For some reason this process has been especially difficult for me lately. In case you haven't noticed, I haven't been blogging a lot lately. It's been like 2 weeks since my last post, and it was like 2 weeks since the post before that. It's not from a lack of inspiration; I keep a list on my phone of all the topics I come up with to blog about, and currently that list has 15 ideas on it (counting this one). They are all good ideas, too, if I do say so myself! I would like to blame it on time, but really, I'm on the computer all the time so it really wouldn't be that hard to write a single post. The problem, for some reason, is getting the thoughts in my head into a coherent post. Often times, I get inspired to write blog posts at like 3 AM or some other crazy time where I should be sleeping. (Clearly this includes tonight since it's now 3 AM & I am blogging). Instead of getting up at 3 AM (usually I'm trying to fall asleep, I'm not asleep or anything when I get inspired), I write down the idea, and go back to bed. Well, clearly that is not good enough for me, because the post never happens. I read my list of topics almost daily, believe it or not, and am constantly adding new ideas. However, if it's not at that moment that I am inspired to write the post, I just don't feel like writing it anymore. I love writing, and I love blogging, there's no doubt about that. In my last writer's block post, I talked about this a little; I have been second guessing myself lately when it comes to my blog. Am I making sense? Am I just blabbing randomly? Will anyone care about this? Do I sound like I'm feeling sorry for myself? These are just a few of the questions that go through my head when writing a post, and usually I usually determine, that no, I am not making sense, and no, no one cares! So then I just save the post as a draft and think I'll get back to that later... then never do. Part of it, I think, is that I am afraid to write about certain topics because of who might read it. After I got a really nice anonymous comment on my dear ass hole post from someone who thinks they know who I am writing about & they know this person, I became aware of just how public my blog is. I do, after all, link to it on my facebook, so it wouldn't be hard for someone from school to find the link & read it, & possibly know who I am talking about. I know that I am in control of what links are posted, and I am in control of how I let the fact that anyone could read what I'm writing effect me & my writing, but it is one of the reasons I am sometimes apprehensive to publish posts. I don't really have a point... I don't think. It is 3 AM & I'm really tired & I'm losing my train of thought. However, I'm not going to second guess myself. I'm going to publish this post, and hopefully another one tomorrow, and get back on the blogging program instead of going two weeks without posting!




