Boot Camp Blues

I have had a major case of the blues lately... the Boot Camp blues. See in an attempt to get skinny get healthy this summer, I did something stupid extreme. I signed up for a boot camp.

I'm not completely naive, I knew that this wasn't gonna be easy. It was, after all, called Boot Camp. Not sleep camp (although that sounds a lot better) and not sort-of-kind-of work out camp. This was boot camp. It is hardcore. Like do or die. Luckily, it is indoors or I really might die considering this Texas heat is out of control.

Let me just say I don't do mornings. Ever. Like, I schedule all my classes as late as possible and I have been known to skip breakfast in the morning just so I can sleep in an extra 20 minutes. I love my sleep. I strongly dislike mornings. So when the choices of when to take the class were 6 AM, 7 AM, or 8 AM, I nearly fainted from exhaustion right there. 6 AM that is way too early, 7 AM is still pretty early, and 8 AM still early but at least I'm not waking up before the sun. So, logically I wanted to take the 8 AM class except that I have this thing called a job. And if I didn't go to Boot Camp until 8, I wouldn't get home until 9:15, and then by the time I got ready it would be like 10:30 (ok, so I take a long time to get ready, whatever), and by the time I got to work it would be like 11 and that's just too late. So, I go to the 7 AM class. I get up at 6:20. That has got to be some sort of record for me.

So, never mind the early mornings. I am learning to deal with those (most days anyway). What is giving me the Boot Camp blues is the pain. Oh, the pain. My first day at boot camp the trainer warned me that I would be sore. "Take lots of Advil, drink lots of water and take a hot bath" she recommended to deal with the soreness. I thought she was being a little dramatic. Like, really, I don't think I need to take Advil every four hours or whatever it says on the bottle. I've been sore before after working out, and I get by okay. To further prove her point that I would be sore, she asked one of the other girls in the class a "regular" if she was sore when she first started. "OMG," she told me, "I couldn't even get off the toilet." At this point, I seriously considered running away. Ok, not really, but for real? You couldn't get off the toilet? What the !##%T!#@ did I get myself into!? 

At first the pain wasn't that bad, and I thought prayed that maybe that girl was exaggerating. Maybe she just has a really low pain tolerance or something. And then, I went back for the 2nd day. And oh my god. She was right. After that, not only could I not get off the toilet, I didn't want to get on the toilet in the first place. Or walk up or down any stairs. Or get up from sitting down. Really, all I wanted to do was lay down and not get up! Because, oh my god, my legs hurt. They hurt so bad! Suddenly, even simple daily activities like walking were super painful. I was seriously starting to wonder if my legs were ever going to go back to normal. I mean it was bad enough that I was walking slower than a snail and like I was 80 years old, but with every step I took I was in serious pain! After the 3rd day of Boot Camp, my legs were so sore that I literally slid down the stairs on my butt like you do when you're like 2 and can't walk up/down stairs yet. Yes, I slid down the stairs to avoid walking down them because I was in pain and even that hurt!

Because having my legs be in serious pain isn't enough, I also developed some kind of foot injury. After my first day, I was limping around because the bottom of my right foot was all of the sudden hurting like crazy every time I would walk around after sitting for awhile. Apparently, that meant I need new tennis shoes (and of course the only one's I liked were the most expensive. Sorry, mom!). So, after my second day of boot camp, there I laid in bed, icing my foot and saying "ouch" every time I got up because my legs hurt!


Fast forward a few days (to today) and finally my legs (and foot) are back to normal, no more excruciating pain. So when I went to Boot Camp this morning I was nervous. Was I going to have another week like last week, full of pain? Well, today the trainer announced we were working our butts. Ok, butt workout I can do that. At least my legs won't be in pain, right? Maybe not, except add this to list of things only I would do: I idiotically somehow managed to pull a muscle in my butt. Who does that!!? Apparently me. So, back to the Advil popping and being pathetic taking it easy for me.

So now I am wondering what can possibly happen next because I'm sure it will be equally as ridiculous entertaining. When all else fails, you have to laugh about it, right? All I can say, is at the end of this thing I better be a freaking toothpick. (Not likely, but a girl can dream!) So, you see, that is why I have been suffering from the Boot Camp Blues (or more like the boot camp pains, but it doesn't quite have the same ring to it!). I think it's pretty legit. And that was only week one...