I have officially crossed over...

Lately I've come across a lot of bloggers who say that either their immediate family or extended family (like mother's in laws) don't know they blog or don't read their blog. And there are just as many (maybe more) who are on the opposite side of things, and have to be careful what they post because their husband/mother/mother-in-law, etc. reads their blog. So it got me thinking.. how many of you are "undercover bloggers"? I first started this blog with the intention of keeping family up to date when I leave for school. However, my plans quickly changed. I found it to be very therapeutic and personal and I didn't want people that actually know me to read what I was writing. I really don't know why! It's ironic that I will let total strangers in on what's happening, but not my family. The irony is not lost on me, don't worry. However, it's not a secret that I blog. Many of you keep it a secret, and I don't know how! My family knows, and a lot of my friends know, but they don't get it. My friends tell me I have "no life" because I blog, and my family has requested the link to my blog a few times, but I have denied them... However, I have officially crossed over. I am no longer an "undercover blogger." I am about to leave for school as many of you know, and I am lucky to have a very caring family who wants t0 know what's happening. Honestly, it would just be impossible to e-mail everyone individually, and since I am so addicted to this blog, I will definitely be keeping it up to date as best I can. So I figure it's the best way for everyone to know what's happening. Therefore, I crossed over. I gave the first family member a link to my blog! I have no idea if she even read it or passed it on, but I did it. And it wasn't my mom! ha Don't tell her! It's funny because it makes me think about what I post, and while I won't censor myself because, after all, this blog is still for me just as much as anyone else, I am more likely to be anonymous about things dealing with friendships, and such. It's funny, though, what I am learning is that if you don't blog you really don't understand the bloggy world. I let some of my co-workers read my blog the other day while I took a break and they covered for me. They read my Top 5 Tuesday post, and they got confused because I linked to Dana's blog, so they went to her's, then got confused because they thought it was Supernanny's blog and they kept asking "Who is this person". That's what I get most when people who don't blog see me blogging - "Who is that?" "Do you know that person?" or my favorite "What is this?" Me: "uhh... a blog.. duhh!" haha It's a great world, our bloggy world, and it was particularly clear to me how great this bloggy world is for support last week when I most needed it. I know I already thanked you all, but really, I can't say it enough, that without the support of bloggy friends out there, I don't know what I would do! This post didn't turn out quite like I envisioned, but hopefully you can follow my randomness.. I'm off today, it's a Monday, can you blame me ?!?

Book Swap!

My new bloggy friend Chelle is hosting this brilliant idea- a book swap! How cool is that?! I love a good book, and I love to hear what everyone else is reading! I had a really hard time deciding what book I wanted to post, because there are so many great ones that I've read! I am a huge Jodi Picoult fan, and of all the books of hers I've read, I had a really hard time choosing a favorite. However, this was my 1st 2nd Jodi Picoult book, and I couldn't get it off my mind for weeks. I really wanted someone, like one of my friends, to have read it as well because I was just dieing to talk about it! Plus, the movie is coming out in 2009, featuring really big stars like Cameron Diaz and Abigail Breslin. So, without further ado... I present to you My Sister's Keeper! I promise you will love it! Thanks, Chelle, for this awesome idea! If you wanna join in (and you know you do!) go here and join up with Mr. Linky! Unfortunately, this week I will not be participating as far as choosing someone else's book to read because I must finish (a.k.a. start) my summer reading book before I leave next week).

I am humbled and grateful...

I am so grateful && so humbled by how many of you left such thoughtful comments this week. I honestly don't know what I would do if I didn't have this bloggy world of support... it's therapeutic just writing it down but when you guys leave comments with such thoughtful and helpful words, it is really unbelievable. So, I just want to say thank you from the bottom of my heart. This is definitely a hard time for me, but this bloggy world has honestly made it so much better! I've been busy getting ready for college and spending time with those friends I still have left that aren't complete !@#$%^S.. haha, but I will respond to everyone's comments and I promise I will try my hardest not to post all complaining posts this week because I feel like that's all I've done lately. Yes, I am still hurt. And I wish the situation was better, but unfortunately, its not despite my best efforts... I am really at a loss as to what to do and I suppose I will just have to let it go which is even harder for me than just fighting. I really could write another 10 posts about this (at least) but it wouldn't make me feel better, and I am trying not to dwell... So thank you again. I can't tell you how much it means to me to have support from so many different people. I will be back after the weekend is over and it's not so crazy around here!

On Top of Everything...

Clearly I haven't had my share of drama yet. Oh, no it's just getting good! Think you're disappointed now?! Oh, no. The fun is just getting started... So yesterday I am talking to a really good friend of mine, who at one point, was one of my best friends. For some reason or another we haven't really stayed in touch this summer. A few months back, we had a falling out and she didn't agree with some choices I was making, so she cut off our friendship. Just.like.that. Well, after a few months, we eventually started talking again, apologies were said, forgiveness was granted, etc, etc. You get the point. Well, like I said, we haven't really stayed in touch this summer since then. I really feel like I am trying... normally when we have disagreements it's because of my lack of trying, and putting other friends before her. Well, I was really making an effort... but with no results. So yesterday, we talk... and she informs me that she's leaving in 2 days to go on vacation.. and won't be back until the 19th. The same day I'm leaving for school. So I ask what she's doing the next 2 nights, telling her "I would really love to see you before you leave for vacation.. I don't know when I'll be back in town." And her response? This is good.... brace yourselves! "I'm really busy." Too busy to make time to see me before I leave until who knows when??! And it gets better... she literally said "oh well.." Oh well ?!?!?! Are you kidding me?!?! ?And the thing is... I would expect this from her.. but not from this friend. She was always there for me, she was the friend that I called crying, and it hurts that she doesn't even feel it necessary to say good bye! I am really getting the short end of the stick, here. And I honestly don't know why! I really think I did everything to be the best friend I could be... so why doesn't anyone feel the need to reciprocate? Like I said before, I never imagined this is how my last 2 weeks before school would be. I figured it would be sad... but not for this reason.

I'm an Idiot

Why am I always played for the fool? I should've known. Why did I expect that we could talk things out and understand where each other was coming from? She has never understood where I'm coming from, or even tried. I should've known that she would be the bitch, and I would be the one apologizing because I always am. I'm stupid for thinking that we could just forget about the past, move on, and enjoy the next 2 weeks. Of course not because that would be too easy, and nothing comes easy for me these days. Somehow, this hurts worse than it did before. Because I wanted to work things out. Despite everything... I told myself I didn't want to. I told myself I don't care, I'm over it, I've dealt w/ this for too long. And its all true. So why can't I just let it go? It's beyond hurtful... I'm the one whose supposed to be mad. I'm mad, and somehow she still takes all the power. I truly believed that she would be willing to listen to my side of things, and I to hers. I'm so sick of being upset, and let down. And it.just.isn't.fair. I really was fine... I really was mad. So why am I crying now, and not before??? It went like this: "I need to talk to you... I'll bring you your stuff && we can talk." "I'm working out." "Ok. When are you available b/c I need to talk to you..." "About?" "About things, when are you free?" "What do you need to talk about?" "Why does that matter, I just need to talk to you ok?" "No." And that was it. Just like that with one simple word she ended 3 years of a friendship that I dedicated my time, energy and heart to. I have never felt so alone...

New Plan

1st of all I am very upset with blogger because it's not cooperating at all... and my blog list no longer tells me when/what you posted... so I am trying out this whole google reader thing, but I miss being on your actual page. For now, though, it will work. Anyway, I was thinking and I decided that from now on when I have nothing else to say... I'm going to post something I've written before. I was on the school paper last year (I was actually part of the staff that launched it) and so I have a few things saved that I wrote that are actually applicable (like something other than school events that would mean nothing unless you actually went to the high school I did! ha) So today, I'm starting this new tradition... we'll see how long it will last, because I don't know if I really have an abundance of things written or not. Anyway, today we are starting with something I am very proud of and rightfully so. This essay was written for my college, and it earned me a $5000 scholarship! The prompt was the effect that media has on society, and I decided to make it about the impact of celebrity coverage in the media. I wrote this in one day, then had a couple teachers look at it for me, and sent it in the same day! So enjoy...

Do you know what Britney Spears has been doing lately? Did you know Angelina Jolie is pregnant again? How about the latest rumor about Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer?

More than likely, 9 out of 10 people will be able to repeat this information before they can tell you the latest developments on the war in Iraq.

The sad truth is that in today’s society, it is almost inevitable that most people who keep up with news will be aware of the latest celebrity happenings. With the latest technology and Websites like perezhilton.com and TMZ.com are getting millions of hits a day, it is clearly evident that today’s society is obsessed with media coverage of celebrities. The message the media is sending by covering celebrity happenings is these events are the most important events in society, and young people are taking this message to heart, resulting in potentially dangerous consequences.

In 2007, when Anna Nicole Smith died suddenly, it was the number one story on almost every news station. According to Thinkprogress.org, NBC’s Nightly News devoted 14 seconds to Iraq compared to 3 minutes and 13 seconds to Anna Nicole. CNN referenced Anna Nicole 522 percent more frequently than it did Iraq. MSNBC was even worse — 708 percent more references to Anna Nicole than Iraq. Events such as the sixth downing of a U.S. helicopter in the past three weeks, allegations that a deputy Iraqi health minister was aiding a Shiite militia in its attacks against U.S. troops, and the death of four Marines- all key events in the war on Iraq- were ignored, or given extremely minimal coverage.

The message the media is sending by prioritizing a celebrity event over the war in Iraq is that the death of Anna Nicole Smith matters more than soldiers dying for their country.

The almost nonstop coverage of celebrities in the media affects young people greatly by setting negative examples. Drug and alcohol abuse seem to be prevalent themes. More and more celebrities have allegedly used drugs such as cocaine, marijuana, and heroin- all of which can be extremely dangerous. Celebrities getting busted for DUI or being reported as drunk at night clubs seem to be so common people are not even surprised anymore.

Eating disorders are also becoming more frequent among young people because of the constant, obsessive coverage of celebrities. Adolescents are being taught that the images of celebrities and models in magazines are what “normal” men and women look like. Actually, the images they are comparing themselves to are the results of airbrushing, professional make-up artists, and who knows what else! The media is also portraying the idea through the coverage of celebrities that being “fat” is unacceptable and ugly.

The media’s judgment of celebrity coverage is endangering the future of our country. If the media is too busy focusing on celebrity happenings, our country will become a bunch of uneducated, celebrity junkies. Is this what we want for the future?

**Note** I feel the need to add that I am in love with celebrity gossip... so this essay is somewhat hypocritical.. its just that for research purposes it was in my benefit to take the con side as opposed to pro....

Top 5 Tuesday

Yay! It's time for another edition of Top 5 Tuesday over @ Dana's place..! Love this! This week's topic is Favorite places to shop!! I am a shop-a-holic, so this is perfect for me! Listen & Learn, people (or read whatever):

1. Nordstrom's Junior Dept. (A.k.a. BP)- They have the cutest clothes and they are cheaper than the rest of the store (obviously). They can still be kind of pricey, but nothing crazy! I always go here first when I need a special occasion outfit that is not too fancy, but dressy. I also bought a ton of cute clothes here to start off my work wardrobe at the beginning of the summer!
2. American Eagle- I know it's really typical like preppy girl stuff, and sometimes I hate it because so many other people have the same outfit. But there clothes are really cute and it's the only like "preppy store" that I can fit into.. I hate hollister & Abercrombie because their sizes are not realistic & it makes it so frustrating to shop there when everything is tiny.
3. The Impeccable Pig- It's a local store as far as I know, and this is the only website I could find for them, and you can't even buy anything from it. It's a super cute store with lots of cute dresses and tops. It's pretty expensive (like up to $100 for a top or more for a dress), but it's so worth it. I'm in love with everything i've gotten from this store. I bought my graduation dress from here, and I bought a bunch of cute summer tops, and recently some more dresses to wear to work and during rush and stuff.
4. Forever 21- This store I love because it's so afforable, and yet really, really cute! It can be overwhelming to shop here because it's packed with clothes, but if you look for the right stuff, you can usually find some really cute stuff!
5. E-bay- Admit it. You know you love e-bay. They have great deals and actually have a lot of cute, expensive clothes for less. I've bought everything on e-bay from perfume to keychains to purses to clothes. I also use it to sell stuff I don't want anymore. It's great!

Well that concludes today's addition of Top 5 Tuesday! If you want to join (and you know you do) head over to Supernanny Where Are You and link up!