9.10.08

Moral Window

I remember in one of our orientation seminars, they had us write down like 15 or something values we feel are most important to us. Then we had to throw 2 away, then more, then more, and then more until you were only left with one. They told us the point of this exercise was that college challenges your values and your morals, and you'll basically be put in positions that make you question your morals, and you end up having to possibly throw them out the window. I knew this was probably true, but I've always been really strong about my values, specifically what I will and won't do. It's always been I will not do drugs ever and I won't have sex until I'm in a serious relationship. That's just the way it's been, and I stuck to that, and thought that if challenged, I wouldn't change my mind. But over time, curiosity set in. So many people talked about it, and I wanted to know what it was like, blah blah blah. Well you know how they say curiosity killed the cat? Yeah... I think I agree with that. Nothing good comes from curiosity. It leads you to making the wrong decision... This weekend I made the wrong decision. I won't say what I did, because I can't. 1. My family reads or could read this blog. 2. I'm ashamed. So you can read between the lines... I said I didn't regret what I did, and I didn't think I did. But that's because I thought I stopped it before it could have serious effects. Apparently, I was wrong. Apparently, other people it involved are concerned. I never thought I would be in this position... you plan your life, you know? You accept that you'll make some mistakes. But you always in the back of your mind promise yourself you'll never make that mistake. This weekend, I got carried away. I made that mistake. Yes, there was alcohol involved which we all know clouds your judgement- 1st mistake. I accept responsibility for what I did, and just have to go on with the learned the hard way philosophy.. and hope that nothing serious comes of this.

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14 comments:

Mrs. Newlywed said...

Don't beat yourself up too badly.

Listen, we all make mistakes. Big + small. We've all done something we've said we wouldn't.

If everyone came out of it safe that is what is important.

You know where to email me if you want to chat :)

Mojito Maven said...

DITTO to Mrs. Newlywed. If we didn't make mistakes how would be grow and challenge ourselves?

Chelle said...

Sweetie, I'm sorry you made a mistake. I think that's the worst....when we recognize what we did was wrong.

But you wanna know a secret? We have all made mistakes. Some worse than others. It's what makes us human. And makes us learn.

I hope e'thing is okay...and you can write me anytime if you just need to talk. (((hugs)))

Megan said...

Things happen. You know? I am the poster-child for (at least a few years ago, not now!) doing things I shouldn't be doing with people I shouldn't be involved with. I learned many many things the hard way. You seemed to of learned after the first "oops" --so that's good. Remember how you feel at this moment if you find yourself in that position again..

The White House said...

**Sigh** Been there. Praying for you that this time of conviction would make you into a stronger, wiser woman. Don't dwell in the guilt phase, just take the time to learn from this and move on...

Jen E @ mommablogsalot said...

Mistakes happen - they have to happen - it's the learning from them part that matters.

To quote Albert Einstein like the big huge nerd that I am:
"Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new."

You're in college. This is like the best time in your life to try new things and yes make mistakes. It's how you learn who you are, and what you consider okay and what's not okay. Alright, you've done this. You've deemed it wasn't okay. Learn from that and move on.

Danielle (Life with the Hewitt Family) said...

Sorry to hear that, don't beat yourself up over it...everyone makes mistakes and it is a learning process. What is important is that you learn from the mistake you have made and avoid it in the future.

Dawn said...

You already have so many good comments about this. I agree that mistakes have to happen. It is how we learn. Trust me when I say that whatever you did is forgivable. Just learn from your mistake.

Also, don't beat yourself up over your mistake. It doesn't help! Guilt is not a good thing.

I could share with you many, many mistakes that I have made...with alcohol, men & drugs. I turned out just fine. I promise you will too!

(((Hugs))) to you because I really do know how you are feeling right now. Feel free to email me if you want to talk.

Jenny said...

i agree with Chelle..we all make mistakes, some we learn from and some we don't. who knows what comes out of the mistakes made. sometimes good things happen...

Susan in the Psych Ward said...

I always say we learn from our mistakes... I made so many at your age I just couldn't even count them... sometimes it's hard to see the big picture but I promise you will learn from this... and even at 40, alcohol still clouds my judgement! Something I guess I still haven't learned!

Elizabeth said...

Well...here's my take. it sounds like you definitely have a strong conscience and that it's telling you that you made a bad decision. Yes, we all make bad decisions, mistakes, accidents happen...but you have a conscience that will keep tapping you on the shoulder about it too. let that be a guide to you the next time you're in a precarious position.

definitely don't dwell on the guilt...that won't help you. maybe jsut make some decisions for the future so that you won't get yourself in those positions again. the first big mistake we all make will also help us not go there again.

and be assured...we've all made a variety of mistakes during our growing years...but let it make you stronger and more passionate about your strength in the future and that you won't let anything tear yo down from having the best future you could imagine.

Elizabeth said...

Well...here's my take. it sounds like you definitely have a strong conscience and that it's telling you that you made a bad decision. Yes, we all make bad decisions, mistakes, accidents happen...but you have a conscience that will keep tapping you on the shoulder about it too. let that be a guide to you the next time you're in a precarious position.

definitely don't dwell on the guilt...that won't help you. maybe jsut make some decisions for the future so that you won't get yourself in those positions again. the first big mistake we all make will also help us not go there again.

and be assured...we've all made a variety of mistakes during our growing years...but let it make you stronger and more passionate about your strength in the future and that you won't let anything tear yo down from having the best future you could imagine.

HappyHourSue said...

Boy, everybody's answering in the abstract. i was just gonna say "morning after pill"". But that's me.

Dee said...

First of..i ran accross your blog today..and its great!

Second..I wish I could say I've never been there...BUT I have! I've made that mistake BUT I've learned from it! I guess all you can do now is LEARN from it and allow it to make you a stronger person. SO NEXT time you're put in a situation where you have to test your morals......hopefully you can OVERCOME it and NOT make a mistake! Dont beat yourself up over it(as hard as that might sound) and just keep on going!

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