10.7.08

"I don't know what you want me to do"

"I don't know what you want me to do... I don't know why your upset" I know you don't... and that is the problem. You don't understand that I am desperately afraid that our friendship is falling apart and that it breaks my heart. You don't understand how much you mean to me. You don't understand that when I'm not with you, I want to be. You've been my best friend for so long and I am afraid of being without you. You don't understand that it's not about what I want... I don't want to hang out because that's what I want, I want to hang out because we are best friends and we want to spend time with each other, not so you don't have to hear me complain about not hanging out. I want you to understand that maybe I just need you to be there for me. I want to be a priority in your life, and I don't feel like I am, and that's not fair to me. I have given you so many chances. When people told me to forget about you, I didn't. I knew we could get through it. I knew that even though it might not always seem like it, you had the best intentions. I'm not sure anymore. I'm afraid that if I left you alone and never tried, we wouldn't ever talk. I'm sorry if you don't understand... it's how I feel. I can't change how I feel. I'm afraid that I'm losing you, and worst of all that you don't care. I know if you don't care, I shouldn't either, but its a little late for that. I just need you to understand..

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