My 100th post Bloggaversary!

It's HERE! It's my 100th post or as I like to call it my blogiversary (you know like blogging anniversary)! So I thought long and hard about what to do for this... do I give something away? Well that would require me to buy something & I'm broke! Should I do that 100 things about me thing that so many people do? Well, that could get real boring real fast and the last thing I want to do is bore you guys! So what did I decide you ask? Well I came up with a 2 part 100 post! So for part 1 I wish I could take credit for this brilliant idea, but Rebecca Kelsey at Miss Random Bliss suggested this and it was love at first sight read! She said "maybe you should post a list of your favorite top 10 entries, then top 10 readers, top 10 commenters, etc etc until you reach 100. Because one big 100 list could get boring. Split it up into 10 lists of 10 favorites!" What a great idea! Thanks, Rebecca! So let's start with my top 10 favorite posts:

1. Fake Conversation With a Real Person
2. WWWAT- Beginnings & Endings
3. Words of Wisdom
4. I Have Officially Crossed Over
5. Happy Endings or Not So Much?
6. Shopping Experiences
7. Moral Window
8. How Do You Really Feel?
9. Extreme Makeover: Sorority House Edition
10. New Plan (My Scholarship Essay)

Now for my Top 10 Commenters: (there's a thingy on the sidebar that tells you this but I wanted to give them a special shout out anyway) These are some of my best bloggy friends & I so appreciate their comments :) *Edit: I don't know what I was smoking thinking when I wrote these, but if you look at the sidebar they are completely different! The numbers are messed up, and there a couple new people added! So ignore the order & the number of comments... and shout out to Cammie and Heidi who have made the list since then!*

1. Krystyn (31 Comments!)
2. Jen E (27 comments)
3. Megan (21 comments)
4. The Broken Man (19 comments)
5. Chelle (19 comments)
6. Dawn (19 comments)
7. Tasha Via (16 comments)
8. Dee (14 comments)
9. The Nice One (10 comments)
10. Tenakim (10 comments)

Top 10 things I love about blogging:

1. I have a lot of feelings, and this is a way to express those feelings, and put them into words. It's very therapeutic.
2. I love "meeting" new people. That's one of the best parts about this bloggy world- you meet new people, and you bond over your likes, dislikes, etc!
3. Comments, duh! Comments are so fun, and people can be so nice. I love love it when new people come over, and leave comments like "I love your blog" or "You're so funny" <--- I never hear that in real life!
4. The community aspect of it! I love that we are like our own bloggy community! We can rally when someone needs our support, like Heather, or Amy and we have our own bloggy parties, like Aud's Dinner parties, and the amazing SITS community! It's like being in an exclusive club!
5. It's the easiest way to keep my family updated about school and stuff so I don't have to send out like 100 e-mails a day being like "this is what happened today... blah blah blah" lol
6. I love to write! I hate writing papers ironically because I hate when people tell me to write something specific... here I can just write whatever I feel like & whenever I want!
7. It's a total ego booster... like I said on #3, people say some of the nicest things! It makes me feel so good even when one new person comes to my blog and says they enjoy it!
8. Awards! I love getting awards! It makes my day, seriously! And I love being able to give them out and making someone else's day :)
9. It's like free entertainment! You guys are hilarious and it makes it so much fun to read your blogs! It's all free, and I can do it anywhere, anytime!
10. All of the above :) ok, so I cheated get over it !

Top 10 blogs I want to give a shout-out to (ok I wish I could shout out to all of you, but that would be way too hard, so forgive me if I don't mention you!)

1. Cammie- Even though we keep finding reasons to "break up" you're awesome & I'm glad you haven't given up on us yet! hehe
2. Susan- Not only is she my twitter buddy, but her blog is freaking funny!
3. Elaine A.- Because again she is another awesome twitter buddy, and she is hosting the food swap which is totally cool!
4. Laural a.k.a. Mamasphere- She is too funny & too sweet & her blog is awesome!
5. Melanie- My food swap partner has a really great blog & I'm so excited to swap food with her :)
6. Mandy- she is a new bloggy friend, but her blog is really funny & she's awesome!
7. Beth- Another new bloggy friend I found thru SITS. She is so funny & totally cool!
8. Rachel- She wants to live vicariously through me which makes me feel like I have such a cool life! lol Plus her blog totally cracks me up!
9. Janah- She has an awesome blog & she has the funniest story of how she got her blog name!
10. Heidi- She's just awesome I feel like I'm saying the same things about everyone but really she's super cool & super funny!!

Moving on... Hope you're not bored yet! 10 Random Facts About Me:

1. I am extremely sensitive to smell- I hate the smell of bubble gum, I don't like the smell of cleaning products, I am just super sensitive to all smells & it drives me crazy sometimes!
2. I am a facebook addict. I am on like seriously all the time. It is sad. I wouldn't be so addicted if it weren't for facebook chat, but I have a constant need to know who is online & if I'm missing out on some potentially amazing conversation.
3. I watch way too much TV. I could probably name like 50 shows I watch religiously. Ok maybe not that many but you know what I mean!
4. I'm not a morning person at all. I hate mornings, but I am such a "night owl" (I hate that term). I am usually up 'till at least 1 AM most nights, and usually much later. Even if I'm not doing anything, it's just a habit to stay up late.
5. I say "lol" way too much! Especially if I don't know what to say I just say lol & I usually say it before every sentence even if nothing is funny! Sometimes I substitute lol for haha
6. I use exclamation points way too much too. Especially in comments I always feel like I put way too many exclamation points. I just don't know how else to show my enthusiasm when typing!
7. I hate when you're having a conversation with someone texting or IM or something, and you say something & they respond with only "lol" or "ok". Ugh it is such a pet peeve! How are you supposed to carry on a conversation after that!?
8. You know how guys say they often find girls more attractive in sweats & a t-shirt? Well I think the same is true for guys, I am really attracted to guys when they are just wearing athletic sweats or something. Then again, it is really hot when they get all spiffed up in suits & a tie & everything! So I guess its a toss up!
9. I have the worst sweet tooth... I love sweets! Anything sweet... you name, and I'm sure I love it!
10. Joining my sorority is the greatest decision I ever made! My college experience would never be the same without it. I am so thankful for it.

10 blog stories that touched me: (There are so many amazing stories out there, I just wanted to take the time to point them out. They really put things in perspective.)

1. MckMama & Stellan's Miracle
2. Amy & Phillip
3. Matt, Liz & Madeline
4. Heather
5. Bring the Rain
6. Carolee's story
7. 4 Little Men & Twins
8. Hannah Garman
9. String of Pearls
10. Briggshill

Top 10 Funniest Keywords That Lead to my Blog: (I can't figure out why this looks weird.. sorry!)

1. "(but you don't understand, osgood. uh, i'm a man.) well, nobody's perfect!"- yeah I have no idea what they were searching for!

2. "take a breather, lebron"- lol! I love this quote it's from my HSM3 Review!'

3. "bigoldie women.com"- This seems to be a reoccurring theme, people looking for old women & getting to my blog... I'm not sure what to think of that... I'm also not sure I want to know what this website would look like if it existed!

4. "girl not texting back"- sounds like a personal problem, maybe she doesn't want to talk to you! My blog has nothing to do with this though... unless you count the fact that this girl won't text me back anymore!

5. "i had a party last night sorry you couldn't come your boyfriend did twice icon"- LOL!!! I know this is bad... but it cracks me up!

6. "i`a not a girl wets a woman"- wow talk about a typo...

7. "lil wayne running for 2012 election"- lol this is coming from my election facebook status' post I'm sure, but I love that people think Lil' Wayne should run for president! He does have lyrics "Fuck em, fuck em, fuck em Lil Wayne for President!"- maybe that's his intent to run announcement? lol

8. "pretty girl blog?"- Thank you, google for sending them to my site! I am flattered :)

9. "usc dental fraternity halloween party 2008 photos"- Well, I don't go to USC, so I was definitely not at that party... so I am not sure my blog was much help.

10. "worlds record for bestess singing"- hmm I can't say that I know that... also I think you should work on your grammar because "bestess" is not a word!

10 of my Favorite TV Shows: (in no particular order)

1. Private Practice
2. One Tree Hill
3. Gossip Girl
4. Grey's Anatomy
5. Lipstick Jungle
6. Desperate Housewives
7. Brothers & Sisters
8. Privileged
9. Starter Wife
10. Friends (I love the re-runs!)

10 of my Favorite Quotes:

1. "No boy is worth crying over. And the one who is, won't make you cry."
2. "Love the people who treat you right, forget about the ones who don't, and believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said that it'd be easy, they just promised it'd be worth it."
3. "People can take everything away from you... but they can never take your truth. The question is: can you handle mine?"- Britney Spears, My Prerogative
4. "true friends & true hearts that's all that counts in life" -uptown girls
5. "all girls really want is someone to want them back"- one tree hill
6. "The elephants get drunk all the time. It is becoming really dangerous. We need to stop making alcohol available to them," Paris Hilton about Indian elephants.
7. "Whoever said orange was the new pink was seriously disturbed" - Legally Blonde<33
8. You have three choices in life - give up, give in, or give it your all.
9. "Life isn't the number of breaths you take, it's the moments that take your breath away."
10. "Some of the best things in life are unseen. That's why we close our eyes when we kiss, cry, pray, and dream."

And finally for my last list, I'm giving those of you who tweet! So I have compiled the (in my opinion) funniest tweets from the past week maybe a little less! Top 10 funniest recent tweets:

1. @HappyHourSue Borders dude said they were out of the free Twilight posters. So I threw my shoes at him
2. @ShredderFeeder My wife said she was ordering an etiquette book for my eldest... I told her to make sure it was big enough to hit him with or it won't work.
3. @TheDailyBlonde Hiding from the kids. They r dancing to the Jonas Bros. Oh NO! :)
4. @themomjen According to my 7 year old....being Clausterphobic is being afraid of Santa!
5. @TheBookMamma I'm braving the unholy holiday hell that is Bridgestreet today. I've officially smoked way too much crack. Wish me luck
6. @SteveOuch The malls are empty in Portland today, guess I get Santa all to myself. Find out what other operations he has going on in the "North Pole"
7. @TheDailyBlonde Scored a great parking spot. Think I will try to sell it.
8. @Ruensontherun Lots of people coming to my blog and not leaving comments...maybe they are looking for crack...guess it's disappointing
9. @McMommyblog Someone helllllllllp meeeeeeee! My techy hubs decided to "re-do" our server yesterday. I have had no internet or email since then!!!!!
10. @ElaineA It's not even 10 a.m. yet and the kids are driving me up the wall! Margarita anyone?? {just kidding...sorta...}

Well that concludes my series of top 10 lists... but I mentioned there would be 2 parts right? Here's where you come in! For my 100th post, my goal is to get 100 comments! That would be a record, and I need your help breaking it, bloggy friends! And while I appreciate Broken Man's efforts on my birthday post, 1 comment per person please! I want to get 100 separate comments :) I realize it's a big goal, but with your help we'll see if we can make it happen! I would love you forever :)

Umm.. what ?!?!

So I may have mentioned a couple of times that I have been waiting... and waiting for some funny keywords that people use to get to my blog to show up on Google Analytics so I can write a post like all the great ones I've read from everyone else. (is it me or was that a major run on sentence? O well) Well, friends, family, aliens, others: the day has finally come! I have become a bit obsessed with my keywords, and so I had some spare time and decided to see what people have been searching to get to my blog these days. Here are the winners:

1. 60 something woman's blog- dear Google person, I sincerely hope when you say 60 something woman, you are NOT meaning 60 something in age. Perhaps you were looking for 60 or something different woman's blogs? I don't know, but I am nowhere near 60.
2. Google.com- Um.... who Google's google? And even if you're not using google but yahoo or msn or some other search engine... why on earth would you feel the need to search for google.com?? Also, you spent a long time on my blog after searching for google.com: 3 minutes! I'm curious, google googler (how do you like that?!) what on my blog intrigued you about google.com? Perhaps my love of google reader? or google analytics? Well I hope you found what you were looking for, but I'm guessing not.
3. English paper about a terrible day- Um... why would you write an English paper about a terrible day? I certainly haven't. That is what this blog is for. And yes I have certainly blogged about having a terrible day. But I don't think I've blogged about English papers? Although I did write an English paper about blogging. Not kidding!
4. One month of menus for a sorority house- yes, it is true I live in the sorority house. Alpha Chi Omega to be exact. However, I can not tell you anything about the menus for a sorority house. We eat at the cafeteria like everyone else. If it convinces you to go Greek I'll make something up: Monday- Filet Mignon Tues- Lobster Weds- Spaghetti. Ok, convinced? Good. Rush Alpha Chi Omega!
5. People writing- What exactly were you trying to get to by googling people writing? Yes, I write, especially on my blog. Do you have a blog, googler? You should. It's all the rage. And people write on them. It's like a big giant community of people writing! Yes, people writing, which apparently you're interested in, so go for it!
6. What to say to a girl not loving- Well, I am no expert, but I would say "Why are you not loving?" What not funny? I know. Let me try again... perhaps singing to her "Can you feel the love tonight?" yeah, I've got nothing.

Now for my favorites:

• "movie quote i'll give you three meals a day and you can sleep with me if you want to."- I'm sorry, what??! What kind of movie are you watching? It's true I did a post on movie quotes, but I don't recall offering to sleep with you... not to mention how do you even put those 2 together.. I'll feed you 3 meals a day- good, proper nutrition always important. You can sleep with me... woah! I'm sorry you can't sleep with me. I am not a pimp!
• The 4th hole on women- I don't even want to think about what this could mean. Please tell me you mean hole as in a piercing on your ear. I hope it's not something perverted. This sounds like some kind of sick game... like hey, see if you can find the 4th hole on women! Ya, we don't have holes. Ok well we have 1... oh my gosh off topic, moving on!

So, I hope you enjoyed. I guess I wouldn't necessarily call them funny, but they were at least somewhat entertaining right? Maybe it's just me being overly optimistic that people are actually searching something other than Not a Girl, Not yet a Woman to get my blog! Also, I'm not sure whether or not I am creeped out by the fact that several people specifically googled "Patrice William Woods Fulton" or some variation of that with my name, etc to get to my blog. I sincerely hope it's friends and family who are looking for my blog and not creepers...

Disappointing Performance

So lately everyone has been posting these hilarious keyword posts, like the funniest keywords, according to Google Analytics that people Google to get their blogs. So, the first time I read one of these posts I immediately signed up for GA of course, because if you can't jump on blog bandwagons then what's the point right?! haha So, I occasionally check it to see how my site is doing, you know if I can be all like Sally Field and say "They like me, they really like me!" or just bust out in song like "Celebrate good times, come on!". [Why do I feel like all these references are before my time...?"] Anyway, sadly, I can't bust open the champagne sparkling cider just yet, because I have come to the conclusion that if someone were grading my blog, I would get a big fat "F" for a very disappointing performance.

Here are some facts about how popular my blog is:

• So there's that whole graph thing that tells you how many hits you get a day... and there was 1 day that was really high, so I was all excited like "Wow, I must have written something really good that day" yeah... not so much. It was August 22, and I was all "August 22? Wait.. that's when I got to school... did I post that day?" Turns out that's the day Rachel guest posted for me. 129 visits! I wish I was making that up, but I'm really not! I don't have a single post that got even half that! I should give you some kind of award for that, Rachel!
• The only keywords that lead to my site are pretty much a variation of my blog title- Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman. I mean throw in Britney spears before that, or background music, or even notes or spell it wrong like Ia'm not a girl...
• Ok. I lied I do have other keywords, I just didn't know where to find them.. but the disappointing performance still exists... because all but 1 keyword (which happens to be Alpha Chi Omega (my sorority) Fulton MO- very specific and I got a whole 4 visits from it!) have a 100% bounce rate... and their average time spent on my site?? 0:00 Nice.
• Also, not a single one of those keywords is funny in any way! Definitely not porn, or giant purple genitals, or "the thing"anything to do with boobs!
• My second highest day of most visits?? August 25... I didn't even post that day! So, more people come when I don't post than when I do? Hmm
• The award for second best guest post goes to MommaBlogsAlot for the most time spent on one page... the average time was 11 minutes reading your post! Wow!
• I hate complaining on here, because I don't want it to be like a pity party blog, but apparently people like it because my post from the other day when I was feeling down was the most popular so far! Woo hoo! I'll try to be in a bad mood more often... just kidding!
• 85.97% of my traffic... comes from referring sites. So, thank you to those of you who put me on your blog roll or linked to me in some way! At least you guys like me...

So, overall I would say the lesson of the day is get people who write kick ass blog posts to do it for you. Beg people to put you on their blogroll, since that's apparently the only way people come to your site. It's okay to have a pity party, people like pitying you!

And finally... write about crazy things like giant purple genitals (that one has stayed in my head forever) or boobs, and people will come.. maybe crazy people, but people!

**Disclaimer... this post is intended to be humorous, as in I'm poking fun at myself. It is not, I repeat NOT, a pity party. I love to blog & if people like me, great, if not that's ok too!