12.11.08

Me vs. You

Why is it that we can't just be happy with what we have, and we always have to compare it to everyone else? There will always be something that's not good enough if we constantly compare ourselves to other people: Someone will always be skinnier than me... that's just the way it is. But then there are the few that aren't. Someone will always have more money than I do... Someone will always be happier than I am... Someone will always be something that I am not or just more so than I am. Why is it that we do this to ourselves? Why can't I be grateful for what I am and for what I do have without comparing it to other people? There is usually nothing good that comes from this... it usually only leads to feeling inadequate.. at least in my case. I may not ever measure up to other people... but I am me, and I should be happy with that. Easier said than done, obviously, but it's really starting to make me crazy! I am setting myself up for disappointment by comparing myself to everyone else. The truth is my friends boyfriend might say sweet things that mine doesn't.. but that doesn't mean that my boyfriend and I aren't happy! The truth is half my friends will probably always be skinnier than me, and it sucks, but I am who I am! It's such a waste of time to compare ourselves to everyone else... we are all our own person and that's the way it should be. So why can't we just love ourselves and what we have without worrying about other people!?

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11 comments:

Wendy @ Ruen's on the Run said...

So true...I think most of us do this. It gets easier after college, and then it gets even easier when you are married, and then the easiest after having babies...or that is how it worked for me! I am no longer living to meet other people's standards...only mine.

Dee said...

OH I agree! I know I am my biggest critic and I KNOW that I always do this to myself..but I cant stop! I have HORRIBLE self esteem and this definately hits home b/c its something I need to work on!

Chelle said...

I have no idea why we do this to ourselves? It's definitely not good for us, right?

I used to do it a lot...and now when I look back and see pictures...I was so pretty! And I always thought so down on myself.

I want to teach Bella to always love who she is...inside and out.

Jen E @ mommablogsalot said...

We are definitely our own worst critics - I think it's like the curse of humanity or something - but at least you are smart enough to recognize it. :)

Janah said...

This is something that I didn't learn until probably a few years ago. And it took a tragedy for me to realize how important life itself is and not what I had. And now, I try to remind myself of that everyday. I think it helps me be happier with myself too1

Megan said...

Very true. It's this crazy cycle of life..especially in college.

Tasha Via said...

It is so hard and it is easier said than done. Our focus gets off.
Someone told me one time that when we try to compare ourselves to someone we are only seeing one side of them. We don't open our eyes to see the things they are struggling with, and it may very well be the very thing we are comparing ourselves with to them.
Growing up I never felt like I had friends, but my sister was always so jealous of how popular I was and how I always had boys following me around. WHAT?! I didn't ever see that myself, I was always too jealous of the other girls.
I know you may not see it now, but God made you just the way you are and you are influencing people you don't even know about right now!
Hang in there, you'll see=)

Heidi said...

Isn't it crazy how close this hits to home when you are 18 or 32 (like me). I have been having the same feelings whether it's about being skinny, or who's kid acts better.... It's great for you to deal with this now & not feel it at my age. You are wise beyond your years.

Joy said...

Amen, sister! We always want what we can't/don't have. Elaina kept going into her sister's room EVERY. Single. Morning. She'd move the crib around and trash the room. She did it all silently, before I woke up.

So I think up all these punishments. She STILL does it. FINALLY I decide to give her permission to go in her sister's room, but she can't move the crib. Does she go in there now? No. She has permission. She only wanted to do it when it wasn't allowed!

That's how we all are sometimes. I'm HUGE and have issues with that. I used to be a size 6 with a tight tush. Now I feel like the ol' lady who lived in a shoe and I grew two butts. But do I compare? No. I have to love me and move on! I have to strive to be better and healthy, of course. But you're right--- there's always somebody who has it. And PSSSSSSST! They're usually unhappy people! The grass isn't always greener...

Sam said...

I'm more than twice your age, girlfriend, and I haven't figured this out. If you do, I want to know the secret! :)

Heather said...

completely agree! I am sooo bad with this! I find myself saying things to my 14(and a half) yr old daughter...I say it...and then want to KICK MYSELF!!!! "wow, that girl is really skinny" or "oh your friend is so pretty!" I take my own insecurities out on her...I need to tell HER those things.. I know it makes her feel bad. why do we do this to ourselves? you nailed it ...there will ALWAYS be skinnier, more popular, wealthier, people then you. deal with it. haha

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