Got A Secret, Can You Keep It....

"Got a secret, can you keep it? Swear this one you'll save. Better lock it in your pocket, taking this one to the grave"

Yes I just quoted the Pretty Little Liars theme song. I know. It's catchy, what can I say?! Anyway, I do have a secret to share. However, it is not my secret I am sharing. It is some anonymous person who trusted me to post their secret on my blog.

I am participating in BlogSecret, hosted by Holly. I love this idea! When I chose to blog using my name, I never considered what that meant. I never thought that there were things that I might not want to put out there using my name. There are some things I just can't say on here because of who might read it. That's where Holly's great idea comes in. I wrote a post, shared my story, but without my name attached to it. It's posted on someone elses blog anonymously, so it's out there, but it's not associated with me. It's the best of both worlds!

So, here is the secret that I have been entrusted to share. Leave your feedback for this person if you want, as they know their secret is being posted here! And, if you want to participate next time, be sure you let Holly know!
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The most beautiful woman in the world
I am doing this entry to try and flush the beautiful woman in the world out of my head.  I came across her while I was on holiday last November. The tragedy for me at least is that as much as she redefines what sexy is and has a equally bright mind she does not live in my local area, nor is she likely to in the foreseeable future. She has the nicest eyes I have ever seen which helped to cast me under her spell. While under her spell time just flew by.  I so fell under her spell that I failed to notice any other women for about two weeks afterward.  A part of me wants or wanted to tell her how amazing she is. But it really would be pointless because I probably won’t see her again.  Oh and the fact we have a couple of things in common only adds to things. I suspect that she is going to be in my dreams for a while yet.

The Giving Fraternity

Hello readers, My name is Britain, and I am a fellow Alpha Chi Omega, and  blogger, be sure to check out my blog  Simply Southern Girl by clicking the link!  When Patrice, asked me to guest post, I thought of course! but what shall I post about..

Since Patrice is in the midst of sorority recruitment, I knew I wanted to focus on something greek. The below article was posted on Fraternal Thoughts blog,  I decided I must share it with her readers because  a) I LOVE the Giving Tree.. It is such a wonderful book. b) wish that all Greeks nation wide take a moment to reflect upon their collegiate experience upon reading this article.. c.)  I hope it helps fellow greeks understand that when you graduate from college, while your formal education at your Alma mater  may be over, in regards to fraternity, it ain’t over. Not by a long shot.

So without further a due:

The other night, my son Jack pulled Shel Silverstein’s The Giving Tree off his shelf. In this tale, a young boy develops a relationship with a large tree, climbing her, playing in her branches, incorporating her into his imaginary stories, and simply resting beside her large trunk. The tree loved the little boy and the boy loved the tree.

As the boy grew, his use for his beloved tree changed. Life circumstances drew him away from the tree, which saddened her. She would wait anxiously for his return, and through the book, we see him come back to her at pivotal times in his life. As a young man, he tells the tree that he needs money. She tells him that she has no money, but he can harvest her apples and sell them, which he does. Later, he returns as a middle-aged man, and tells her that he wants a house. She has no house to give, but encourages him to take her branches to build a house. He does. He comes back to her as an older man, with a desire to go far away from home – to sail somewhere free from problems. She offers her trunk so that he may build a boat, and he takes it. What’s left of the tree is a stump, still firmly rooted in the ground.

Each step along the way, when the boy would return and request more and more from the tree, she was excited to give him what he needed. Each time the boy would take something, the book tells us: “and the tree was happy.”

Many more years pass, and the boy returns as a very old man. The tree is excited to see him, but tells him that she has nothing left to provide – no apples, no branches, and no trunk. All she is, she tells him, is just a stump. The man tells her that he is too old to need anything but a place to rest his weary bones. The tree tells him that a stump is good for resting, and encourages him to come rest on her. He does.

And the tree was happy.

Consider this story as you prepare to leave your undergraduate years. These last few years in the fraternity or sorority were like the years the tree first spent with the little boy. The fraternity was excited to have you. It wanted you to use it for play, to learn critical lessons, to build the story of your life. Likewise, you loved and needed the fraternity. It’s “fruit” were the relationships you built with your brothers and sisters – relationships that became your family. It’s “branches” were the moments it gave you so that you could experience the carpe diem of college life. The “trunk” served as the memories that stay sturdy and strong as the rest of life moves on. The fraternity became a part of your life, and you, a part of hers.

So now you are an alum. Like the boy in the story, you’ll likely return to the fraternity or sorority for different needs as your life pivots and changes. You may ask her for things – and she will graciously give them to you. A fraternity is a selfless giver – always wanting her members to be happy and fulfilled. And we gladly take. We take her fruit, her branches, and her trunk. They help us navigate this crazy, awful, beautiful life. In return, we give her the joy of seeing her members live lives of significance. She doesn’t ask for anything else. But, that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t give her more.  We can become the “giving tree” for her.

As an alum, you can give the fraternity the gift of mentorship. You can be a guide and a resource for new members. You can also give the fraternity the gift of your presence by attending national events, serving as an advisor, and contributing as an alumni leader. You can give the fraternity your treasure, donating to educational foundations and house corporations. You can do all of these things, and the fraternity will be better because of them.

But there is a gift even greater. There is a part of the fraternity that we haven’t yet discussed. In The Giving Tree, it’s the stump. It’s the part that is always there even after the rest is taken. It’s our Ritual. Our values. Our codes. Our oaths. Our declarations to be better men and women by living the core values of our fraternities. It was the greatest gift the fraternity gave you, and will continue to give you every day of your life.

And the greatest gift you can give her in return is to live her ritual every day. When you do, you honor her. When you don’t, you slight her.

Remember that your undergraduate years are only the beginning – and not the end. Your fraternity gave you a guide for how to live life to its fullest. When the many twists, turns, and bumps of life come your way, remember this gift. She will be there in the good times and the bad. She can help you build a marriage, raise a family, advance a career, and enhance the world. All you need to provide is integrity – a willingness to stay true to her teachings.

If you do, then your story may read like this:

After many years, the boy returned to the fraternity. She was so excited to see him that she could barely speak. The boy looked at the fraternity and spoke with conviction.

"I return today to thank you and tell you about the life you prepared me for.  You gave so much to me, and I've tried to repay those gifts by living your values."

He continued. "You gave me the confidence to make hard decisions, and through my life I tried to always do what was right. You taught me the power of responsibility, and I was always true in my words and actions. Leadership is another gift you gave me, and because of you, I’ve always stepped forward when needed. You also gave me a chance to serve my fellow man, and I assure you that I haven’t stopped.”

“I stand more proudly because of you. I am kinder to others because you asked me to be. And I am rarely alone thanks to the extended family you helped me find. You gave me all of this, and more.”

“But I’m not sure that I have anything left to give,” the fraternity replied.

“All I want is a chance to read your Ritual once again.” said the boy.

“Then come, rest for a while, and read.” said the fraternity. “There are even more lessons to learn. You are not yet finished with this life; not yet finished giving."

After a while, as the boy set to leave, the fraternity spoke.  “You honor me by giving," she said.  Never stop sharing your unique gifts and my unique teachings with this world. Give. Give. Give.”

And the boy did.

And the fraternity was happy.

Guest post: Crossing over

This is the first year I will not return to Washington and Lee University. I am now an alumna which means I will no longer practice walking up and down the stairs, leaving enough room for the PNM on my arm to hold onto the handrail or rehearse yelling loud enough to drown out the two "srat" houses on either side of us, "I am a P! I am a P-I! I am a P-I-B-E-T-A-P-H-I!"

Recruitment is a big deal at our small liberal arts school tucked into the Blue Ridge Mountains and the Valley of Virginia. Roughly three out of every four women will go Greek. We run a formal recruitment, meaning we go to the max - we decorate trash cans with bows. We are all Pi Phi all the time.

And it's sad knowing I won't be going back to that, that I won't sit at lunch with my sisters or walk to class with them.

But it is comforting to know that our Greek commitments aren't just for four years, they're for life. I was in a sister's wedding in June. Another just had a baby and has been showered with congratulations from her pledge sisters. And now I am advising a chapter where I get to see them struggle with the same things I did not so long ago.

The experiences we have, the friendships we make and the lessons we learned don't walk across the stage with us at commencement. They live within us and we pass them on.

Recruitment can be stressful, that's for sure - not finding time to do work, heading home past midnight from the house, being surrounded by women 24/7 with seemingly no time for yourself. But keep in mind what is being built. Recruitment is the lifeblood of our organizations. It is the one time of year we get to extend the hand of sisterhood to women who will be by our sides when we face our greatest disappointments and our most profound accomplishments.

And I'd give anything to be back at it.

Stephanie Hardiman is a freelance writer and journalist. She keeps a personal blog of things vaguely related to her life and the media here.

Technically a woman, but you know, not really.

Today I'm turning my blog over to Caroline from Girl Goes East. We are partners in the 20 Something Bloggers Blog Swap, so we're swapping blogs for the day (duh that's what a blog swap means). Here's Caroline's autobiography:

Caroline (girlgoeseast.com) is a 22 year old college graduate who holds a degree in journalism and a full-time job in...not journalism. She currently lives in Manhattan where she frequently locks herself out of her building and sees that guy from Gossip Girl (she doesn't know which one). She started her blog so she wouldn't forget how to write, but now she just forgets how to work.

Hopefully you will enjoy her post and if you do make sure you go show her some love at her place (while you're there, you could show me some love on the post I wrote for her... *cough*cough* just sayin') Anyway, without further ado, here's Caroline's post: 

When I first saw my name next to Patrice’s, I clicked her link.

Oh F*#^.

 

This girl is serious. She has a layout. She has a BIO. With a picture. And a background. It looks like a digital scrapbook.

 

Wait. Patrice is still in college? I’m not in college anymore! It’s been a year, and the wealth of knowledge I’ve aquired in the last 11 months is so extensive that I could trump her layout any day. In fact…

Ok wait. This isn’t a competition. My therapist would say I’m probably just jealous she’s still in college and I’m not.

My therapist would be right.

Not a girl, not yet a woman, hm? Yeah, I feel you. I totally feel you. I realize that even though in the state of New York (and in the bank account of Mom and Dad), I am legally a woman (and not a girl), sometimes I feel like I’m still in the in between phase.

With Britney Spears and her awesome thought-provoking lyrics in mind, let’s go back to 1998 when Baby One More Time debuted at #1 on the Billboard charts (also, sometimes I make facts up).

Because I didn’t get a CD Burner til 8th grade, I was left to my own devices. And by my own devices, I mean an 18lb boom box and an alarm clock radio, where I would record mix tapes externally so the sound would always be fuzzy and LAY OFF ME WHAT ELSE COULD I DO?!

I would wait until the “top 9 at 9” would come on the radio so I could record the hit songs like “Baby One More Time” and “Lady Marmalade”. Then I would choreograph stage routines to said songs pretending the most popular girls in my grade were nothing more than my back up dancers.

I mean, what? Who said that?

I look back on that and I nearly die laughing, remembering listening to Britney in my bedroom as an 11 year old girl and really “feeling” the music. I think "Email My Heart" once reduced me to tears (I mean, that song still does, but before they weren't because of the pain from my BLEEDING EARS.) 

 

How embarrassing! Who does that?

FLASH FORWARD to my 22 year old current self.

Every single time I find myself in a car alone, you know what I do? I sing songs. You know what kind of songs? The one's on the Glee soundtrack. You know who I am when I sing the songs from Glee? The lead. Obviously. Even during the stereotypical male vocal songs, I AM THE STAR.

I watch my little cousins sweat Miley Cryus and kiss Nick Jonas and Justin Bieber posters before they go to sleep, and I thank God I'm not a dorky little girl anymore.

 

But where was I last night at exactly 9:25pm? On the edge of my couch, humming along to Lionel Richie's "Hello" with the cast of Glee and Googling pictures of Mark Salling while my roommate looked at me like I was the biggest freakshow on Earth. Where was I before that? Furiously voting for Andrew Garcia on American Idol.

 

I CAN'T BE THE ONLY ONE, PEOPLE!

 

We’re not girls. But we’re not women either. Most of the time we’re just awkward.
 

Let’s embrace it.

If I were a Freshman....

I'd like to say I offered to guest post for Patrice because I'm just a really nice person like that. But the real reason I offered is so that I could pretend I was a new freshman in college, even if just for 15 minutes of blogging. So for now, I'll block out the "Bob the Builder" songs blaring in the background. I'll pretend there's no Cheerio mess in the kitchen waiting for me to clean. I'll fantasize that cute frat guys are carrying my bags up to my room. Hmm... I could get into this. Let's see. ***Cue fog and dream-like harp music*** So this morning, I slept in til 10am. I mean, I woke up at 8 for class, but decided to just skip it for some sleep. Because, you know, I'm single, have no children and can do things like that. (No skipping class, Patrice!) So then my roommate and I decided to go out for some coffee. We sat and drank coffee for an hour! We just chatted and got to know each other. We didn't even have to tell any children to stop screaming. We didn't have to change diapers. We just did our own thing. But there was this one mom with her kids there. They were all screaming and running around. When I have kids, I'll never let them act like that! So later on, we hit a few classes. My sole job on this earth right now is to learn. How fun is that? And with only 15 credit hours, I'm in class a mere 15 hours a week. How lucky am I? I'm only obligated to be somewhere 15 hours out of every week. The rest of my time is MINE. I might study, I might not. I might hang out with friends or go to parties. But I get to make the decision. So then we went to the cafeteria and got lunch. It was so amazing! (Hey, if I'm dreaming, I might as well make this good!) I didn't have to cook or prepare anything for me or for anyone else. It's all there waiting for me. And I'm determined not to gain that freshman fifteen.... My day ended with a few sorority rush parties, hanging out with people on my hall, and just having fun being eighteen. And then there's those cute frat guys.... Must attend to those.... Okay, I'm back. Well, it was fun while it lasted. And to be honest, college was fun while it lasted. Being single was great. Enjoy every bit of it, Patrice! But for the rest of us mommies, think of how good we have it too. There's always a baby around to hug and kiss. Always a husband to joke with. Always a house full of mess from a day full of LIFE. I don't have the rest of my life in front of me anymore; I have the rest of my families' lives ahead of me. I can't wait to see what they bring! It might be hard work, but I wouldn't trade it in again for even a year full of cute frat boys and the freedom of being eighteen. Thanks for letting me guest post, Patrice, and for helping me appreciate all that my life holds. I hope you do the same!

- Rachel @ American Mum

What did I get myself into?!

Hi everyone, I'm Dana from Supernanny Where Are You? I volunteered the other day to be the guest hostess with the mostess, so I hope I can live up to this girl's rep. I definately don't want to do a post all about guest posting (because that's been done), so I guess I'll give you a taste of the real me. I could write about how I went to community college for one year, racked up a bunch of loan debt, didn't know what I wanted to do, and that's how I wound up at the post office, but I'll leave that for another day. Since all of my readers like a good post office story I guess I'll share another tale of terrible times. Get your popcorn and a blanket and curl up by the fire for this one, (too hot for fire, well, get some ice cream then). This past Monday we had a ton of mail. Literally, a ton. I would guess about 3 times what we normally have on Monday, which is a lot. Since I'm seriously the best carrier out here, really, I worked my butt off that day to get out and get it done. I was a little over halfway through my route when I ran out of mail up front, and needed to get some mail from the back of the truck. I should have stopped at the next box, got up, and climbed in the back and moved my mail up. I'm kind of lazy so I was stopped at the box, reaching back with my left hand to see if I could get the next tray of mail pulled up enough so that I could grab the mail for that box. As I'm reaching, I see a car coming towards the front of my vehicle at lightning speed in reverse. The lady who lived at the house was backing out of her driveway, which I was blocking a little bit with my bumper since I was sitting at her mailbox. Now imagine it all in slow motion because that's exactly how it all happened. I'm seeing her coming on my right, and I throw the gearshift into reverse (because I know my horn doesn't work). I back up a few feet, and just barely make it out of the way in time. My life flashed before my eyes. OK, maybe it didn't, but it makes the story better right? Anyway, about the time she gets to where my front left bumper is even with her passenger door she stops. The whole time she had been looking over her left shoulder towards the road. As her head turned, I saw what had prevented her from seeing that I was there, she was distracted by talking on her freaking cell phone!!!! Now, I'm every bit as guilty as anyone else for talking while driving, but man.... I was actually yelling WTF! Good thing she couldn't hear me, and didn't see me say it. She just sat there looking at me for a second and then went on her way. I felt robbed. No "Sorry, I almost ran you over." No wave and "oops", lip sync. Nothing. It's a good thing they don't get mail much, cause I could wreak some serious havoc on her mail I could wind up with post tramatic stress or something. The freaky thing is that this is the second time in about 4 months that I've avoided being backed into while I was at a box. The other time I did the same thing, backed up really quick, because they weren't looking. My horn only works intermittently, and even when they try to fix it it still doesn't work, I'm wondering if it's some kind of conspiracy. By nature I'm a very paranoid person. Mix that with the rest of the things in my nature and it becomes a wonder that I can properly function . I think I have ADD, cause I have trouble staying on subject. And with that admission, I had better just sign off now before I wind up telling you the story of the girl who opened a gift package (out of the mail) and gave out the stuff inside to the supervisors as Christmas gifts (needless to say, she's no longer there). That will have to be a story for later. I hope you've enjoyed my guest post and didn't get too bored. Come over to my blog whenever you need a fix of post office humor or craziness. You'll be sure to learn something over there, even if it's useless random facts, like how to make a gum wrapper chain, which is yet another future post. I need to get over there and get to writing....

Official Business

Good morning, this is an official press briefing from The White House. This is official business.

Now before you get all excited thinking that Dana Perino is the guest poster for Patrice while she is on her way to college… I’m gonna step it down a notch for all of you who would rather watch Dancing with the Stars and Backyardigans than CSPAN.

Really, my name is Tyne. And I do live in The White House. But it is in the suburbs of Mexico. And the only mudslinging that is going on in our lives right now looks like this.

And this.

I am so thrilled that Patrice asked me to guest post as she gets settled in to the college life. I loved college. Really, it was one of the favorite times of my life. Now, I sincerely hope that Patrice is a much better student than I was, as I went from sco-pro (scholastic probation) to honor roll and back to sco-pro a few too many times.

It is ironic that I opened this post with a political flare, as every time I would open a POLY SCI book, I would go comatose, no matter how many Grande, skinny, no whip, white mochas with a pump of ginseng I had consumed.

Uh, I just hit a wall. Writer’s block big time. Am I in HIST 105 or is the post mind numbing?

Venti Caramel Macchiato with an extra shot of espresso.

I’m back.

Just wondering if any of you still have those dreams that you forgot to go to class for the whole semester. And it is too late to drop your class. And you go into the final without your pencil. And without your scantron. And without your CLOTHES?

Patrice, here’s to great profs, new friends, lots of coffee (no beer- youngster!), sweet dreams, no morning classes and all A’s.

Gotta go, McClaine is potty training, squatting in the corner with a concentrated look on his face. I miss college days.

why people writing guest posts should always do their homework first and NEVER write about cheese

Hi guys! My name is Jen and I'm from mommablogsalot. [insert everybody saying, "Hi Jen" in a very help group-esque fashion - or better yet - a first day of college orientation-like way - perfect right? Who wants to do an ice breaker? Anyone? No one? Yeah I know, ice breakers are lame - but we could all get in a line in order by height and favorite color and then we'll hold hands and sing a song - it'll be great!!! ... Yeah, no, not so much? Okay, so...] TODAY - I will be standing in Patrice's shoes (I hope they are the pretty rain boots she just got - LOVE those) and filling in as her guest poster extraordinaire, because as you all know, Patrice is on a plane right now on her way to COLLEGE (well I'm only guessing she's on the plane right now, I guess she might not be, but you get the idea), and since she's likely to be very busy for the next few days, she's arranged for a few guest bloggers to entertain us all while she's gone - and I'M FIRST. Isn't it exciting? I'll let you in on a little secret - this is my first time guest posting ever!!! I hope I don't break any "guest poster" laws like NEVER TYPE IN ALL CAPS LOCKS BECAUSE IT IS VERY RUDE or 'never tell an embarrassing story about yourself' or 'never ever ever start talking about cheese - especially not Gorgonzola'. So I'll try my very hardest to behave, okay? Slap my wrist if I make a mistake. Okay so I just deleted like six paragraphs of writing because apparently I am the most boring guest poster ever, and I'm hoping I can finish this before my son wakes up from his nap, because he's not going to understand, "I'm sorry sweetie, I can't play right now, I'm guest posting at Patrice's..." He'll just be all like, "I wanna cookie?" Or something. I don't know. So what should we all talk about? I'm realizing now that maybe I should have planned this out better. Maybe I should have asked Patrice what she would like me to write about instead of just going in all willy nilly (I feel like I've been using that phrase a lot lately, is it just me? Yes? Okay, moving on) - I'm thinking since I'm guest posting BECAUSE of college maybe I should make this post college themed. I know all day I've been trying to conjure up some great college story that I can tell you about, but I've found that my memory seems to be short on um memory, because nothing comes to mind. I thought about doing a post full of advice for Patrice on her first day, but then I read her post from Sunday - drats, she already did that. And it was good - seriously, maybe you should go read that instead... Oh, you already, read it, too? Okay, well...

Why don't you all tell me about your college memories? Oh, blogs don't work that way? Hmm... Okay, looks like we're stuck with mine. Well, I went to college to major in business management. Why? I have no idea. Because about four months in, I started looking into the courses I would need to take to graduate and they were dreadful - like statistical analysis-tis and economic somethingorother and like only two English courses. And I was like, "Really, only two? What can I major in that has MORE English courses?" And they were like, "Um, English." And I was like "GREAT! Sign me up!" So I did, and then my father was like, "English? What are you going to do with a degree in ENGLISH?" and I was like, "Don't worry, daddio (except I never called him that. Ever. I don't have a death wish) - English majors can do all sorts of things. I can be a journalist, or a teacher, or a journalist..." Anyway I stuck with it and even worked for my school newspaper, eventually ran the thing, and did an internship with a newspaper in my hometown (which was awful, but that's another story). So then I graduated. And I set out to find that dream job - but the problem was all the dream jobs were like way over there. And I was like, "Nope, I'm right here. What can I do here?" And the answer seemed to be, "Not much, why didn't you major in something useful like nursing or business management?" And I was all set to stress out until I had this miraculous brainstorm of an idea - "I'll just get married and have some kids." And I did. Except I didn't really plan it like that, although it would be cool if I had - remember like back in the day when it was the joke that women only went to school to get their MRS? Those were the days... Okay, now it's time for the moral of my story.

::clears throat and puts on Grown Up Voice:: When you decide to go to college and it comes time to pick your major - it's VERY important to consider your life goals. If your career is important to you, as I suspect it is, you should pick a major that will bring you closer to that goal. And then you should figure out where you will have to go to get that career and what other things they might want you to have done - like maybe an internship in Lithuania or some time in the Peace Corps. Whatever. Okay, you've done that? Good. Now make sure to bring HANGERS with you to college - because no matter how many semesters I packed for school, I never remembered hangers and I always ended up buying new, and now I have like 800 mismatched hangers and really who needs 800 hangers anyway?

I know Patrice packed her hangers and probably has some awesome plan for her degree because she's so clever and organized, but maybe somebody else is reading this who is starting school TOMORROW instead of today, and is still packing and maybe they will be like, "Duh? ::forehead smack:: HANGERS!" and I totally just saved them from buying new. So you're welcome. Now what do you want to be when you grow up? Apprently, 'older' isn't an acceptable answer anymore. So - Patrice - how did I do? Are you regretting now, saying, "Sure Jen, you can definitely guest post for me." Are you changing your password now so I can't log in and make ANOTHER brilliant guest post tomorrow, about cheese perhaps - Gorgonzola anyone? Any takers? No, okay, well, I'll spare you. Because I'm sure Patrice has it all figured out. Have a great time in college Patrice! I hope you had a great flight with plenty of peanuts and zero turbulence and no screaming babies. Speaking of screaming babies...