3.2.10

Too Close to Home...

Sometimes in life no matter the situation, some things just hit a little too close "to home". It happens unexpectedly usually; in every day conversation, in class, at the grocery store. You don't know it's coming and the person you're talking to probably doesn't realize either. This happened to me today, and it was definitely unexpected and it was way too close to home.

Today started out like any other day; class, lunch, socialize, class. In my video production class today, people presented their projects they had made about a societal issue. Most were slideshows with pictures and music. The topics ranged from hockey to domestic violence to anorexia. And then... one of the hardest things I've had to sit through. A girl got up and started speaking about how her friend had a very rare form of cancer and was diagnosed when they were juniors in high school. She lost her battle. The slideshow was a tribute to this friend, and a tribute to trying to find a cure for cancer. As these images of bald women flashed before my eyes, and the word cancer, and saying what if we could find a cure, I couldn't take it. All I could think of was my sister. My sister who is fighting this battle. My sister who I wish so badly wasn't fighting for her life. My sister for whom I wish there was a cure for cancer, or that it didn't exist.

As the words and images kept flashing on the screen, I felt like I was going to stop breathing. I had tears streaming down my face in class, in front of everyone. People who didn't know that this hit just too close to home.

Thankfully, there were people, my other sisters- my sorority sisters, who do know how close to home this video hit. People like my best friend who held my hand as I cried, and cried with me.

All day, every time it crossed my mind, I got tears in my eyes. There were just so many parts to it that made it hit too close to home. Rare cancer; junior in high school. It just all reminded me of my sister, and her fight.

The song that was playing didn't help my emotions either (Keep Holding On by Avril Lavigne). It could not have been a more perfect song. The lyrics were so true to how I'm feeling, it was like I wrote them. Again, too close to home. "Keep holding on, 'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through, Just stay strong, 'Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you. So far away, I wish you were here... We'll fight and defend" Truer words couldn't be spoken (or sung), and it just really felt too close to home.

I realized it sometimes only takes the smallest things to remind you. It just takes that one song, that one word, one phrase. Whatever it is, you never know when reminders are gonna pop up. You never know when that one thing will bring back all the emotions, will take your breath away for a moment because it is so real. Because this is happening to someone you love.

It's not to say that I ever have forgotten or ever will forget about this battle my sister is fighting. But as my mom put it some days are good and some days are bad. Some days it is just too much to handle emotionally. And some days some things just hit too close to home...

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13 comments:

Mandy said...

Tears are streaming down my face. Still thinking and praying for you and your family. Hang in there!

krstarr said...

So sorry that happened, Sweety. Maybe you can focus on the fact that now you know someone else who will understand how you feel if you ever want to talk about what you're going through. I love you and I'm sending you hugs.

krstarr said...

By the way...krstarr is Aunt Kim!

Taylor-Made Wife said...

I can only imagine what you must be going through. Your sister and your family are n my prayers.

Patience said...

I am so sorry you had to go through this. Cancer is horrible enough, but when your loved ones are battling for their life, everyday life brings out the raw emotions. When my mom was battling lung cancer, everything would be a constant reminder of how fragile life really is. Some people never got it and even though her struggle was horrible, I am proud I was with her every step of the way. Your sister and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

Sues2u2 said...

Patrice, I'm so sorry. I wish that I could shield you & your family from all the bad that is happening. Please know that you & your family are always in my prayers.

Rebecca Louise. said...

I can only how hard that was Patrice. This happened the other day with my friend whose Nan is battling Cancer. We were listening to the facts and figures of it and she just could not take it. I'm so glad you had someone holding your hand :)

Chelle said...

{{hugs}}

and I am sitting here, at home, with tears streaming down my face as well.

Love ya sweetie.

The Nice One said...

Patrice, been a long time since I've been here and I am saddened to read of your family news. I am so sorry that you're family is facing this battle. Please know that you all will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Anonymous said...

I truly believe that we have reached the point where technology has become one with our lives, and I think it is safe to say that we have passed the point of no return in our relationship with technology.


I don't mean this in a bad way, of course! Ethical concerns aside... I just hope that as technology further develops, the possibility of downloading our brains onto a digital medium becomes a true reality. It's one of the things I really wish I could see in my lifetime.


(Posted on Nintendo DS running [url=http://will-the-r4-r4i-work.wetpaint.com/]R4 SDHC[/url] DS OperaV2)

Anonymous said...

I`d rather go to the cinema.
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Krystyn said...

I know exactly how you are feeling. I remember reading about the brain in school and tears just welling up in my eyes after the diagnosis and loss of my cousin from cancer. I'm glad you had "your people" there to help you through.

Twin XL said...

Wow, such a powerful poist :)

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