18.2.11

Like It Was Yesterday

You know how there are certain days that stick with you  for the rest of your life? And no matter how long it's been it still feels like it was yesterday? Yeah, me too. For me, it is this day. The day that I found out my sister was sick. The day that changed everything.

I remember when it all started vividly; it was the night before all the craziness began. I was on my way to work and on the phone with my mom. One of the things she told me that stuck with me was that Anna had a doctor's appointment tomorrow to find out why she was having hip pain, and that she and my dad were going. This is unusual, so I was surprised and commented (ironically) "this is serious." I really didn't think it was; that's why I said that. Because my sister was an aches and pains kind of girl; something always hurt. So she was having hip pain? Tomorrow she'll get over it, I thought. But I've never forgotten my mom's answer "well, we're hoping it's not." What? I was confused; how could some little hip pain be something serious? It never, not even once occured me to me that it could be so serious, so life threatening.

The next day is a blur; I was waiting to hear from my mom after the doctors appointment. I remember bits and pieces; I remember that she had a doctor's appointment and the next thing I knew she was in the hospital getting a biopsy. It was hard being so far away, I felt out of the loop and I wanted to be there. I remember my parents were trying not to worry me, so they told me it wasn't serious.

Later that day, I was sitting in my best friend's room checking my facebook when I saw that my aunt had posted on my sister's wall. "I love you," she wrote, "whatever this is you can do it. We'll get through it." "What is she talking about?" I thought. I went to my sister's profile and tons of people had written on her wall. "You can do this," they said. "You are so strong, I know you can fight." Fight? Fight what? At this point, I had no idea that cancer was even a possibility. Tears welled up in my eyes as I read my best friend what people were saying. I called my mom immediately. "Why is everyone telling Anna she can fight and that she'll get through this? What are they talking about?", I asked her through tears. That's when I knew. I knew that this was bad. That it was serious.

It took several days after the biopsy to get an official diagnosis. I went home shortly after that for Thanksgiving break and I remember telling my sister "You probably don't even have Cancer. It's just a scare, you're fine." We both knew I wasn't right, no matter how much we wanted it to be true.

I couldn't sleep for days after the diagnosis. It was cancer. What was going to happen now? Would she die? The thought of that terrified me and broke my heart into a million pieces.


Today, I am telling you this story for many reasons. Because since going home this weekend and being reminded of how hard my sister is fighting, it's been on my mind. Because it is always on my mind. Because I'll never forget. And? Because, today, you can do something to help. 1 Million 4 Anna, the site for my sister is hosting a Twitterthon today with Abolish Cancer. For every new follower of @abolishcancer today, the ad agency that started 1 Million 4 Anna will donate $1 to Children's Hospital where Anna is being treated. Where the nurses close the door and tell Anna "I pray for you everyday." Where they all know to pray at 12:12 for Anna. Where the doctors are doing everything they can to save her life. Please spread the word. We want to give back to the hospital that has done so much for Anna, and we want to create awareness about her story.

I wish that over a year since this story began, our story was one of kicking cancer's butt. But, it is not. Not yet. But, hopefully with the prayers it will become that story.

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5 comments:

Holly said...

Wow, what a scary thing to have to go through. :(

I came across the Million 4 Anna site after I started reading your blog, but before I realised she was your sister, if that makes sense. :)

Krystyn said...

Patrice..I'm now following and tweeted for you.

You know I think about you all and include you in my prayers.

YuL hm said...

following on twitter..

pray she'll become better

Laural Out Loud said...

I often think back on a few of my imprinted memories and wonder at how I had no idea at the time, that THAT moment in my life would stay with me forever. I'll pray for Anna every day at 12:12, and for you, that you'll have a new memory to hold onto, one that involves your sister's healing.

Heidi said...

what a worthy cause - your sister is so blessed to have you walking this journey with her.

~h

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