Rush Week Guest Post #2

I'm Audreya from If You Ask Me. And let me just say upfront that I've never said anything in my life in less than a thousand words, so forgive me if I ramble on! When Patrice first asked if anyone wanted to guest post about their sorority experience, I was reluctant to say "yes". Strictly speaking, I wasn't in a sorority, so would I really have the much to offer? But, in the end, the desire to hear myself talk (or read myself type, I guess) won out and here we are…

The sorority experience itself also started off reluctantly for me. A little background: I attended a small, private university in Arkansas. Our sororities weren't part of the national Greek system, so we referred to them as social clubs. However, aside from a few vocabulary differences, I've found my experience to much the same as that of my Greek friends. I say "pledge". You say "rush". Technically I think we're all supposed to say "induction" or "recruitment", but the gist is the same.

I started college in the fall of 1997. I arrived on campus with preconceived notions about sororities in general and even about each specific club. I'd had friends and relatives attend the same university and tell me "Oh, these girls are snobby", "These girls are dorks", "You should totally pledge this club…" (Note: Our process was flip-flopped from what I understand most to be. We had almost two months of mixers / selection process and then one pledge week, after which we were full-fledged members.) I began attending the open mixers for a number of clubs. I even attended a couple of the invite-only mixers later in the process. Then it was time for the pledges to rank their top choices and the clubs to rank their top pledges. It all got put into a computer and… beep, beep, boop, boop… a bid sheet appeared. Like eHarmony: Sorority Edition. (We also had an "everyone gets a bid" policy. Though the bid might be for a club you ranked very low, you did get a bid and get the opportunity to pledge if you wanted.)

However, after the invite-only round of mixers, I had decided pledging wasn't for me. I wasn't head over heels for any of the clubs. I didn't want to devote that much time to anything. All in all, I thought it seemed unnecessary. I mean, it was a campus of less than 5,000 students. I could make friends on my own, right? Of course, a staggering percentage (80-something, I think) of students participated in social clubs. When you met someone new "What club are you in?" preceded "What is your major?" as an ice breaking question. But, whatever, I was my own woman. I dropped out of the pledge process.

I don't regret that decision. It was right for me at the time. I got involved with a drama group. Declared a major I actually never changed (I'm still waiting for an award for that, by the way!) Made friends in a variety of clubs that I might not have made if I'd been focused on just one particular set of Greek letters. But, most importantly, I had a year to observe. At the end of my freshman year, I realized I that I was going to pledge the following year. Not because I felt like an outcast… I didn't. Not because I had missed out on going to banquets and functions… I didn't. But because I liked the sense of community I had seen amongst each club… and the social club system as a whole. And, the club I knew I wanted to pledge was one of them I hadn't even given a second glance to during the mixers the previous fall. Funny how things works out like that, isn't it?

So, when my sophomore year rolled around, I began the pledge process again. Though I knew many of the girls by then, I wasn't a shoo-in. I visited and sent notes in the mail. I held my breath on bid day. And, when I opened my envelope and saw the logo of a key at the top, I knew I was where I belonged. My social club was called Tri Kappa. For obvious reason, we went by Tri Kappa and not three Ks. And no, no one ever figured out exactly what our founders what thinking with that choice of name, but I assure you it was nothing sinister! We were the Sisters of the Key… the key to everlasting friendship.

"Everlasting friendship" seemed like a corny phrase at the time, but who was I to judge? I was a Class II member, affectionately known as a gopher. I still had to get through pledge week!

I don't know what pledge week / rush week is like now. I know there are all sorts of laws about hazing, forced participation, etc. As there should be. Those laws were around when I pledged, and combined with our campus' strict policies, everyone had a safe experience… but did I have to all sorts of ridiculous / silly / bizarre / early in the morning - late at night things? You betcha. I wore the same pair of black socks for the entire week and wasn’t allowed to wash them. I carried my pledge book with me EVERYWHERE and was only allowed to set it down when specifically told to do so. I wasn't allowed to walk on grass. I memorized countless facts about the club. I searched ALL OVER CAMPUS for the Halsey-Taylor monument only to find out there were about 10 in each building and most people called them water fountains. Nonsensical? Sure. But would I trade it? Not for the world.

My best friend and I pledged together.
When we got our jerseys,
 we were so excited, we shot an entire roll
of film doing weird poses like this.

At the end of the week - "Hell Night", as it was called - we went out to our sponsor's house - in the middle of the woods - and had to recite all the stuff we'd memorized, participate in more silly stunts, etc. At the end of the night, we sat in a circle and were told to close our eyes and remain silent. The President talked about how most of us had done well and would be welcomed into the club, but a few of us just didn't work out. If you felt a tap on your shoulder, you were out (I think Project Runway stole our idea). You were to quietly leave the circle and let the other girls celebrate. When I felt that tap on my shoulder, my heart sank. I fought back tears. What had I done wrong?! But I opened my eyes and began to stand up. That's when I realized everyone else was doing the same. One last joke for the Class I members / scare for the Class II. Behind us stood our Big Sisters with their jersey… ready to hand over to us. We were in! It is still one of my favorite memories ever.

My Big Sis and me at my formal
induction ceremony

I went on to become Historian, Activities Director, Vice-President and President. (And yes, as President, I did the same "fake out" stunt on Hell Night.) I even served as an officer on the Inter-Club Council. Later, people would laugh when I put those skills on my resume, but it was a lot of work and valuable experience. Successfully getting a bunch of boy-crazy, giggly 18 year old college freshman through Pledge Week alive and without any laws being broken? Yeah, that puppy is going on the resume! I found out a lot about myself by being in a sorority. I learned that I make an okay leader. I learned that talking in front of a crowd wouldn't kill me. I now use those skills every single day in my career. But, more importantly, I learned what it meant to have sisters you aren't related to. I made some of the best friends I can imagine. Like Mandy said in her post yesterday, some people say that being a sorority equates to buying your friends. Nothing could be further from the truth. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Sure, you can absolutely have a great college experience if you aren't in a sorority. Sure, it's not for everyone. But for those of us who've done it, it's absolutely something to be proud of. Paying dues might cover some of the administrative costs, but the experiences I had and the friendships I made were priceless.

Sadly, after 50 years, membership dwindled and eventually the club dissolved. Some shiny new clubs had formed on campus. Other larger clubs began taking even more members. My sister was in one of the last pledge class Tri Kappa saw. I'm proud she was able to pledge as my legacy. And that's the thing about legacies… they live on even when the thing that started it all isn't around anymore. Maybe "The Key to Everlasting Friendship" wasn’t so corny after all.

Guest Post: Rush Week

Hi guys! I am Mandy and I blog over at ...life's about a dream. Somewhere along the line, I found Patrice's blog or she found mine (after three kids, my memory is shot). I once posted about attending an AXO reunion (I am a tad older than Patrice) and she piped up in my comments about being a sister. She did an all call this week for guest posters, especially AXOs, and I jumped.

Come with me as we travel back in time to era of denim and Hammer Pants...

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I rushed at Clemson University in August 1994.

I had my wisdom teeth taken out 5 days before I arrived on the Clemson campus.

So basically I still had some swelling and pain during rush.

That's just what someone needs when they have to smile and talk to hundreds of girls they don't know.

There were 600 freshman and sophomore girlsgoing through rush.

Each sorority "party" was in a different location around campus.

Did I mention Clemson has a big campus?

It's August.

In the South.

Which made it HOT.

And I resembled a sweaty chipmunk.

I think I answered the same questions from a zillion girls over and over.

Where are you from?

What's your major?

What dorm are you living in?

I didn't mind; I loved meeting new people. Rush was kind of my thing.

As the week wore on, the 11 sororities were whittled down to two. You then attended the "pref" parties (preference parties) and waited on a bid.

Standing outside of Tillman Hall on Bid Day, waiting to see if you received a bid from the sorority you wanted (or a bid at all) was one of the most nerve wracking things I have ever gone through.

Much to my relief, I had a bid.

Then it was off to the races.

All the rushees ran (literally) to find the spot on campus where their new sisters were waiting for them.

Upon finding my chanting Alpha Chis (A-L-P-H-A C-H-I Omega), I almost tripped down the steps to hug a friend from high school, who was waiting for me. I have such fond memories of being with my AXO sisters, my friends.

To this day, I always hear comments about "buying" your friends when you join a sorority.

But when those friends were in your wedding,

when those friends still meet up with you for football games and mini reunions,

and those friends are still staying in touch with you 15+ years later (thank you very much, Facebook),

then I'd say it was a pretty good investment.

Excuse Me While I Fall Off the Planet...

If I'm not here for awhile, don't mind me. Don't worry,  I am going to fall off the face of the planet for awhile but I'll be back!

Tomorrow I leave to go back to school & all the madness starts Sunday! I have 8 hours to get moved in, set up, decorated and everything then Sorority recruitment starts. This means hours and hours of practicing conversations, talking to girls, lots and lots of work. And very little sleep. Which also means very little free time (a.k.a blogging time). So, yeah, I won't be here much.

I knew this was coming, which was why I had planned to post a lot this week, and write posts to schedule to post next week so my blog would not be neglected at all. Except then life got in the way. And all the sudden my to do list multiplied by like 1000. I was trying to finish up at work before I left for the summer, trying to complete all my shopping, say all my goodbyes. Needless to say, this did not leave a whole lot of extra time. So, I didn't get around to blogging.

Not only am I behind on my blogging, but I am behind on my 31DBBB stuff. Like probably at least 10 days behind. Clearly I will not be finishing the challenge in 31 days, nor will I be done in 5 days like everyone else. Maybe by the end of next month, if I'm lucky! What can I say, I just haven't had time! Seems to be the common theme of this post, huh!?

Anyway, this is all good stuff. Going back to school for my 3rd year (how did that happen!!?!) will be great, and sorority rush is such a great time to bond with sisters and get new ones!!! My blog can wait, I know that.

Since I failed to plan ahead and write posts for next week (I know, shame on me!), I was wondering if anyone would be interested in sharing your sorority story! Since I'll be out for sorority stuff, I want to dedicate the week to all things sorority (especially if you were an AXO, wink wink!). If you are interested, let me know! It would be so fun to hear y'alls experiences! (ETA: I don't think I was clear. I am looking for anyone interested in guest posting next week about your sorority experience!)

So, I apologize for my absence.  I sure hope you'll still be here when I get back!! I'll definitely be checking in as much as possible at your blogs! See you on the flip side...

Are You Excited!? (Re-post)

I am out of town this weekend, and I didn't want my blog to be neglected! This is a post I wrote last year at this same time, and a year later it still rings true (truer than ever, I think). It has been on my mind lately, so I thought I would share it again for those of you who didn't read it the first time! Or even if you did, you can take a walk down memory lane with me!
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"Are you excited!?"

I hear this almost everyday at least twice a day, probably more. It usually follows the question "When do you go back to school?" As soon as I answer, it always always follows "Are you excited?"

This is where the dilemma is. I know the answer everyone is expecting. I know I'm supposed to say "yes! I can't wait! I'm so excited!" The truth? I don't know how I feel. Of course I want to see my friends, of course I'm looking forward to seeing them again, but excited? Not really. Not yet, anyway.

When I think about this question, and how I'm supposed to react, it reminds me of an episode of Sex & the City (work with me, it's not what you think!) when Miranda finds out she is pregnant with a boy. She knows what the ultra sound tech is expecting; for her to get all excited! So, in her words, she "fake orgasms". She acts all excited, saying "a boy! oh boy oh boy!" because that's what is expected of her even though she wasn't really feeling that way.

This is how I feel when people ask me if I'm excited to go back to school. I feel like they expect me to shout for joy, maybe jump up & down with excitement. I mean, can you imagine if someone said "are you excited to go back to school?" and my response was "eh... not really."? I realize that most people that ask this are just being polite, and don't actually expect me to go into a long, deeply thought out answer. Which is exactly why I smile and "fake it" so to speak and say "Yes, I'm so excited!"

Don't get me wrong. I love where I go to school. I love my friends. It's just hard for me to go back & forth, and it's hard for me to be excited. It takes me awhile to adjust to a new situation. It's the same coming home from school; when I first get home my parents are all giddy and excited I'm home and I'm thinking getmeoutofhereandbacktoschoolNOW! But pretty soon it starts to feel normal again, and I know that's how it will be once I get to school. It will take a little getting used to at first, but then it will be normal again, and I won't want to come home because I'm so happy there.

So, for now, when I get asked if I'm excited, I'll continue to fake it. I'll smile and nod my head and maybe even jump up and down like an idiot (ok, probably not), but inside hold tight to the knowledge that one day soon I will be excited, and won't be able to imagine a time when I wasn't. Or maybe I'll just answer "read my blog"!

How We Became the Laughingstock of the Beach

Disclaimer: I was sadly not present for this event due to not feeling well. However, I heard about it in enough detail from my family members that I feel I am educated enough to tell this story, even if it is second-hand. I attempted to check my facts as much as possible, so I blame lack of family cooperation for any incorrect facts.

This past week, my family and I were in Litchfield Beach, SC for a family reunion with my dad's side. This our 21st year in a row going, and it is always a blast. It is truly special that my cousins, sister and I were able to grow up with this tradition of getting together every summer, and getting to see family who we might not be able to see otherwise.

Anyway, after 21 years of meeting at the same place, we have definitely developed some traditions over the years. Some have lasted all 21 years (as far as I know... I was only 9 months old our first year!), some are newer traditions and some have changed as we (my cousins, my sister and I) have gotten older.

One of these traditions is "family day". It is every Wednesday of our beach week, and on this day the dad's and our "Papaw" don't go golfing like they do every other day, and they stay home and spend quality time with all of the family. When we (the kids) were younger, this was the day when the dad's took us out to the water park. We spent the whole day there, just us and our dad's, and it was a blast. However, a few years ago we decided we had all kind of outgrown the water park. As fun as it was, we were not little kids anymore, so we decided to scrap that tradition.

However, in it's place we developed "Beach games" that were to be planned by the dad's and played by the kids on family day. So, the first year was fairly successful; we played our games and we all enjoyed ourselves, and it was a fun family bonding experience. Fast forward to last year, and beach games failed to take place. We blame the dad's, but they claim it's not their fault, so who knows who is to blame. Anyway, this year we decided to bring them back and make them better than ever.

So Friday, our last day at the beach, all the grand kids file out to the beach for beach games to begin. And this is how it started to go downhill. The planners of these games (my mom and my aunt Kara) decided that this should be like "Beach Olympics". We needed an opening ceremony and a closing ceremony. I laughed this off, thinking they were joking. They weren't. As everyone got outside to play or witness the games, the adults began to sing. Not only were they singing loud enough to get other people's attention on the beach, but they were singing The Star Spangled Banner. People around us on the beach started standing up, putting their hands on their heart as if they had to follow what we were doing, and some people just laughed at us. When some of my cousins started to laugh, because clearly this had to be a joke, our grandfather informed them that this song was "the most important song you'll ever hear." So in other words, shut up. 

 (Here are the teams, lined up preparing for battle!)

So, the beach games proceeded and of course there was sibling rivalry, cousin rivalry, and everything else you could expect. We were really a sight to be seen, out on the beach playing field day like games. People who were walking by literally stopped and watched either out of shock like WTF are they doing, or to laugh at us, either way they were staring. It is important to note that 6 out of the 8 cousins are girls, and we all know bikinis or any kind of bathing suit is not the most modest outfit. It is also not really conducive to running around the beach and pouring water into buckets, which is exactly what the game requires.See?

Then, there was the egg toss. Get a group of kids together, and toss eggs, and you are bound to get a mess. Even on the beach. The eggs ended up all over the beach and of course, in peoples hair because someone thought that was a good idea since it's apparently good for your hair.

(Passing the sponge game)

 (Egg tosses are very intense!)

And obviously beach games would not be complete without some silly string to spray all over everyone. So now not only is everyone soaking wet, covered in egg, but also covered in silly string. And suddenly everyone looked like this:

 Well, mostly just the adults looked like that, at least they were good sports! ;)

Then, for the closing ceremony it was decided the kids would shoot off rockets they had made earlier in the week as a craft. This is when disaster really struck. The rockets are not exactly high tech, and were made by kids ranging from 8-14. That being said, these rockets apparently had a mind of their own because when they were lunched, they landed everywhere. Including near other people on the beach, almost hitting people in the head. Some people were angry we were throwing rockets at them, some just laughed at us, obviously thinking we were crazy people.(Sadly, no pictures of this.)

21 years at the beach we have experienced many things, but this was definitely the first time that I can say for sure that we were the laughing stock of the beach. You know when people are pointing and laughing, it's pretty safe to assume they are not laughing with you.Oh well, what's a little embarrassment for family fun right!?

(Note to any and all family members who may be reading this, this post is intended to be a satirical recount of what happened. It is in no way supposed to be offensive to anyone involved in planning or participating in these games. Also, please don't kill me for posting pictures of you in your bathing suit. It had to be done.) 

31DBBB: 2 Weeks Down!

So, I made it through the first two weeks of the 31 Days to Build a Better Blog Challenge (see here for more explanation, I am trying not to be redundant.) without too many problems. When I decided to sign up for this thing, I wasn't sure what I was getting myself into, to be honest. All I knew is that A) It would help improve my blog and B) It would connect me to a lot of other bloggers, which is something I love to do. So I signed up and I followed along with the tasks and I posted in the forums and here I am, still just me and my blog, trying to make it through. A few of the things I have learned throughout this journey:

• I have major Wordpress envy. Every time I see something cool on others blogs and ask "how did you do that?" The answer is always a Wordpress plug in. When I read The Pink Crab's Blogger vs. Wordpress post last week, all the comments voted Wordpress was better. I get it. Wordpress is the bomb. Now who wants to tell me how to afford it? I am just a poor college student after all!
  
  
• Blogging is so much more than just writing down your random thoughts and publishing them for all to read, which is what I thought it was when I decided to start one. It is like a business. You have to market it, improve it, change it, and so on and so on. It's insane. I never realized how much effort blogging takes to be "successful" and how much behind the scenes stuff there is to it.
  
  
• Apparently I'm supposed to know what my blog is about. According to the ProBlogger dude who started this 31 Days challenge "if you don't know what your blog is about, no one else will either." Great. So because I don't limit myself to blogging about one thing no one will know what my blog is about, and therefore not want to read it? Also, I am supposed to have a "niche" and there are supposed to be other bloggers out there who fit into my "niche".  I googled college bloggers, college student bloggers to see what I could find. And the answer was pretty much nothing. Still searching for my "niche". Thoughts are appreciated.
  
  
• Blogging is kind of high school. You either have to be really smart or really funny or something to be recognized by the "cool kids".  If you want your blog post featured on the SITS weekly wrap ups, or Nirvana Mamma's blog or even just tweeted about by one of the leaders of this challenge.. well you better post something brilliant that people absolutely need to know or something so hysterical that people peed their pants. Yeah, I'm not gonna hold my breath for that one. The difference is, the homework for this challenge is way more fun than high school! The other day our assignment was to go to the mall... if that's not the best homework ever, I don't know what is!
  
  
• Sometimes you have to go outside your comfort zone, but it's all for a good cause! A couple of these challenges have made me nervous, like early on when we were supposed to promote one our posts. This is when all my insecurities come out & I am afraid to ask people to read my stuff. But, once I stepped outside my comfort zone I got great feedback and it really paid off in the end!
  
  
• It is pretty much impossible to keep up with all the blogs you read before the challenge, all the blogs you find through the challenge, and keep up with writing stuff on your own blog. Not to mention the daily challenges, and the forum posts. And forget about commenting. Also, if you have 15 minutes or whatever to read blogs, and you chose to peruse twitter for 31DBBB posts, be prepared for bloggy friend guilt. I always feel guilty because I am neglecting my current blog friends in hopes of making some new ones. That's the trade off I guess.
  
  
• When you start dreaming about 31DBBB and all that you still need to accomplish because you are a few days behind, you know you have probably put a little too much pressure on yourself. It is supposed to be fun, after all. Although, it would be nice if you could accomplish things for real in your dreams. Like I had a dream that I got this post done, and voila it's done! If only...!
  
  
• When you explain 31DBBB to one of your IRL friends that follows you on Twitter, their immediate response is "oh, is that what you've been going on and on about on Twitter?" Yes. Yes it is. Because tweeting about it is half the fun! To "outsiders" it seems that's all you tweet about, to 31DBBB people, you're normal.
  
  
• The blogosphere is a small, small world. It is so fun to realize how many of 31DBBB friends know my other blog friends! We travel similar circles, and that is cool! Who can blame them? I know a lot of really awesome people here in the blogosphere!
  
  
• When you get together a group of women (and one man as far as I know!) who are all talented, smart, creative and willing to help one another, great ideas are born!
  

Those are just a few of the things I have learned so far. I am sure I am forgetting things, and I am sure there are even more things yet to be learned in the next 15 days of the challenge!

Now, if inquiring minds want to know, I will show you my stats from the last 2 weeks. (A big thank you to Hannah at Bubbleboo who has answered all of my questions about how to make my stats look perfect!) The first week, I saw a steady incline in my numbers, but this week they were a lot lower. I'm not too worried about it, though. I was on vacation on not posting much, so why would people be coming over here?! The numbers might be down, but numbers aren't everything. I know my blog is improving and I am learning a lot! Here's my spreadsheet, color coded and everything!

So, there you have it... 14 days down, 15 to go! 31dbbb peers, what do you have to add to the list of what we've learned? Let me know!

7 Things You'll Thank Me For Later

Today is Day 7 of the 31 Days to Build a Better Blog Challenge. Yeah, remember I mentioned that like a week ago? I haven't really been slacking, I just didn't think that every task required a post.

One of our first task was to make a list post. Obviously, I haven't done this yet, and today's post is to write a link post, so I figured I would kill two birds with one stone and make a list of 7 bloggers (7 for day 7 of the challenge!) who are also doing the challenge that you should definitely check out... and that you will want to thank me later for introducing you to! So, without further ado, meet my new blog friends! (Well, I hope they'll be my friends ;) )

1. Cate at Real Life With Kids- Last week when I tweeted that I couldn't complete that days task to promote yourself because I didn't feel any of my posts were worthy, she came over to my blog and found one she liked and linked up to me in her post that day! It really made me feel good! Not only is she so sweet to do that, but she is hilarious and awesome. She wrote a very informative post for the list day about why Cheeto's are awesome. The Cheeto's people should take note and get this girl on board to be their very own Cheeto blogger or something cool like that. Seriously, check her out and thank me later!
2. Kathryn at The Coastal Chick- This girl is not only sweet but she is funny! Her elevator pitch on Day 1 of the challenge not only made me feel like I'd known her forever, but it made me literally laugh out loud!
3. Designer Wife at The Glamorous Life of A Designer Wife- I was first impressed by her beautiful blog, but the content is even better than the design. She wrote a list about the 16 things she wished someone had told her before becoming a housewife, and it was hysterical! Also, she watches the Real Housewives on Bravo, which wins cool points in my book!
4. Multiple Mama- I clicked over to her site yesterday and instantly fell in love! Her blog is so well written! She's sarcastic, funny, and witty and you can't stop reading her blog. She summed up the first week of The ProBlogger challenge so well in her post Cool Girls Blog School (Part One) yesterday.
5. Cameron at Ingenue Mom- I found her blog last week, and ever since have not stopped reading! She is funny and very knowledgeable and has an all around fun blog to read! When we had to stalk observe another blogger in our niche, she wrote about Dear Baby, and got featured on SITS! Yesterday, she summed up the million articles we had to read by pointing out the best ones and talking about what she was going to do to improve her blog, which included a lot of GREAT ideas!
6. Melissa at The Pink Crab- I love her blog because she is super informative. Yesterday, she compiled a great list of the pros and cons of wordpress vs blogger, and it really helped me understand the differences! Also, last week, she listed free things you could get on the internet, and who doesn't link free things?!
7. Amy at Somebody's Parents- The first time I clicked over to Amy's blog, I knew I loved it. Not only is it really pretty, but it also had great content. Amy is expecting her first baby in less than 99 days, and she blogs about her journey of becoming someones parent & what goes along with it.

So, there you have it! I hope you will stop by and give these fabulous bloggers some love! I am so thankful I have found so many great blogs to read through this challenge! 

(By the way, my fan page is 2 away from having 100 fans, so if you would please "like" it & help me get to 100!!)