10.9.08

What is my deal

What's my deal lately? I just can't seem to shake this feeling of being sad... 

I don't know why, and it really makes me feel like such a baby. I just cant shake the feeling that I don't have friends here, or that I don't fit in. I don't know how to describe it, really. It's just that I feel like everyone likes each other better than they like me. Like there's always someone else they would rather be talking to when they're talking to me, or hanging out with when they're with me. It really makes me feel like I'm in middle school, but I can't help how I feel. 
I have always been a really insecure person; I have body image issues, and I don't always have the best choice in friends (although, ironically this friend & I have severed our differences, and she has been the one whose been there for me lately, and me for her, and I really think the distance made our friendship stronger, but that's another post for another day). I never feel like people like me. I don't know why. I guess I want so badly to fit in that I am paranoid, I really don't know... 
But I just feel like I'm getting the short end of the stick, like I really like everyone here, and they just tolerate me. It really makes me sad, because I want these people to be my best friends. And it could just be me over reacting, but I feel like I'm always the one seeking them out, and asking them to do stuff, inviting myself to hang out w/ them, and I don't want to have to do those things. Why doesn't anyone seek me out? 
I don't know if I'm being stupid, maybe. But either way, my feelings are hurt and I'm sad. Again

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9 comments:

Chelle said...

Oh, hon, I am sorry you are sad.

I know that it is hard to make new friends in a new place. It is hard.

I know you have your sorority friends, but are there any places that you can go to to meet other girls? Do you go to church? Are there any clubs on campus that interest you? I wish there was something that I could do to help you feel better!

Hang in there and if you ever need to talk or whatever, e-mail me and we'll chat, sweetie.

Big (((hugs)))

Jen E said...

I have always felt like this, even now out of college so it's kind of hard to give advice except that I think the feeling lessens the more you learn to love yourself. I know that sounds cheesy and obvious but really the more confident you are in yourself and the more you try to just live, the less you focus on "what do they REALLY think about me?" What do you think about yourself? Do you do your best in life and with how you treat others? Do you seek other people out when you are bored? Do you take an interest in others and the world around you?

And again - Get Involved, in any way you can. If you are feeling bored and lonely, go find something new to get passionate about.

Maybe?

Dana said...

I feel exactly the same way sometimes, and even with my own family I feel like I'm always the one to call them. I have figured out one thing though. I've always been the one to start a conversation. I've always been the one who calls my mom every other day or so. I've always been the one who moved away. I also know that my mom will call me if she doesn't hear from me. My sister usually calls me first, and not the other way around.
I also know that there are things about me that WILL make people seek me out. If they want to know certain things, they know exactly who to call. They do know. Sometimes it can be lonely, but if I just think about it usually it makes sense to me. Everyone has their little piece of the world, and sometimes everyone is wrapped up in their own world when you're not. There's way more, but I think I'll send it to you in an e-mail.

Mrs. Newlywed said...

Oh dear! Don't be sad. Get glad :)

I know how you feel. I went to college almost 10 hours away from my hometown, and I didn't know a single person. It took some getting adjusted, but I loved college. Just don't let this get to you.

If you want to hear some unsolicited advice regarding college/sorority adjustment email me.

misadventuresofanewlywed at gmail dot com

Krystyn said...

I'm sorry you are feeling hurt and sad. College is hard to adjust to...new friends, new place to live, everything. It really does get easier and you find your place.

I know going to the gym helped me out. There was always somebody there that had something in common.

HUGS!!!

amanda said...

oh friend, i totally remember this part of college. the first few weeks are such a huge transition. trust me. i cried for weeks.

it will get better - i promise.

i don't know how or why, but it just does :)

HappyHourSue said...

WE LOVE YOU!!!!!!!
Getting adjusted in college is so tough. I can remember my mom asking how I was and I was all"It's great! I love it!" but really I was miserable and scared and homesick.

The sorority will help a lot, cuz that's instant friends...are you living in the house next year? That changed everything for me.

Just be yourself - the true friends will come - it just take some "shifting and settling" time.

And you have us to tweet with or vent with. Hang in there - you're adorable. :)

The Pink Potpourri said...

oh how i've been down that road. it is not fun at all. sometimes we let those feelings overwhelm too much. You just have to gain your strength back, and instead of solely caring what others think of you, use that energy to invest into them. make efforts to be the one to invite others to things you're doing. send encouragement notes, etc. it seems pretty difficult to make a complete 180 of your sadness, but if you keep dwelling on it, it may take you down even further. don't worry, things will change!!!!

be sure to swing by my blog this weekend! i have an awesome givewaway. its a beautiful necklace!

Jamie said...

I've also been there...hang in there, it gets better. You learn a lot about yourself in college. It can be a real eye-opening experience and a real blessing. Don't compromise who YOU are...but just keep yourself open to the experiences around you. You'll find your groove.

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