7.7.08

What They Don't Realize

There's alot of things I keep inside for various reasons, and sometimes I just have to get it out. So here goes... He doesn't realize that he broke my heart... and not just once. He doesn't realize that every time I drive by the places he kissed me, I think of the words he said to me "I love you... I want you to be my girlfriend for the summer... you're an amazing person, etc., etc." He doesn't realize that those words break my heart every time I think about them. He doesn't realize that those kisses replay over and over in my head every day. He doesn't realize that I still want him even though I tell myself I don't. He just doesn't realize... She doesn't realize that I would give the world for her. She doesn't realize how much she means to me. She doesn't realize she's been my best friend for almost 3 yrs and I have hardly ever felt that she feels the same way. She doesn't realize that one of my deepest fears is that after we leave for college, across the world from each other, that we will never talk to me again. She doesn't realize that the thought of this breaks my heart. She doesn't realize everything I do for her, just to make her happy. She doesn't realize how often I go out of my way to make her happy, often sacrificing my own happiness. She doesn't realize I live in fear that one day she will wake up and decide not to be my friend anymore. She doesn't realize how upset I am when she's mad at me. She doesn't realize...

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2 comments:

Jen E said...

::hugs::

Joy said...

Ooh, sounds like a rough day! *HUGS* You're just in that transition period, you know? Things are changing and they won't be the same again. It gives you this icky feeling inside, I know!

Like your blog title says, "Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman". You're becoming a woman and these things will hurt.

And on a totally diff. note, thank you for your comment on my cigar box purse! Someone at an antique store donated them to my mom-in-law and all of us girls got together and painted and decorated ours.

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