It Was the Best of Times, It Was the Worst of Times...

So I've been a little MIA this week thanks to something I like to call hell week finals week. Needless to say, I've been a little busy wrapping up the semester. But now? I am DONE! Done with my junior year of college and moving on up to the big role of being a SENIOR! (I think I just had a small heart attack just typing that sentence) So, although I am definitely not bummed that school is out for the summer, I am completely bummed (to say the least) to be leaving my friends and my sorority sisters. It definitely makes this a very bittersweet time.

I say this every year, but seriously time flies! I can't believe that I only have a year left of college. I will never forget pulling up in front of my dorm the first time I got to campus, and thinking I had made a huge mistake. I looked around at all the unfamiliar faces and thought surely this whole college thing wasn't for me. If it were up to me, I would've turned that car around and never looked back! Luckily, some cute boys came up and offered to help me with my stuff and I decided I might like it here after all! And guess what?! I did!

I never thought I would end up going to school in Missouri, and sometimes I wish I didn't.  I can't just drive home whenever I feel like it. Instead of piling all my stuff into my car and driving a couple hours, I am struggling to fit everything into two suitcases that can fly home with me. To get home is a long day of traveling from one place to another.

But it is all worth it because my school is my home now. It's my home away from home, it's a place I look forward to going to and a place I hate to leave. It's where my best friends and my sisters are, and those people mean the world to me!

Junior year, like every other year, has been good and bad. I made some great memories, did some great things but all the while dealing with the sad news that my sister was sick once again. I am truly blessed, however, to be where I was while dealing with the sad news. The best therapy I could possibly ask for is just being with my sisters and my friends. They make me smile and laugh so hard my stomach hurts even when I feel like crying! I'm going to miss them so much this summer!!

The end of the year is always hard; you're packing up your stuff to move home for 3 whole months without seeing most of your friends that whole time. It is a sad time. This year, though, is especially sad for a couple reasons. First of all my best friend graduated today. I can't imagine life at school without her, and saying goodbye was so hard! Second of all, as one of my sorority sisters in my pledge class pointed out, this is the last time that we will leave for summer knowing that we will return in the fall. Next summer, when I move out of Alpha Chi Omega, that's it. It will really be over. It is definitely hard to imagine my college days coming to a close.

As I think about the summer, despite the fact that I am so sad to leave my friends, I know home is where I need to be this summer. It's going to be a rough one for my sister and my family, but I feel blessed that I get to be here. To have this time with them. Not everyone gets the luxury of going home for the summer, so I am remembering to count my blessings for the time I get to spend with my family.

So, right now it is truly the best of times and the worst of times. It is so hard to say goodbye to everyone and think about what I'm going to do without seeing them everyday. But, another semester is behind me and I can finally relax and spend much needed time with my family. As a friend texted me today when I was sad about leaving school:

"Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened!" :)

All the great memories that were formed this year! :)

Freshman year 
Sophomore Year 

Bin Laden is Dead... and Facebook reacts.

I'll be honest... I found out that Osama Bin Laden was dead on Facebook. It seems as though the first thing everyone did upon the news breaking was rush to their computers and update their Facebook Status. Facebook was literally overflowing with status updates about the news.

Back in the day when Obama was elected, I compiled the different reactions on facebook into a blog post. When I saw all the statues about Bin Laden's death, I knew I had to do the same. Most were celebrating, some were scary and some were hilarious! Check it out... 

The Celebrations:

•  America!! F Yea!!
• Godbless America and the men and women that caught Osama. 'Merica 
• Special thanks to all our soldiers for their courage and bravery. God bless America! :)
•  ...good to see bad things happen to bad people. 
• Well Done Presidents Bush and Obama, The CIA, US special forces, The Navy seals that killed Osama (I would like to shake your hands), and all our soldiers making us proud over seas. Burn in hell a$$ hole. USA!!!!! 
• Would love to been that small group of americans that took that bitch out!
•  WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS...at least for now...USA!! USA!! USA!!

A lot of them were thought provoking and/or quotes: 

•  It's a little disturbing how many people are celebrating a death with such hateful joy. I'm all for justice, but I'd like to think we're...you know...actually better than/different than the terrorists. That being said: adios, sucka 
• Do I take any pleasure in the death of the wicked? declares the Sovereign LORD. Rather, am I not pleased when they turn from their ways and live? - Ezekiel 18:23 
• "We will not tire, we will not falter, and we will not fail."- George W. Bush, Speech after 9/11 attacks
•  "Let every nation know, whether it wishes us well or ill, that we shall pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe to assure the survival and the success of liberty." President John F. Kennedy 
• "Terrorist attacks can shake the foundations of our biggest buildings, but they cannot touch the foundation of America. These acts shatter steel, but they cannot dent the steel of American resolve." -George W. Bush

The Scary:

• evil never dies one leader falls another rises...think about that.
• While OBL might very well be dead, think of what this might mean for our men and women in uniform and for ourselves, when the inevitable backlash occurs. Please keep this in mind while you're popping champagne corks and toasting one another. 
• hey people, just cause he is dead doesnt mean the war is over..... he was ONE person... there are thousands more just like him.

The Funny:

• Autopsy results show Toby Keith's boot inserted into bin laden's rectum 
• Osama Ghost: Well this sucks...I accidentally enabled location on my tweets. 
• I hope Zuck made Facebook strong enough to withstand the day our United States military heroes took out that jack wagon Osama! 
• "I have never wished a man dead, but I have read some obituaries with great pleasure." (Mark Twain)  
• We should bury Obama and Osama next to each other 
• BREAKING NEWS: Chuck Norris returns from trip to Afghanistan. 
• wrap that in your turban and wear it 
• "We'll put a boot in your ass, it's the American way." 
• FOX NEWS EMERGENCY UPDATE: New information suggesting that Osama Bin Laden was actually killed 49 years ago and has now been reincarnated into a multi-racial top political official is beginning to surface. 
• I was going to write a status about Bin Laden being dead...but I think Facebook got the message 
• Well, looks like Obama just got himself another 4 years. 
• Bin laden... best player ever in hide and seek... dead. 

There was even a group some of my friends were joining called "cancel finals in celebration of Bin Laden's death"! As college student I have to appreciate that! 


I always say when something big like this happens, if you want to know how people really feel log on to facebook and read their statuses! People don't hold back on Facebook, that's for sure! I was one of the few who didn't update my status tonight, but if I did I would go with the simple and generic "God Bless America." Today, I am proud to be an American!

When Vlogging Goes Wrong

So today, inspired by Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop, I decided I would make my very first vlog! I had some free time this afternoon and my roommate wasn't home, so I could do it in the comfort of my own room, so I got to work.

I knew I had to look good for my vlogging debut, so I straightened my hair, put make up on and even made sure to put a blue shirt on because it brings out my eyes! Then, I got my laptop set up and rearranged myself to look the best. I tried all kinds of positions, if you will; sitting up, laying down, putting my computer up a little. Finally I came up with an awkwardly low head tilt thingy* that didn't give me a double chin but I wasn't laying down because that would be weird. So, I was ready.

Well, I guess the vlogging gods were not happy with me, because it was not going well. My first take, I decided to quote the quote that is in my header. Well, I got flustered and totally forgot it. So I had to stop and start again. I figured I could just mesh the two together somehow and go with it. Great plan, right? Yeah, except I guess when I titled my computer lower to reduce the whole double chin thing, it covered up my microphone or something because it recorded without sound. So much for that. This is what I got from that.

Not so interesting when you can't hear me right? Fail #1.

So, not one to give up easily (actually, that's not true but whatever), I tried again. I talked for about 30 seconds, then decided I didn't like it, so I tried again. 3 more times. All 3 times there was no sound. So then, I went on a minor rant about how it wasn't working. Then I was all no one wants to hear you complain. So I scratched that.

Then I did a couple more. And of course, once again it didn't have sound. At this point, I started getting frustrated. I mean, this one was perfect! No double chin? Check. Look pretty? Check. Talked well, told a good story, didn't ramble, etc? Check. Sound? NO CHECK! ugh! Here's a screenshot just in case you didn't believe me that I looked good in this one!

Looking good right?!! Haha I swear I am not usually this obsessed with how I look, but it's my first vlog! I wanted to look cute!

Finally, I thought I had the perfect one! I didn't ramble too much, I looked good. Except, when I went to move it into iPhoto, I realized it only recorded 56 seconds of it. It was supposed to be more like 5 minutes. What!!? Here's the beginning of my vlog, all that got recorded.

It was a pretty good start but obviously incomplete. At this point I was just too frustrated to keep going and my roommate came home so obviously I couldn't keep talking to my computer! Plus, I was late for work so I had to go! I tried again when I got home from work, but by that point I looked tired and I was just not feeling it anymore.

If there is anything I've learned lately with all that is going on with my sister, it is when life gives you lemons, make lemonade. So even though the vlogging thing didn't really work out, I could still make a humorous blog post with my outtakes!

For one final laugh, I love this video. I was testing out my voice before I started and my face at the end of this is priceless! I don't know what I was thinking, I guess that I don't like my voice! I just thought I would share. You have to laugh at yourself once in awhile right?!

So maybe I'll try the vlogging thing again sometime. But for now, this is just one vlog gone very, very wrong!

*When holding your head like this for an hour and a half, you get serious neck pain. Just thought I would share that beauty really is pain!

Counting My Blessings

Sometimes you have to look at life and think about how you blessed you are. Maybe it's the holiday, maybe it's personal stuff going on, or maybe, in my case, it's certain events that take place that make you think "Wow, I am blessed". Either way, I figured I would share how I've been blessed lately.

Friday was a long day of traveling to get home for Easter weekend. A little background info- I go to school an hour and a half away from the St. Louis airport. Southwest flies directly from St. Louis to Dallas, so it is the best airport for me to fly out of even if it's not close. Because A) I don't have a car and B) even if I did, it would cost a fortune to park it at the airport, I take a shuttle service that drives back and forth to and from the airport. The bus from the shuttle service picks me up at a McDonald's about 10-15 minutes outside of my college town, so I get a friend to drop me off there.

Thursday I was asking around for a ride to the McDonald's and everyone was either going home already or had class at that time (yes, we had class on Good Friday. We also have class the Monday after Easter. Don't get me started!). Finally, I found a generous friend who was willing to take me! Well, when Friday rolled around things didn't go so smoothly. I needed to be at the bus by 2:20. I texted my friend at 2 to let her know I was ready and didn't hear anything back. I started to get nervous, but figured we still had time; it was no big deal yet. Well when 2:10 rolled around and I still hadn't heard from her, I started to panic. I called her and there was no answer. Time was running out quickly. Finally, I called another friend who said she was willing to take me. I am so thankful for this friend.

On the way, I called the main office to see if they could let the bus driver know I was gonna be like 5 minutes late. He said they could stall for 5 minutes, but not longer than that. I got there at 2:25. I just barely made the bus.

After a long ride, I made it to the airport, got my bag checked and everything. As I waited for my flight, I started to notice it was getting pretty dark outside. I noticed a bunch of dark clouds rolling in and I hoped it wouldn't affect my flight. Little did I know what was coming that way...

I made it home safely and was enjoying a nice, quiet evening with my family and our next door neighbors/great family friends. Then, I got a text delivering such scary news: The airport I had just been at a few hours ago in St. Louis was directly hit by a tornado.

The airport on Saturday with debris from the storm. Image from St. Louis Today.

Immediately, I thought over my day. I thought about how close I was to missing that bus. If my friend hadn't sped, if I hadn't found the second friend to take me, if I had been just another minute or two later I would've missed the bus. Which meant I would have to be on the later bus, which meant I may or may not make my flight. Which means I could have easily been at the airport when the tornado hit.

All I could think was how blessed I was. Seriously, I believe a higher power was looking out for me because I got so unbelievably lucky. This weekend has been a seriously emotional one for my family and I. We got some bad news about my sister, and we are trying to deal with what comes next. (More on that later.) I don't talk about religion a whole lot, and I am not usually one to just throw out God's name when something goes my way, but I truly, truly believe that He knew I needed to be here this weekend. He orchestrated everything so that I could be here with my family in our time of need.

And another blessing; Southwest's terminal was very minimally damaged, and they have already started having planes fly in and out again. Which means I won't shouldn't have any trouble getting back Monday morning. One less thing to worry about when my heart is already heavy with other things.

So, for now, even though my mind and my heart are heavy with the opposite of blessings, I am choosing to be thankful for the blessings that have occurred. I am choosing to focus on the good, and doing my best to deal with the not-so-good.

Make A Wish Monday: 5th Edition

Make A Wish Monday has reached it's fifth week! I am excited that I have been able to share all these great stories with you all so far, and I am looking forward to telling a new one every week! I love this weeks story because it is so fun! I think she made a great choice in what to wish for!

Tabitha is the feature of this weeks wish story! She is a 12 year old girl from Florida, and her wish was to go to a place she had only seen in movies; New York City!

The Make-A-Wish Foundation not only granted her wish to go to New York, but also gave her the movie star treatment; starting by picking her, her mom and her 13 year old sister up in a stretch limo to go to the airport.


Tabitha and her sister Anna in front of their limo!

When they got to the airport, her royal treatment continued; the pilot invited Tabitha into the cockpit and showed her all the planes instruments and how they worked.


Tabitha and her new pilot friend!

When they got to New York City, Tabitha and her family stayed in a luxurious hotel that was within blocks of Central Park, Roosevelt Island, Times Square and several great shopping destinations. During her five days in New York City, Tabitha spent her time site-seeing at the Statue of Liberty and the Museum of Natural History. She also saw three Broadway shows, and finally completed her stay in NYC with a scene straight from the movies; a carriage ride through Central Park!


Tabitha and her sister in front of the Museum of Natural History

Tabitha's mom expressed her thanks to the Make-A-Wish Foundation, saying "I wanted to thank you so much for Tabitha’s wonderful wish. The limos were enormous and the drivers were all so kind. The seats to the shows were all excellent. The weather was even perfect! We had such a great time and will always remember our wish trip. Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

I love this wish because isn't it every 13 year old girls dream to get to go to New York and get treated like a celebrity?! The Make-A-Wish Foundation makes dreams like this come true, which is why they are so amazing!

Don't forget World Wish Day is April 29! That is 1 week from this Friday!! That would be a great opportunity to give back to the Make-A-Wish Foundation with a monetary donation, a donation of something like airline miles or just by spreading the word about Make-A-Wish on your blog! :)



*All images and content came from the Make-A-Wish Foundation's website, wish.org*

Grown Up... Who Me?

There are approximately 20 days (give or take) left in my junior year of college. That means in approximately 20 days, I will be a senior in college. Where did the time go?!?! I feel like it was just yesterday I was blogging about my first day here! Anyway, due to this and a few other things that have come up lately, I have become aware of my *ahem* impending status... as a grown up.

Last week in our weekly sorority chapter meeting, our advisor asked all of the juniors to stand up. We did so, thinking we did something awesome and we were going to be bragged about or something. "Look around," she told everyone. We did. "In 20 days, you all will be the seniors of this chapter," she announced as we looked at each other in pretty much disbelief. We were all thinking how did we become the seniors? Weren't we just little freshman getting guided by the seniors? It was a wake up call, to say the least.

We all technically knew we were becoming the seniors soon; we had watched 2 classes of our friends graduate and leave, and we are quickly approaching graduation time where more of our friends will move on with their lives. It's only logical that we are next. But we didn't want to believe it. Didn't want to think that we were so close to having to be grown ups. 

Later in the week, I got an odd phone call. I didn't recognize the number, but I picked up anyway. Turns out it was the dentists office calling to see if I wanted to schedule my next cleaning because I was overdue for one. "That's weird," I told my mom later, recounting the conversation, "Why did they call me and not you?" "Maybe," she told me, "because you're 21 and you're a big girl now." Shoot. I guess I am.

All the sudden, it's all becoming clear to me. I am a grown up. Or at least almost a grown up. A year from now, I will be approaching graduation. From college. And moving home or wherever life takes me. Looking for a job. Being a real life grown up. So technically I have a year before I'm actually a grown up but lately it sure does feel like it's approaching fast. I am becoming more and more of a grown up everyday, whether I'm ready or not!

I am linking up at Mama Kat's Writers Workshop. I used the prompt "The moment I realized I was a grown up."

PYHO: Seasonal Depression

The time has come. I was doubtful it would ever arrive after months and months of snow and bitterly cold temperatures, but spring seems to be officially here. I realize that for most people this is a great thing, a happy thing. But for me? It causes what I have self diagnosed as seasonal depression.

I know it seems crazy. Beautiful weather, beautiful plants, the ability to actually be outdoors and not freeze.. how does that cause depression?! Let me try to explain...

I have never been a skinny person; it's just not how I'm built. But lately I have gained a lot of weight. I have let myself get so far out of control I don't know how to get back. And most of all, I have been in denial. Winter was easy. Throw on some jeans and a sweatshirt and you don't really have to face what your body looks like under all those layers, so you can tell yourself that you look great. That you haven't gained that much weight. That no one can tell how fat you are.

And then comes Spring... which means short shorts, tank tops, mini skirts and teeny tiny dresses. This brings out all my insecurities and multiplies them by like 1000. Eventually, it is so hot outside that you really can't wear jeans anymore and be fine. Which means it is time for the inevitable but awful; it is time to bust out the shorts. Just the word makes me cringe; I have a hate/hate relationship with shorts. First of all, why do they have to be so short? I don't want shorts that barely pass my crotch because underneath that are my thunder thighs that I am not trying to show off to the world. Second, why is there nothing between the really short shorts and the bermuda shorts? And finally, why is it so hard to find shorts past size 8? Because fat people shouldn't wear shorts? Well then what do you suggest we wear during the spring/summer?!!

And that's just the shorts. Last weekend, when it was 90 outside and there was a frat party that night, I was faced with a whole new dilemma. What on earth do I wear to some random frat party when A) it's 90 outside even at night and B) this means all the other girls are wearing something itty bitty which is what girls are expected to wear in this weather? This seriously caused me so much stress I considered multiple times not going and I may have shed a tear or two. (Not the first time this has happened.) This requires not only digging out my warm weather clothes that are safely tucked away, but also trying things on and facing the sad reality that half of it doesn't fit anymore.

Also, warm weather clothes are not exactly forgiving like winter clothes. They don't cover up the tummy that has expanded to the point that I look 8 months pregnant. They don't hide the FUPA. They don't hide my thunder thighs that rub together when I wear a dress or a skirt. (Side note, yes, putting deodorant there helps. But do you know how self defeating it feels to rub deodorant on your thighs? It's not exactly a confidence booster.) They don't hide my flabby arms that have taken a life of their own to the point where I can't wear sleeveless tops without being so insecure I can't think about anything else except how big my arms must look. They are forcing to me to face all my imperfections and I can't handle.

So, while some people want to stay inside and never leave the house during winter, I prefer to stay inside when it's warm. I don't want to have put on that sleveless top that shows my enormous arms. I don't want to have to rub deodorant on my thighs before leaving the house. Most of all, I don't want to face my body. I want to put on my sweatpants and big sweatshirt and get under the covers and hide. Hide from myself and hide from reality. So, you enjoy your warm weather. I'll be here. Counting the days until it is winter again...

I am linking up at Things I Can't Say today for Pour Your Heart Out.