with you... not to mention how do you even put those 2 together.. I'll feed you 3 meals a day- good, proper nutrition always important. You can sleep with me... woah! I'm sorry you can't sleep with me. I am not a pimp!
• The 4th hole on women- I don't even want to think about what this could mean. Please tell me you mean hole as in a piercing on your ear. I hope it's not something perverted. This sounds like some kind of sick game... like hey, see if you can find the 4th hole on women! Ya, we don't have holes. Ok well we have 1... oh my gosh off topic, moving on!

So, I hope you enjoyed. I guess I wouldn't necessarily call them funny, but they were at least somewhat entertaining right? Maybe it's just me being overly optimistic that people are actually searching something other than Not a Girl, Not yet a Woman to get my blog! Also, I'm not sure whether or not I am creeped out by the fact that several people specifically googled "Patrice William Woods Fulton" or some variation of that with my name, etc to get to my blog. I sincerely hope it's friends and family who are looking for my blog and not creepers...

My girl/guy theory

So I was talking to this guy the other day, and he said something that stuck with me for awhile because I never really thought about it until now. He told me that he had girl problems, blah blah, and the one thing he said that stuck with me ever since (well it's only been like a little over a week, but still) is "Nice guys always finish last". Now I try to be an optimist (although my friends laughed hysterically when I called myself "positive Patrice" the other day so I guess I'm not very successful at it), so I immediately told him he was wrong! I told him I would much rather date/talk to a sweet guy than some jerk who treats me like nothing! He told me I was rare. I thought this was a very depressing way of looking at things! I guess I've heard that some girls like bad boys or whatever, but still! I guess I buy into the whole hard-to-get thing to a certain extent, because honestly it does kind of make me want them more, but as far as dating I would much rather date a sweet guy and not a jerk! Well, after a lot of thinking I have decided that nice girls finish last, too. So I guess I am cynical and whatever, but it's my theory and I'm sticking to it! For as long as I can remember, ever since I've had crushes on guys, I have always gotten the friend line: "you're a great friend... but I just don't see you as my girlfriend." Now, I pride myself on being a good friend. I will go above and beyond to make sure I am the best friend I can possibly be, so I am glad people recognize that I'm a good friend. However, I don't want to be every one's friend. I want to be someones girlfriend, too. Why is it that because I'm nice and because I'm a good friend, that makes me like un-dateable or something? So if I were a bitch you would want me to be your girlfriend is that it? If I treated you like nothing, would you like that? I doubt it. So what's the compromise? Hot sometimes, cold other times? I don't like playing games. I want to be myself, and some guy should like me for that. But apparently that's not good enough. My non-skinny, average looking at best, nice self is not what guys want. So here's my theory with the help of my friend John*: Nice guys and girls apparently always finish last. *Names have been changed to protect the innocent (well I wouldn't really call him innocent but whatever)

To-Do Lists

So I mentioned I've been busy, but I told you I had a good reason, right? Well let me just tell you what my to-do list looks like. I'm doing 2 versions, a blog to-do list & a IRL to-do list! Blog to-do list: (not counting all the blog-reading I have to do, this is just what I have to write about on here) *This is in no specific order*

1. Being country-fied (Yes, I made that word up)- apparently since I'm from TX I need to be a country person. So my friends here at college are working on converting me.
2. IRL response to saying I'm a blogger- seriously it's hilarious some of the things I get!
3. Favorite things Swaps posts. Yes I did 2, and I'm the worst swap partner ever because its taking me so long to get my packages out!
4. Awards ceremony- way back in the day Chelle gave me an award and I never re-awarded it, and then yesterday Mrs. Newlywed gave me another award! I'm so excited! :)
5. My new girl/guy theory. It's deep... and slightly cynical.
6. My weekend.. great weekend!
7. Discover new blogs... I used to do this all the time because I had so much blog time over the summer, and now I rarely click links to new blogs because I can barely keep up with the blog friends I already have, but I really want to get back to it and see who else is out there in bloggy world!
8. Whatever else comes up that I need to talk about!

IRL to-do list:

1. class- I feel like I'm always in class! Well ok not really, but I can act like it, right?
2. send out Favorite things swap package
3. study for house test- we're having a house test in our sorority we basically have to know the history of our sorority. It's gonna be hard.
4. Homework. It never ends!
5. Socializing. I know, all the school stuff comes first but I need my social time too!
6. clean/decorate my room. It's a mess, clothes everywhere.
7. That's all I can come up w/ now, but I'm sure there's more.

So as you can see, I'm pretty busy. I know you get it, I just wanted to share what I'll be up to when I'm not here!

Top 5 Tuesday

Yay for the pretty new badge Krystyn made, I like it! So I know I've been absent here for almost a week, but I have good reassons! (kind of!), but i'll post on that later. Right now it's time for another edition of Top 5 Tuesday @ Dana's place! This weeks theme from Jen @ Momma Blogs Alot, is what you like most/least about where you currently live. So I can't decide whether to post about what I like most or what I like least, since I toyed with writing a post about the downs of living in the sorority house, but I think I'll go with what I like most, jsut to be positive!

1. I love it in Missouri becasue the weather is so nice. I wish it would hurry up and get cold, but we have had a few days of cold weather already, and that never happens this early in Dallas!
2. The best thing about living in the sorority house is there is always someone to talk to. When you're bored, just go down the hall and you will usually run into someone to talk to and stuff!
3. I love that it will snow here. I love cold weather. I love ugg boots and big sweaters and comfy, warm, sweat pants. I'm so excited that there is a real winter here, because in Dallas we didn't get a real winter.
4. I love living in the sorority house because it provides you with activities. I don't know what I would do for fun if I wasn't in a sorority!
5. I just love being at college over all!

So, that's my Top 5 Tuesday for this week, if you want to play make sure you head over to Dana's place and link up!

WWWAT- Beginnings & Endings

It's WWWAT time over at Rachel's place! If you're new to WWWAT, it's a monthly fotofest.. it's like Wordless Wednesday except with a twist... you can be as wordy as you want and there's a theme! So this weeks theme is Beginnings & Endings. How appropriate since this blog is about ending a chapter and opening a new one! So of course, my ending is graduating High School! Here are the pictures I could find from it: Me & some friends at Baccalaureate Mass. Then for my new beginning, since I don't really have any pictures of getting to college, I decided to pick Bid Day of my sorority (for those of you that aren't familiar with the whole sorority system, Bid Day is the day your chosen sorority gives you a bid, which means you are accepted to join that sorority.) At my school because it is so small, we get to move into the sorority house right away, so these are my pictures of Bid Day, the beginning of my new life! This is some of our new members (pledges). We were making the ΑΧΩ, (Alpha Chi Omega) symbols with our hands! This is our entire pledge class (except for 2 people who came later)! This is everyone, our entire house! There are like 60 something of us, I think?! Ha Finally, I know it's not the best picture, but this is the moment we all became sisters. This was outside on the lawn as soon as all the bids were handed out. This is our first family photo! Anyway, I hope you enjoyed my ending & beginning! If you wanna join, go over to Rachel @ American Mum Alien & link up! Happy WWWAT!

Not So Disappointing after all?

It has happened, friends! My blog has become something worth speaking of... Today I was on Google Reader (yes I know it's shocking!) and trying to catch up on all your posts, since I have 119 unread items currently, and it's probably already gone up while I've been posting this! But never mind that. That is not the important part. The part that is important is what caught my eye on the side of the page... something blue! A link... TO MY BLOG!!! Under Google Recommendations! I was so excited! So immediately I went to go check my stats, because of course, this must mean more people are coming to read my blog right?!? (Despite my lack of really great search terms) Wrong. Well, at least according to Google Analytics. But it's ok. I was keeping my hopes up. I was ready. I was prepared for as Wendi put it for my readership to triple. I had my tech guy on speed dial, just in case I got so many hits, I crashed the server. Until I read this. Apparently, not everyone's Google Reader Recommendations are the same. So does this mean I'm the only one who got recommended to my site. So, it's disappointing, obviously. I mean I was so ready and prepared, you know?! I can take it. I will be ok. Don't worry! I'll just go back to trying to figure out random search terms to get people to come to blog, oh wait that doesn't work either. Well, there's still hope. The day is not over, and I am still recommended by Google Reader... at least on my Google Reader page.

Disappointing Performance

So lately everyone has been posting these hilarious keyword posts, like the funniest keywords, according to Google Analytics that people Google to get their blogs. So, the first time I read one of these posts I immediately signed up for GA of course, because if you can't jump on blog bandwagons then what's the point right?! haha So, I occasionally check it to see how my site is doing, you know if I can be all like Sally Field and say "They like me, they really like me!" or just bust out in song like "Celebrate good times, come on!". [Why do I feel like all these references are before my time...?"] Anyway, sadly, I can't bust open the champagne sparkling cider just yet, because I have come to the conclusion that if someone were grading my blog, I would get a big fat "F" for a very disappointing performance.

Here are some facts about how popular my blog is:

• So there's that whole graph thing that tells you how many hits you get a day... and there was 1 day that was really high, so I was all excited like "Wow, I must have written something really good that day" yeah... not so much. It was August 22, and I was all "August 22? Wait.. that's when I got to school... did I post that day?" Turns out that's the day Rachel guest posted for me. 129 visits! I wish I was making that up, but I'm really not! I don't have a single post that got even half that! I should give you some kind of award for that, Rachel!
• The only keywords that lead to my site are pretty much a variation of my blog title- Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman. I mean throw in Britney spears before that, or background music, or even notes or spell it wrong like Ia'm not a girl...
• Ok. I lied I do have other keywords, I just didn't know where to find them.. but the disappointing performance still exists... because all but 1 keyword (which happens to be Alpha Chi Omega (my sorority) Fulton MO- very specific and I got a whole 4 visits from it!) have a 100% bounce rate... and their average time spent on my site?? 0:00 Nice.
• Also, not a single one of those keywords is funny in any way! Definitely not porn, or giant purple genitals, or "the thing"anything to do with boobs!
• My second highest day of most visits?? August 25... I didn't even post that day! So, more people come when I don't post than when I do? Hmm
• The award for second best guest post goes to MommaBlogsAlot for the most time spent on one page... the average time was 11 minutes reading your post! Wow!
• I hate complaining on here, because I don't want it to be like a pity party blog, but apparently people like it because my post from the other day when I was feeling down was the most popular so far! Woo hoo! I'll try to be in a bad mood more often... just kidding!
• 85.97% of my traffic... comes from referring sites. So, thank you to those of you who put me on your blog roll or linked to me in some way! At least you guys like me...

So, overall I would say the lesson of the day is get people who write kick ass blog posts to do it for you. Beg people to put you on their blogroll, since that's apparently the only way people come to your site. It's okay to have a pity party, people like pitying you!

And finally... write about crazy things like giant purple genitals (that one has stayed in my head forever) or boobs, and people will come.. maybe crazy people, but people!

**Disclaimer... this post is intended to be humorous, as in I'm poking fun at myself. It is not, I repeat NOT, a pity party. I love to blog & if people like me, great, if not that's ok too!