You like me, you really like me!

I feel so... important! I have not 1, but 2 awards now!! Thank you Chelle and Mrs. Newlywed, 2 of my bbfs (best bloggy friends). So, 1st award for the day is The Diamond Award from Chelle! Seriously, I can not thank you enough for my 1st ever bloggy award! It has been a long time (like over a month) since she gave me this award, but I have not forgotten! The rules of this blog award are mention the award (check) and give it to 7 of you! This is gonna be tough since we have a lot of bloggy friends in common, and she gave the award to them already!

1. Jen @ Momma Blogs Alot- My 1st bloggy friend. I feel I have been neglecting her lately, but I still heart her, I just have less blog time! Seriously, this girl has some of the best advice, and she will offer it up no matter what. Even if the comment could be a post in itself! lol
2. Dawn @ Dawn's Daily Life- Dawn was 1 of my swap partners, for Wendi's swap! Her package was so special, she sent home made things, which is so cool! I wish I had the creativity to actually make something to put in my package! I love her blog style, because its mostly memes, but you learn so much about her and still get the daily life stories, just in a different, more fun format!
3. Dana @ Supernanny, Where Are You?- 1st of all, how funny is her blog title? I love it! Dana is so funny, and she has the most unique stories about being a post office worker. Plus, she came up with Top 5 Tuesday and does it every week, which is so much fun!
4. Heidi @ Mommy Doesn't Live Here Anymore- This girl cracks me up! She is so funny and so smart! She's one of my newest bloggy friends, but as soon as I clicked over to her blog I was hooked!
5. Susan @ Life in the Psych Award- I am new to her blog as well, but this girl is freaking funny! And she even had a celebrity comment on her blog, how cool is that!? And no, not Doocee or whatever her name is!
6. Megan @ Wandering DC- She was my swap partner for Pink Potpurri's swap, and this girl is awesome! She has awesome stories and she's just an over all great blog friend!
7. Laural @ Mamasphere- I was a lurker on her site for a long time until one day I finally commented & then she commented me, and bam! A Friendship was born! lol well at least in my mind. Anyway, she cracks me up everyday with hilarious stories about her life. She's also in the market for a new name, so if your creative like that you could win big!

My next award comes from the hilarious and super sweet Mrs. Newlywed.

Characteristics for the Smile Award:

1. Must display a cheerful attitude. I do try to remain positive on my blog!

2. Must love one another. Check Check check check

3. Must make mistakes.Oh yes, I definitely make mistakes

4. Must learn from others. I learn new things everyday from my bloggy friends

5. Must be a positive contributor to blog world. Well, I try...

6. Must love life. Yes, definitely.

7. Must love kids. What? This is random, but I definitely love kids!

These are the rules for The Smile Award:

1. The recipient must link back the the award’s creator

2. You must post these rules if you receive the award.

3. You must chose 5 people to receive the award after receiving it yourself

4. You must fit the characteristics of the recipient of the award, as posted by Mere

5. You must post the characteristics of a recipient.

6. You must create a post sharing your win with others.

7. You must thank your giver. So, now it's your turn:

• Jenny @ Happenings of a Little Bubba- She writes from her perspective, and then sometimes as Will, her adorable son! It's too cute! She always has something good to say, and it's so much fun to keep up with what her and Will are doing!
• Heather @ A Big Boy, A Girl, and A Pug- Ok, I can't even believe she hasn't gotten one of these before (or if she has it's not on her sidebar yet, like me). She was recently diagnosed with Stage IV Melanoma cancer, and since then has been determined to kick it's @$$! She always has something positive to say, even when she's sick and feeling awful she keeps a positive attitude. It never fails to amaze me, and I'm continuing to cheer her on as she kicks cancers @$$!
• Honey Mommy- She has the greatest stories about her 2 little boys, and she is an amazing writer. She's so sweet, and she always has something positive to say.
• Chelle @ Creative Momma- I just can't say enough good things about this girl! She's so amazing, she writes the sweetest posts about her and her adorable daughter Bella! She always leaves great advice on my comments, which I love! And she even stayed positive when her daughter ate dog poop. Yeah, how hard would that be?
• Brittany @ 4 Little Men & Twins- If you haven't checked out her blog, do it now. She is one of the most perfect recipients of this award I could think of. She has been through so much lately, with a traumatic car accident that forced her to give birth to her twin girls early and left her in a ton of pain. She has never complained or felt sorry for herself once and it amazes me how she has every right to complain, but doesn't. And she obviously loves children, since she has 6! :)

Wow, that took a long time, but it was worth it. I'm off to clean my room, so I can post the before & After pics! Plus, I'm going to hang out with that new guy later, so I need to look cute!!

Update

I'm gonna make this sweet & short... I'm trying to get my awards ceremony post done to finally post today! And I have a lot of other stuff to talk about, so I don't even know where to start! I'm sorry for the lack of posts lately, I've just been at a loss for what to say, you know? And then when I do know what to say, I have to actually concentrate and type out what I'm trying to say. Anyway, thank you so much for all the feedback on my last post. I still haven't really decided what to do.. for now we're just talking as friends, and we haven't hung out since I wrote the post, which I'm not sure if it's a good or bad thing. Anyway, there's a new guy on the horizon, so hopefully that will turn into something... we'll see. Yeah so there was something big that happened this weekend, and I think I'll write about it, but I'm slightly hesitant because its not something I'm sharing with my family, and I don't want them to read it.... why did I give out my blog address again?! lol ugh! I am in the process of trying to clean my room... it is next to impossible. It is amazing how much clutter can build up in such a small room. I took before pictures, and will take after pictures if it ever gets clean just to show you how bad it really is! So yeah, that's basically it. I just wanted to update you on the situation with that 1 guy, and hopefully there will be something to tell soon about the new guy! Thanks again for all the amazing advice and feedback, it really helped! I wasn't at all offended by anything you said, so don't worry about that! It's great to have such a support system :) I tried to reply to every comment the best I could, but I couldn't reply if your e-mail isn't set up with your account, so make sure you do that! Just a friendly bloggy reminder! hehe *If you don't know how to do this see here or here just to name a couple!

How Much is too Much?

ok so the general concencus on this was to post it... so I'm going out of my comfort zone and hoping no one I know IRL actually reads this! Well actually just the person this is about.. but whatever! So I've said before that I pride myself on being a good friend. I go above and beyond, and I know that sometimes I do too much, but I really do enjoy it. I think. But sometimes it can be discouraging, and it can start to feel like you're doing all of this for nothing, and what are you getting in return. This is the situation I'm in now. There's this boy. (That's how it always starts right?!) He may or may not have been mentioned on here before..) Well this is how it went... we started talking, I liked him, thought maybe he liked me, then he made it perfectly clear he's just not that into me, and wants to be friends. Of course, because I'm every one's friend, right? Perfect. So I gave it some time, and didn't talk to him for awhile. Then I decided we should be friends because I like him as a person and although part of me wants to be more than friends, I am willing to sacrifice my feelings to at least get to hang out with him and talk to him, because I enjoy that. Well, so far every time we've hung out it's been me helping him write papers for school. Which is fine, I like helping people, and I'm happy to do it since I happen to be a decent writer and it's a talent most people don't share. In his defense, he works 5 days out of the week and absurd hours, like overnight, then goes to classes during the day and sleeps when/if he can. So, although we're only hanging out when we're working on his papers, it's kind of the only time he has to hang out, so it's like killing 2 birds with 1 stone. However, I have to wonder. How much is too much? I have been going more than out of my way to help him. So out of my way that I slept over in his dorm room in order to help him with his paper, make sure he woke up to finish, etc. I wake him up for class in the mornings, I help him with his papers, I help him with basically whatever I can. I feel like I'm part nanny, part mom and part girlfriend. Except I'm none of those. I enjoy his company. I enjoy hanging out with him. But people are concerned... my friends say I'm going to get hurt. I know he doesn't like me like that, and I guess I accept that. But if I'm being completely honest, a part of me wants more. I kind of feel like I'm getting the raw end of the deal... like he gets my help basically whenever he needs/wants it, and there's no strings attached. Yes, I like hanging out with him. But I don't want to only hang out because he needs help. I don't know whenever I think/talk about it I just end up going in circles. I don't want to stop hanging out with him. I know he needs help, and for whatever reason I feel responsible to help him. But I'm afraid I'm gonna get hurt. I already got hurt by him once, after the whole I don't like you speech, but I got over it, and I decided to be friends because I really enjoy his company and talking to him. I guess I'm just wondering how much is too much? How much can I do without really getting anything in return other than a thank you and maybe a hug? It's not like I want sex. I don't. I don't want it to sound like that. I don't know what I want... I'm confused, and I'm scared of getting hurt. I don't know what to do. I know it's not going to turn out the way I want to... I can't make him want to be with me if he doesn't.

Randomness

• So I just wrote the most like honest and specific post I've ever written. Usually when I write about personal stuff, I make it hypothetical so that on the rare chance that someone I know like one of my friends felt like reading my blog (fat chance, but you never know) it might not be that obvious who/what I'm talking about. This is not like that. I always leave out specific details that make it obvious. Not this time. I don't even know if it makes sense, and I already know what advice I'm going to get, so I can't decide if I'm going to post it or not. I know what I have to do about the situation, I just don't want to.
• I apologize for my lack of posts lately. I've been exhausted and lazy and kind of having writers block. It's like I really want to write something, but I just want it to magically appear and everyone can leave me comments :) If only that would happen...
• I really want to blog about my personal stuff I'm going through, which is what the post I mentioned is aobut, but I just don't know if I can... I feel stupid for saying it out loud (or writing it, it feels like the same thing) because i know what I have to do.
• It involves a boy... doesn't it always!? He may or may not have been mentioned here before...
• I'm excited that our (or my) favorite TV shows are back! Private Practice is tonight, and Lipstick Jungle. I love them! One Tree Hill and Gossip Girl were Monday, those are my favorites too! I just love TV. I miss my TiVo at home a lot, though. Luckily, it's been pretty easy to catch up on what I've missed online.
• Have I mentioned how tired I am? This has been my schedule this week: Sunday night I went to bad at 5 AM... woke up @ 8:40 for my 9:00 class. Then had class all day until 2. Luckily I got to sleep in really late yesterady, but then I only got like 5 hours of sleep. Didn't have time to nap today either because I had class starting at 9 and then every hour on the hour (except for 12 during which I was supposed to eat lunch but didn't.. that's next), my last class was @ 2 which was newspaper, and I'm still not completely finished with everything I have to get done for that. I love it, I do, but sometimes I wonder what I got myself into with all the extra work.
• So I got my ears double pierced awhile back like within the 1st few weeks of school, and a couple days ago one of my 2nd holes got infected. umm... ouch. I can't even lay on that side. I had to take out my earring (which was next to impossible) and clean it out really well, it was bleeding like crazy, and it's still really red. Make sure you clean your ears when you get them pierced! I was just being lazy and I paid for it... big time.
• That's how I spent my lunch hour- cleaning out my ear and all that. Really pleasant. I figured I would just eat lunch after my 1:00 class. Forgot about my 2:00 class on Wednesday's only. I didn't eat lunch until like 3:30.. and I ate breakfast at like 9. Hadn't eaten since. I was starving.

Well, I guess that's it for now. I still have a lot of posts I want to write, some of them from my to-do list and some to add, so hopefully I'll quit being lazy and get them done!